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Moving away...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey,
Basically I'm in a great long-term relationship (4 years) and we've both just moved in together this year. Here's where it gets tricky. I'm in a relatively successful band - it was going before I joined so I'm not biased here - and are planning to move to London next September to try and make something of it. As I say this isn't some pipe-dream, I know it's tough but seriously think it is worth trying; we're not just a bunch of teenagers or men who think we're pretty good is what I'm trying to get at. It's a serious decision.
Now, (as the plot thickens) I'm a hydrologist by trade and am doing my MSc this year. I'm planning on getting a consultancy job in London. It's sustainable with the band as I'm currenly juggling my course and a pretty hectic schedule. Obv. if the band made it I'd have to reconsider things!
Anyway, I digress. My gf is in her first year of university and has 2 more to go and therefore won't be moving to London this year (hopefully in two). Now I'm FULLY COMMITTED to making the LDR work because she means everything to me and she supports the bands chance to make it. Problem is ever since we've started making arrangements for making the move my gf is really upset and is crying a lot of the time.
Obviously I feel really guilty and am unsure how best to console her. She wants me to tell her things about it etc and I'm trying my best but I'm worried it's going to affect her studies. At the same time its putting emotional stress on me but I know going is the right decision. If I'm going to do it, it's best to try when young etc. I will make the relationship work (provided my GF still wants to).
I understand she's upset but it's not an entirely selfish act. I guess I just need general advice on how to help her through? I can cope because I know in 2 years I'll either be back here having failed or she'll be joining us there. How can I best help in the meantime?
Sorry it's so long-winded and complicated. was a mixture of catharsis and uncontrolled emotion.
Basically I'm in a great long-term relationship (4 years) and we've both just moved in together this year. Here's where it gets tricky. I'm in a relatively successful band - it was going before I joined so I'm not biased here - and are planning to move to London next September to try and make something of it. As I say this isn't some pipe-dream, I know it's tough but seriously think it is worth trying; we're not just a bunch of teenagers or men who think we're pretty good is what I'm trying to get at. It's a serious decision.
Now, (as the plot thickens) I'm a hydrologist by trade and am doing my MSc this year. I'm planning on getting a consultancy job in London. It's sustainable with the band as I'm currenly juggling my course and a pretty hectic schedule. Obv. if the band made it I'd have to reconsider things!
Anyway, I digress. My gf is in her first year of university and has 2 more to go and therefore won't be moving to London this year (hopefully in two). Now I'm FULLY COMMITTED to making the LDR work because she means everything to me and she supports the bands chance to make it. Problem is ever since we've started making arrangements for making the move my gf is really upset and is crying a lot of the time.
Obviously I feel really guilty and am unsure how best to console her. She wants me to tell her things about it etc and I'm trying my best but I'm worried it's going to affect her studies. At the same time its putting emotional stress on me but I know going is the right decision. If I'm going to do it, it's best to try when young etc. I will make the relationship work (provided my GF still wants to).
I understand she's upset but it's not an entirely selfish act. I guess I just need general advice on how to help her through? I can cope because I know in 2 years I'll either be back here having failed or she'll be joining us there. How can I best help in the meantime?
Sorry it's so long-winded and complicated. was a mixture of catharsis and uncontrolled emotion.
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Comments
Welcome to TheSite - only just noticed this thread - I'm sure other people who have been in LDR's will be able to share some wisdom on this.
My thoughts would be it might be worth seeing if your girlfriend would be willing to chat to others who have been in a similar situation - like could you see if she's be up for joining this website for instance?
If not, you could share the following with her:
Long distance loyalty
Left behind and lonely
It sounds like you have a really mature attitude to this and have your head on your shoulders. Best of luck with it and I hope everything works out for you.