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Date gone wrong because of pickup lines

Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
There used to be a thread here about funny pickup lines,and I'd said I'd find the transcript from an episode of a TV series that concerned them. It took long, but I found it. So here is a brief description.

This guy is about to go on a date, but he's nervous. His roommate suggests some pickup lines:

-Amazing clothes. I imagine them dropped on the floor next to my bed.

-Was your father a thief? Because he stole all the sky's stars and put them in your eyes!

-Are you tired? Because you were in my dreams all night!

-Is the sun up? Or did you just smile at me?

They also have the following conversation:

-The other day, Mimis said something to this woman, and she was in his house in 10 minutes.
-What did he tell her?
-"I have cable TV."
-And she took the bait?
-Like crazy! She grabbed him and said "Let's go to your place!"
-Ha! Yeah, but we don't have cable TV.
-Are you crazy? Mimis doesn't even have a TV!

Later on, this guy's on the date and after a few awkward silences, he decides to use some of these lines. The conversations follow:

-I have cable!
-You have what??
-Cable, TV.
-(relief) The way you said it, I thought you meant some disease!

-You're wearing nice clothes.
-You like them?
-I imagine them-
-I got them in the sales.
-I imagine them-
-They're very comfortable, go get some too!
-(annoyed) I imagine them on the chair, ne-
-On the chair?
-No wait, that's wrong. I meant on the floor, ne-
-You imagine my clothes on the floor?
-...Never mind, forget it.
-You get off at clothes on the floor?
-Never mind, I tell you... I meant to say something else.

-Are you tired?
-I'm beat. You can tell, huh? I've been running around since morning...
-...

-Just do me a favour, smile at me!
-(scared)No, I can't, impossible!
-Come on, please! I won't ask anything else of you!
(pause, then she smiles and is missing a tooth)
-I've come from the dentist. I took my canine tooth out.

Was your father a thief?
-(spits drink) How do you know?
-No, I don't know anything! I, I meant...
-You know about my father! I'll explain, it's all lies! He was working for that telephone company and was wrongfully accused of stealing!
-No, no, I meant...
-It's a setup! It will be proven in court too! My father is innocent!
-No, you misunderstood! I...
-(picking stuff up, everyone staring) You could have asked from the beginning! What were you waiting for? (leaves angrily)

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