How to make this sound better?

Former Member

I forgot to say something like this when I was sending a girl a message.

This is what I've just thought of.


I should have said in my previous post that I would never break the most precious thing in the world.....your heart.

Also, I would love to get to know you!


How could I make it sound better?


Thanks in advance

Former Member

It's a bit cringe worthy for me - talking about 'most precious thing in the world... your heart' is very soppy! (some people may like that though ) Whats the situation (I may have missed out on posts), are you already dating this girl? If so its much more forgiveable, but if thats the case then you already know better than us what sounds ok.

Former Member

i'd instantly avoid chatting to someone who said anything like that to me after barely talking to me

Depends how long you've known her for, although i'd say thats more, early stages of actually dating chat, and sending a message specifically to say "ooh i meant to say this" is a bit weird in itself.

Hopefully you dont take this badly, but it does seem like from some other posts in here you do come on too strong

Former Member

I haven't posted anything about this girl, named April, before.

I only sent her a message yesterday for the first time because she looks mighty fine and she lives only 4 miles from me.

This is what I sent her yesterday

I read all of your profile, I enjoyed reading it and didn't become bored reading it through.... twice.

I'm sorry you have come out of a relationship. And you have had your heart broken a few times. Hope your ok?

Maybe I should start off by saying that I haven't been in a relationship before. I hope this doesn't put you off.

I'm from Keighley. I can drive and I notice you can too. I'm just hoping that you live in the Cowling which is near Keighley??

I can honestly say that I am genuine, caring and probably fun.


I am hoping you will reply.

Former Member

i wasn't talking about just this girl, but i've noticed before when youve asking for advice on topics like this.

Has she replied yet? I wouldn't send that bit on right off the mark, tbh like i said its more actually dating chat rather than flirting, although i suppose some girls may like it, but i'd definately be like "AVOID!"

unfortunately i cant offer much more advice cause im not too sure about the way things work on dating sites, so no idea if thats the usual way to start things off or not.

Former Member

tbh im no good at dating websites but it is a bit.. strong and serious. I would have expected to open up saying "Hey saw your profile and that you're interested in [poultry or something], me too! Maybe we could chat sometime ^^."

Former Member

Advice taken. Thanks

Former Member

Definitely don't post anything about not wanting to break her heart - I can't speak for all of girl-kind, but I personally would find that far too full-on from someone I'd never even met before and had only had one message from.

I think you sound like a really decent guy and someone who is kind and thoughtful, but as AThiefAWhoreAndALiar said, you run the risk of coming on far too strong too early. I wouldn't angle to meet up with this girl straight away - ask her plenty of stuff about herself (but without interrogating her!), try to keep your messages light-hearted and laid back and hold back a little as you need to give her a reason to be curious about you and want to find out more. It's good that you're open and honest, but laying everything about exactly what you want from a relationship on the table in your first couple of messages could scare her off.

ETA: Sorry if this comes across as repeating what others have said, I took a while writing it out and a few more replies came in while I did

Former Member

Thanks StupidGirl
Yes it is a good job that you came along when you did.

She read my message last night, but hasn't replied sadly

Former Member

I think what you have sent her is quite sweet. I wouldnt send her the other part though a bit strong especially if she hasn't replied yet. Even though she might take it it in a light hearted way its not worth the risk me thinks.

Hope she replies though.

Former Member

notanotherusername! wrote: »

I think what you have sent her is quite sweet. I wouldnt send her the other part though a bit strong especially if she hasn't replied yet. Even though she might take it it in a light hearted way its not worth the risk me thinks.

Hope she replies though.

I hope she replies. I'm fed up being single :mad:

Former Member

This is meant in the nicest possible way mate, but you're giving off an air of desparation. Don't make it seem like you have to have someone in your life. See them as an extension of your life, an addition to it.

What you wrote, i would change to:

Hey, so I read all of your profile, I enjoyed reading it that much that I read it twice!

I'm XXX from Keighley. There's not much to do round here, so I'm glad I can drive, it means I can go and visit friends at X, Y and Z.

I saw that you go cow tipping quite often. I find it quite funny and am really interested in learning how to do it. Do you know of any places where I can have a go at it?

You also mentioned that you are a nurse / child care assistant / scientist / policewoman - do you enjoy your job?

But, i'd also include something about what she says in her profile. E.g. If she says she likes cow tipping, say you've never been cow tipping and wondered if she knew of any good places to go and do it. Don't say I'd want to go with you - just be casual about it and make it look like you are interested in her, because you should be. If she offers to take you one day, then brilliant. (as above).

Relate it to the person with whom you are trying to speak with. Don't make it seem like a bog standard response (i.e. the one's we all get when we e-mail a customer service department).

