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Can you know that someone is the one so soon?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've been in love before but I never really believed in the stuff about someone being so perfectly suited to you that you just knew. But the more time I spend with my other half the more I'm like ... yes this is it... and he feels the same way too.
We've only been together for a short time and we're not rushing into anything but we've talked about what we want for the future, our principles, stuff we would like to do and it all just matches. I can see myself growing old and grey with this person and I am so ecstatically happy. I don't doubt we'll have problems along the way and things will not always be as smooth as they are but it just feels so fucking right.
How long did it take you to know that your partner was "the one"?
We've only been together for a short time and we're not rushing into anything but we've talked about what we want for the future, our principles, stuff we would like to do and it all just matches. I can see myself growing old and grey with this person and I am so ecstatically happy. I don't doubt we'll have problems along the way and things will not always be as smooth as they are but it just feels so fucking right.
How long did it take you to know that your partner was "the one"?
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A lot of my friends (not close friends) keep going "Aren't you worried that it's all happening too fast? Omg, you are a bunny boiler etc" but we're both so happy, sod em!
sorry to be a pessimist but thats just the way i feel (probs cos i'm a fuck up in realstionships)
I don't know when I first thought that my boyfriend was 'the one' (if there is such a thing!) but there was definitely a point in time when I stopped thinking that we were going to inevitably break up at some point in time, felt much more secure about us, and we feel comfortable about talking about the future - what our next house will be like, having kids etc. I was definitely always very cautious in thinking about the future and daring to think that this might be 'for keeps' for a long time. I think it was about 7 months in that we first said we loved each other and for ages I was just living for the moment and going with the flow: I didn't want to have too many hopes for the future in case they got dashed. I was only 18 when we met, with no experience of any other relationship, it became long distance after about 3 months when my boyfriend graduated, and I was aware of the dodgy statistics on the success rates of long distance relationships....so I didn't really dare think he could be 'the one'. But here we are 8 and a half years on so
(Although despite my attempts at putting up barriers I probably secretly hoped this would be it from fairly early on
I think on the whole though that people are more comfortable about talking and thinking about the future when they are older. I am always amazed if I hear about my mates moving in with other half really quickly, but I suppose from your mid twenties you're more likely to want to settle down and not feel scared about committing to someone else, whereas at 18 thinking about stuff like that is crazy.
We're in our mid-20s, we've both been in relationships before. I've lived with someone and been on the brink of considering marriage before but that ended (luckily). We've both done our bit of pissing about, larking about and being young and silly. Now it's just a case I've found someone to be so silly with. Anybody that can make me laugh so hard that my legs buckle out from underneath me and I bump my head on the floor has got to do something special to me.
I've always been a very guarded person, I have picked some right old wronguns in the past and gone down some very bad roads but now everything just seems to be falling into place.
I wasn't even the one who said it, he said it first and the very fact that he could open himself up like that (he's never been a very mushy, gushy person whatsoever and his mates say he is a changed man) speaks volumes about how he feels.
All that and he stayed up all night once making sure I didn't swallow my own tongue. Haha.
If you're both adults, and as long as you don't do anything you can't undo (wouldn't recommend marriage or kids straight away), i don't see a problem. I think you should do what makes you happy :thumb:
EXACTLY. I've just re-read Brudget Jones' Diaries, and the dating ettiquette and unwritten rules that some people adhere to and it really is a massive pile of shit.
If you both want what's going on and you're happy with it then enjoy and fuck the rest
A couple of months later I got a letter, asking me how I felt and if I wanted to meet up again. "Hell, yes!"
October, started divorce proceedings. December, moved in together.
15 years later, we are still just as happy in each other's company as the day we met. These things can be instant. If your feelings really are that strong, trust your instinct.
I'm still fairly young and I'm not sure if I've ever felt I've met 'the one' in that sense. I've been happy with my previous partner, who I went out with for at least 18 months in total, and probably found at a time that spending the rest of my life with that girl would be appealing, but of course, things change. I've changed, she's changed, and some relationships just turn out not to stand the test of time.
But I'm not bitter about it, as I still met her. I still have some wonderful memories with her, and even though it it turned sour in the end, i wouldn't swap that for anything else. I wouldn't be who I am today as a person otherwise. I'd definitely grown up a fair bit and I feel I have ahve a better idea of who I'd like to meet next.
So it's onwards and upwards from there..... I don't know who I might end up with, but that just energises me.