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when do u know its time to go
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i have had a weird relationship for near 2 years now.we love each other but there wasnt a closeness ther, we werent free with each other. he,s a muslim and a bachelor and very set in his ways and everything is just so and everything is his way. i accepted that up until 6 months ago when i wanted more commitment and togetherness and started to air my opinions, he didnt like this and jus said that there was no problems, we hardly be out in public, shopping bout 5 times in 2 yr but we b to niteclubs on regular basis which he never left my side and seemed to own me. his friends always come first and when i asked him to come to mine 4 xmas he said he had to stay with his 3 friends at home cos they were his family now. such was my frustrations i am ashamed i cheated on him with a lovely guy who was a best friend we are still in contact but not physically. when me and my bf relationship was reeal bad i cut down the time i seen him as i didnt know what to do, durin that time i found out he was ringin another girl, he never met her but wanted to, when confronted he said he was ringin for his friend but i was talkin to the girl and she says that it was my bf who ws ringin her and lookin to meet up, i kno i cant complain really cos im worse than him, he promised he never cheated on me and its me he loves and begged us to stay together, he said i am the only woman in the world he wants but he cant change his ways...he has a friend who is married but as a muslim he dates other women as well( i stress i not sayn this applies to all muslims sorry) and his wife is cool about this so this has got me thinkin has my bf secretly been in contact with other women all along and i didnt know it, problem is i love this guy soooo much and just cant be without him but i know the relationship is all 1 way, he wont talk about him ringin the other girl and just said its not up for discusssion and thats that, he dosent c any problems in the relationship and thinks we av nothin to worry about and just carry on as before. theres so much missing but why do i love him so much and cant be without him, he hurts me emotionally so much but i still need to hang on to him, if i leave him the thought of him bein with some 1 else wud kill me, he a good lukin guy so he wudnt be alone for long,,,i know i cant go on like this as theres so much life to be enjoyed and i deserv so much more but i just CANT break it off, the other guy has offered me everthing and say he wait for me to make my decision and i would want for nothin and altho i would lov totry it and c, my bf said if i ever finished with him he would never take me bk...then all would be lost. why do i want to stay with this guy when i have no voice and everything is wrong.......other peoples veiws greatly appreciated
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Comments
Security? Dependancy? I think the fact that you're asking yourself this question (and that you cheated) says a lot.
It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me. I understand that there are cultural differences which may be playing a part, but I was brought up to believe that a relationship should be equal between two people, and my own personal experience is that without open communication things are doomed.
My advice? Walk away with your head held high, and find somebody who appreciates you. If he cares enough to realise what he's lost, he'll come to you and find a way to make it work. :yes: