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Feel So Guilty...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am 22, and I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now.
Last night I was out and ended up going back to another mans apartment. We didn't have sex, but I know we would have if we'd had condoms.
I've never done anything like this before and feel so confused, guilty and awful. I love my boyfriend but feel a bit bored I guess, even though I know that's not an excuse for what I did.
I don't want to be with this other man and now I'm not sure if I should stay with my boyfriend because he deserves so much better than this.
I don't want my boyfriend to ever find out about this as it would hurt him so much. I don't know if I should suggest going on a break for a while or something, but I wouldn't know what excuse to give for wanting a break.
I'm so confused and don't know why I did what I did, any advice would be really helpful, thanks x
Last night I was out and ended up going back to another mans apartment. We didn't have sex, but I know we would have if we'd had condoms.
I've never done anything like this before and feel so confused, guilty and awful. I love my boyfriend but feel a bit bored I guess, even though I know that's not an excuse for what I did.
I don't want to be with this other man and now I'm not sure if I should stay with my boyfriend because he deserves so much better than this.
I don't want my boyfriend to ever find out about this as it would hurt him so much. I don't know if I should suggest going on a break for a while or something, but I wouldn't know what excuse to give for wanting a break.
I'm so confused and don't know why I did what I did, any advice would be really helpful, thanks x
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Comments
this has been a wakeup call for you.
Dont leave him out of guilt. Leave him if this has made you think you dont want him anymore.
If this has made you realise you DO actually want him after all, then just let it be the reality check you needed, and work at your relationship
The difference in your personal growth between that 17 year old girl back then, and a 22 year old woman now, can be a big one. You're not the same person you were back then. Your priorities and attitudes have probably changed a lot and you have no doubt matured immensely.
And so I would approach it from that angle. You could say that you need the space just to re-evaluate your life and consider your future without the distraction of being in a relationship for now.
It's a far better thing that he experiences any possible hurt and rejection now rather than in a few years time if you keep quiet and possibly end up marrying him.
If there are any doubts in your head, you need to take a break because if things do not work out, at least he has been given the earliest opportunity to get on with his life.
Regarding your incident with the other guy? Don't say anything to your boyfriend. It won't solve anything and you didn't actually have sex with him. But it sounds like a wake-up call to you that you are not currently happy. Remember, this life is just a 'one shot' experience so your own happiness needs to be considered.
Good luck!