gmw - dealing with terminal illness

Former Member

hello
i feel like i may need a little help right now. i don't seem to be handling the terminal illness of my younger sister very well, and i'm hoping someone out there may be able to help me understand why i feel i have to feel pain because i cannot help her. I have never felt like this before and it scares me. Please try to help me. Thank you. G

Former Member

Hey gmw, welcome to TheSite :wave:

I'm really sorry to hear that your sister is terminally ill, it must be a very difficult thing to deal with and no one will expect that you know how to cope with it. Posting here is a good step, writing things down and talking about how you're feeling can be a huge weight off your shoulders.

I'm going to move your post into the health & wellbeing forum as you're likely to get some more replies there

Former Member

hello
i'm sorry about your sister
okay first of all, don't be scared about your feelings. you may just need to find a better way to deal with them.
when my three year old nephew was sick in hospital i felt the need to self harm, i didn't know why at the time but now i understand that i wanted to balance out the pain he was going through, like if i made cuts in my skin one night, he wouldn't feel pain from having an operation or whatever the next day. I avoided going to the hospital because seeing him in pain and hooked up to all the machines made me feel so sorry for him, and i couldn't bear to see him like that. I felt that as someone who loves him i should be able to take the pain away for him, even if that meant having to feel pain myself. I now see thats this approach was futile, as I couldn't influence what he was going through at all by making myself feel pain, but at the time it made me feel like I was helping. once i realised this, i stopped self harming as much and instead spent every day at the hospital, making an extra effort to help him and his mother i.e. by getting his lunches for him and carrying them to his room, reading him a bedtime story every night etc. and i found that this not only made me feel better but gave me a lot less time to self harm.
this might be the case for you, i'm not sure.
what i'm trying to say is that there are a lot of other things you can do to control your feelings.
i'm sorry if i have misunderstood the situation completely, please feel free to correct me and i would also appreciate it if you could explain your situation a bit more so i can try my best to help you.

i hope you're okay >.<


tash
xxxx

Former Member

i'm so so sorry. i can't imagine how you feel, not even close.

does your sister have nurses or occupational therapists or anything? they might have the numbers for some organisations that could help you. if you are at school or college you can access some counselling there or you can go to your GP who can advise you. there are people who are there to help you.

what about your family? how are they coping? do you support eachother? maybe when you get chance you could tell us a bit more about what is happening?

thinking of you
x