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What to do? Leave it or worth a shot?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Alritey,

Right straight to it. On my placement last year on a night out, met this girl who was the girlfriend of one of the people we were out with. Just said hello and the usual stuff really, think i was too busy getting bladdered at the time.

Anyway, so she adds me on facebook (she's the type to add everyone she meets on facebook) and msn. So over the year we chat away and get on with each other, she starts to have problems with her bf and talks to me about it. Nothing wrong there i guess, think she just found it easier to talk to me about it as i'm someone outside of her main friendship group.

At this stage, im not really thinking about her in that way tbh. Only met her once and didnt think it was right to try my luck when she was all over the place. We've chatted on the phone quite abit and got to know each other a little bit but still thought it would be abit weird.

Anyway, so month ago(?) we met up just for a drink and chat and it was great! Shes a great girl, good looking, funny etc all the things i like in a girl and one major thing was, it wasnt awkward, just chatted away like we'd known each other for years. But things were still rocky with her bf, well they had basically broken up, so again kinda just happy to meet up and get to know her abit more as mates.

We carry on speaking on the phone, texting etc. She did say that theres noone whos interested in her who she likes atm .. but did say that she doesnt know of all the people whos interested in her yet... really dont know if thats a hint or not, hmmmm.

Week or so later shes on a night out (back home from uni for the weekend), she loses her house key and her best mate pulls and goes home with some lad, apparently. So she asks if she could stay at mine as she had nowhere else to go. I said yes, just as somewhere for her to stay, but seeing that she doesnt really know me that well i thought it was a little odd! She did say i was the last resort, as her ex said no.

Anyway yeah so she stays over, says she stayed at mine because she trusts me and basically she broke up with her bf, properly, that night. So alot of tears from her so i was more of the shoulder to cry on really.

Since then, we've still talked alot etc. I think shes struggling abit with the break up tbh but i really dunno how to approach it now. I mean i do like her and would love to get to know her more, but i dont wanna come out and say ohhhh i really like you etc right now as its just gonna look like i was waiting for her to be single to do it. Would just be bad timing in my eyes.

But then i've done this before and it ended up not going anywhere because i said nothing and the girl thought i wasnt interested when i was!!

Also she's ridiculously hard to read, not sure if she just see's be as a mate or if she likes me in that way.

Tough one to call really, i don't wanna ruin being mates if she doesnt see me that way but then i dont know how to approach it if she does see me that way!

Any words of wisdom?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just go for it. Waiting for someone to be single is not a bad trait. It is actually something honorable. Shows respect and patience. I would go for it. If she's interested, yea, there you go. If she's interested but it's too soon for her, just don't spend TOO much time with her, it will pan out eventually, and if she's not interested or says, she's not ready yet, but you don't know if she's interested, well, just go on with your life. It's not like you have now worse chances than to any other point of time, imho.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree, explain to her that you'd like to spend more time together, go out etc but you're willing to wait until she's over all the ex business and comfortable with seeing someone else until anything happens.

    And as you dont want to ruin the friendship, if she turn you down make sure she knows that you still want to remain good friends with no awkwardness.

    Good luck!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, I'd definitely let her know you like her. Don't come on too strong, though. Just tell her you think she's pretty cool or whatever, and see where events take you ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmm..not sure i agree with the other comments. In my experience any girl who's interested will hide all the mushy slushy stuff like her crying over her ex from someone they're interested in. tbh i'd have probably tried it on when she stopped over at yours (sorry the only spare place to sleep is in my bed, and i sleep with nothing on :p) bad timing maybe but who cares.
    Are you both flirty when you talk? or is just matey banter?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Man up and get on with it :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know what I'd probably do, but I don't know if it's the most sensible option... if you make it clear you like her, but want to make sure you aren't rushing her into something after her ex, then it's win/win.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hio3

    Dont be too forward when you are with her, dont make her feel uncomfy. She probs needs you as a friend, as a girl who has been in her shoes, it is pretty heavy at the end of a relationship and someone you think is a close trusted friend tells you they like like you. But then again, when this happened to me I was very distressed but talked to my friend and we have managed to get back to normal now, but it took like 2/3 months of feeling awkward on my part and torn up over my BF. Pretty sucky.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    icey wrote: »
    Hmm..not sure i agree with the other comments. In my experience any girl who's interested will hide all the mushy slushy stuff like her crying over her ex from someone they're interested in

    Not necessarily. When I was with my ex I had a friend who I liked and everytime we had a row I'd go crying to him bout it
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Idont think it's necessary to come out and say that you like her as it's a bit full-on. You just need to ask her to do something with u so u can get to know each other better in person like go down the pub or cinema etc. If she wants to spend time with u on a one to one basis then that's a good sign and you'll also be able to make things progress.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cheers for reading everyone! Really good to see what other people think. I'll see how it goes :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good luck!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Update - going nowhere! Seems shes trying to mend things with the ex. Ah well, friends it shall be! :)
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