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Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have a slight problem or issue that i need some help on.
My husband has got into the habit of promising me and then not delivering.
For example..yesterday he went to an open univeristy tutorial, but the night before he promised to take me out for dinner and a movie, and told me to look my best as he was going to take me out somewhere nice. He came home earlier than expected which i saw as a good sign. I had already started getting dressed to which he said we were no longer going out as the weather was bad, and promised to take me out today.
Woke up this morning had breakfast, and i asked him what the plan was for today, he said he was going to do a bit of studying and then spend some time with me, and take me out.
its now 6.15pm we're still at home, hes just shouted at me, because ive tried to converse with him, and i have no idea wat to do for dinner.
Yes this course is important, but hes forgotten that he has a relationship with me...he comes to me for sex, when he wants dinner making, or when he wants something else.
i feel used, and unwanted right now. ANd i cant even cry because i understand the importance, im thinking maybe i should take his words as a pinch of salt and not allow myself to be sweeped up in his talks..
empty words?
am i just being oversensitive?
My husband has got into the habit of promising me and then not delivering.
For example..yesterday he went to an open univeristy tutorial, but the night before he promised to take me out for dinner and a movie, and told me to look my best as he was going to take me out somewhere nice. He came home earlier than expected which i saw as a good sign. I had already started getting dressed to which he said we were no longer going out as the weather was bad, and promised to take me out today.
Woke up this morning had breakfast, and i asked him what the plan was for today, he said he was going to do a bit of studying and then spend some time with me, and take me out.
its now 6.15pm we're still at home, hes just shouted at me, because ive tried to converse with him, and i have no idea wat to do for dinner.
Yes this course is important, but hes forgotten that he has a relationship with me...he comes to me for sex, when he wants dinner making, or when he wants something else.
i feel used, and unwanted right now. ANd i cant even cry because i understand the importance, im thinking maybe i should take his words as a pinch of salt and not allow myself to be sweeped up in his talks..
empty words?
am i just being oversensitive?
0
Comments
I would be really upset
its just winding me up....
maybe i am being over sensitive
You have said that he just changes his plans and doesn't tell you, so you are excited to go out for dinner, and then understandably disappointed when this changes!
I think you need to go and say 'look, can we have a chat' at a time when he's relaxed and not studying, and explain how this is making you feel.
I hope you are ok xxx
What I will say is that I imagine, at this time of year, your husband is coming up for his exam and it can be pretty stressful. There is a lot of self-discipline involved in studying for 5-7 years for a degree (assuming he is an under-graduate) and one can become very obsessive. Assuming there are no other issues in your relationship, by all means let him know your feelings, but I would just hang in there until this particular period has passed. I am sure he will appreciate your support and make it up to you as soon as he finishes this course.