Just be casual and not too up front - you wouldn't mention what you wrote to someone you met face to face, so why do it online?

Good luck mate, hope she replies. If not, her loss!:thumb:

Former Member

Instead of starting another post.



There's a girl at work who I like. She I think doesn't like me.

Her birthday is sometime this year, and I was wondering if she would appreciate a bunch of flowers off me?

What do you think guys?

Former Member

Mr.Ferrari09 wrote: »

Instead of starting another post.



There's a girl at work who I like. She I think doesn't like me.

Her birthday is sometime this year, and I was wondering if she would appreciate a bunch of flowers off me?

What do you think guys?

Does she know how you feel? If not, a bunch of flowers would be a bit odd, I think. Just completely randomly, like. I mean, you should get talking with her first.

Former Member

switch "heart" with "cunt". It's not really classy then, but I guarantee your sucess rate will be better.

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote: »

switch "heart" with "cunt". It's not really classy then, but I guarantee your sucess rate will be better.

Bet you get all the gals


If some random from my work sent me flowers then I would not be impressed...even if I fancied the pants off them. The again I am a cold hearted bitch and flowers do nothing for me!

Former Member

No offence but its like your trying everything just to get laid maan!

flowers off randomer = stalker or werido. sorry

Former Member

notanotherusername! wrote: »

No offence but its like your trying everything just to get laid maan!

flowers off randomer = stalker or werido. sorry

I agree, looking desperate won't get you anywhere :no:

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote: »

switch "heart" with "cunt". It's not really classy then, but I guarantee your sucess rate will be better.

Nice one Strubbs

This thread just makes me laugh

Cant you go on the lash to the local Wetherspoons and just pull any old random? She will only cost you a couple pints of cider. Its a lot easier and you dont have to come out with those cheesy lines. :thumb:

Former Member

or you get to use better cheesy lines like...

Get your coat you've pulled
do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past you again
did you know you have [number of bones] in your body? Do you want one more?
did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?
How you doin'?
I could go on

Former Member

notanotherusername! wrote: »

or you get to use better cheesy lines like...

Get your coat you've pulled
do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past you again
did you know you have [number of bones] in your body? Do you want one more?
did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?
How you doin'?
I could go on

Was your father a thief, cos he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes
Are you tired? Cos you've been running through my thoughts all night :thumb:

Former Member

Dude seriously when you have any more bright idea's how to pull a female stop and think for a minute,then do the complete opposite.
I think you need to learn how to read females better cause to be blunt it looks like your coming across as either a freak stalker or desperate to get laid.
As someone else suggested just go to your local club and law of averages are you will get laid eventually.

Former Member

cassidy04 wrote: »

Dude seriously when you have any more bright idea's how to pull a female stop and think for a minute,then do the complete opposite.
I think you need to learn how to read females better cause to be blunt it looks like your coming across as either a freak stalker or desperate to get laid.
As someone else suggested just go to your local club and law of averages are you will get laid eventually.

I like this bit lol.



I've given with the girl at work....don't ask.

About the girl who I first told asked you about, well I sent her a message what films and music she likes and she's replied today

Former Member

Serious question and sorry if i cause offence, but do you just wanna get laid? because if you do you're going around it the hard way.

Former Member

No I odn't want to get laid!!!! I want a girlfriend!!! As I said in my previous post, I'm fed up of being single

Former Member

Well then you need to slow it down, nothing about breaking hearts. Get to know them, ask them questions you would normaly ask people in a conversation. No obvious chat up lines. Just make them laugh and act relaxed.

Former Member

yep- the best way to get a girlf/boyf is not to go actively looking for one! Start off by trying to make new friends, and then when you're friends you can start working out whether you're compatible to be boyf girlf! then things will fall into your lap without you wasting so much effort diving straight in with the omgz i'll never break your heart i love you so much stuff.

Also- be comfortable in being yourself and being alone first. Then you'll be more successful in relationships, i think.

Former Member

queenmab_roo wrote: »

yep- the best way to get a girlf/boyf is not to go actively looking for one! Start off by trying to make new friends, and then when you're friends you can start working out whether you're compatible to be boyf girlf! then things will fall into your lap without you wasting so much effort diving straight in with the omgz i'll never break your heart i love you so much stuff.

Also- be comfortable in being yourself and being alone first. Then you'll be more successful in relationships, i think.

:yes:

Former Member

StupidGirl wrote: »

Was your father a thief, cos he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes
Are you tired? Cos you've been running through my thoughts all night :thumb:

I like this one: Was your father a thief? cos he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your mouth.

When she looks puzzled you say, "cuz you've got teeth like stars. yellow and there are huge gaps between them."