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We Want To Get Pregnant
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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You and your boyfriend dont even live in the same country at the moment, how do you know you've be able to stand each others company basically 24/7 while also bringing up and small, screaming child. How will you be financially stable?
Having a baby at 19 is very different to having one at 15, and bringing up a child is very different to looking after someone elses.
The fact of the matter is that for your age, its a big big gap. He is an adult and you are barely adolescent. You are at different stages of life. This is why hes starting to think of settling down having babies etc, when you really shouldnt be thinking of that sort of thing for quite a few years yet, and he shouldnt even be putting those sort of ideas into your head.
its a wonderfully romantic idea to have a baby with someone youre really into, but unfortunatly the reality is very different. Its a long distance relationship for a start. Youve got a huge age gap. Youre legally underage. You havent finished your education and it would be a real shame to give up on that since you say youre quite smart.
Having children is really really hard. Take it from me. I have 3 and im more than twice your age. Its not a decision that you can make, and then if you dont like it you can change your mind. Thats it for life.
Having a baby at 15 or 16 is an insane idea. Thats not what your youth should be all about.
I didnt mean to insult either of you and imply that he's some twisted paedophile. Just because the law says you can get married and have a family at 16 (which by the way, legally, you are still a child), and that your body has been ready since about 12/13, does that mean you should be throwing away your education, oppurtunities for life experiences, being free and independent?
Maybe try to look at this outside of yourself. Imagine your best friend, 15 years old, in love with a 23 year old from Ireland, who maybe barely ever sees him (I dont know, im guessing), who wants to start a family with him. Imagine you did have a baby and when she gets to 15 she wants to do the exact same thing? What would you say to them?
of course from your point of view it seems like its going to work and be amazing and life will be perfect, but the problem is, even fully grown, fully emotionally mature adults cant always make it work, and not to be patronising, but at 15/16 theres still a lot of hormones flying about you, doing all sorts of crazy things
There is a big difference between managing to make it work, and getting through the day ok, to actually having a good life and enjoying your days.
Its the difference between a decent life and a miserable existence.
having someones baby will not make them stay with you. it will not make you more important to him in the long term.
If he loves you, then he will wait. You NEED to wait.
Its cute to talk about the future and what it might bring. Thats ONE thing. But please dont rush it all forward before its necessary.
At 23, he ought to be mature enough to be trying to talk you OUT of the idea!
Sorry, hun, but this is a BAD idea.
okay i understand what you are saying, but i just want it so badly, i can barely sleep thinking about it. i know i'm being stupid, but i just don't know how to not want it >.<
Well, it takes two to make a baby and if he really cares about what is best for you, he won't allow you to fall pregnant.
As a mater of interest, did you grow up in a home where your every need was supplied? Did you get all the latest clothes, toys etc and lots of pocket money? ((This is a serious question))
I think its natural for burgeoning young women to feel like that. You aren't feeling more than most other girls do at your age. You are a 'baby factory' after all. But most understand that they need to gain a good eductaion, job etc before they bring a new life into the world.
Remember, your baby only stays small for a short while. In a few years, it will be a brat and maturity is required here to ensure that you can cope with it accordingly.
okay i understand that maybe we should put it off for a while, but its just hard not to keep thinking about it and wondering what it would be like >.<
This quote makes me wonder...
Have you actually met this man yet?
If he lives in Ireland and you live in England, how exactly is he your boyfriend?
I was giving you the benefit of the doubt right up til this post. I know it's absolutely possible for this kind of relationship to be genuine (it's rare, but possible) but if you haven't met him you have NO IDEA who he really is. Webcams don't show you who a person is, just what they look like. He could well have string of young girls just like you all believing the same thing.
Please don't think about getting pregnant by someone you've never met until you've met and spent a LOT of time with him. You may think you love him but the truth is you love the idea of who you believe that he is. That won't change until you've met him properly and had a PROPER relationship.
You have your whole life ahead of you. Babies shouldn't even be on the horizon yet.
You need to live together for a while before you even think about having babies.
But look. The point is, you hardly know each other. You've got no idea what kind of a husband or father he would make, or even whether he's really boyfriend material. Slow down, take it easy, what's the hurry to race ahead to babies when you haven't even kissed him yet?
And no matter what you may think, blinded by infatuation as you are... it is a bit dubious that a 23 year old man is spending his time chatting to 15 year olds on line and mentally planning to impregnate them. Why can't he get a woman his own age? In his own town?
Spot on. Nail on the head. Etc.
Please take our advice - we're older and a tiny bit wiser, and most of us have made these mistakes before you so we know what we're talking about.
All anybody is saying is be careful and don't let the idea of being in love cloud your judgement.