Ex troubles

Former Member

Why is it when I get a date with a nice girl, something has to go and spoil it? In this case it's in the form of my clingy ex.
I have a date tomorrow night with a nice girl I met in my local SU. Everything was going great with her and I saw her this afternoon so I thought I'd have a chat with her to make sure we are still on for tomorrow night. She said yes and continued to chat to me. She is really funny and we were having a laugh until I look over her shoulder and see somebody walking towards me. My ex.
An awkward moment if there ever was one.
I thought I'd intorduce them to each other, but turns out they already know each other. Hmmmm... when we were together she never mentioned to me that she had a step sister!
All the girls I ever go out with are liars. Why does this happen to me?

Anyway, while the three of us were having a cosy little chat, my ex thought she'd explain to her sister that I was the guy who she had been moaning about for the past 3 months. What an advertisement that was for me. After that, she then proceeded to tell us both that she still loves me and if I ever thought about going out with another girl while she still has these feelings for me, then I'm heartless and she will make both of our lives hell.
Psycho much?

I am seriously thinking about giving up on women all together...

Former Member

Andy Pandy wrote: »

she then proceeded to tell us both that she still loves me and if I ever thought about going out with another girl while she still has these feelings for me, then I'm heartless and she will make both of our lives hell.

If an ex said that to me i'd probably not be able to hold my tongue as well as it sounds you have. Getting with someone else while she still likes you is not heartless its just unrequited love on her part and thats her problem that she needs to deal with. Sounds like you're better off a long way away from this nutter tbh.

Former Member

icey wrote: »

If an ex said that to me i'd probably not be able to hold my tongue as well as it sounds you have. Getting with someone else while she still likes you is not heartless its just unrequited love on her part and thats her problem that she needs to deal with. Sounds like you're better off a long way away from this nutter tbh.

Yeah hence how she is my ex.
I realised pretty quickly that she wasn't the girl for me. No wonder when she behaves like that.
:grump:
x Andy

Former Member

Could she be bluffing, and actually won't do anything?

Former Member

notanotherusername! wrote: »

Could she be bluffing, and actually won't do anything?

Well possibly. But I wouldn't put it past her.
She is a pretty crazy bitch.
I can say that about her without feeling bad because she has put me through so much shit.
x Andy

Former Member

Do you know why she's acting like this? Without knowing her it's hard to know how you could deal with this. You should talk to her step sister about it because she's probably the best person to help her to move on from on the relationship. Other than that I think you should stay away from her and her step sister and try to minimise contact with both of them.

Former Member

Naturegoddess wrote: »

Do you know why she's acting like this? Without knowing her it's hard to know how you could deal with this. You should talk to her step sister about it because she's probably the best person to help her to move on from on the relationship. Other than that I think you should stay away from her and her step sister and try to minimise contact with both of them.

That was my plan. So my date tomorrow was obviously ruined after that.
But I'm not too sure why she does it. She's always been a little crazy like that.
I have to give it to her, she gives an awesome first impression.
x Andy

Former Member

She does seem a lil bit crazy.

But maybe she is trying to test you, i mean if she still likes you then to her mucking up any date you have only leaves her for you...?

...which is kinda werid

Former Member

If acting like that has always given her whatever she wanted in the past you'll probably just need to give it time. It kind of sounds like she's trying to make you feel guilty or trying to have some kind of control over you. It doesn't sound like she'd actually do anything, or she might say something like that again and realise its not working so she'll move on with her life.

Former Member

Hmmm... my only advice would be to ignore her, until she gets fed up?
but i guess that might backfire if she needs the attention..

arg! hard situation

Former Member

She is a total spoilt little brat. So she always gets what she wants.
I'm staying as far away from her as I can.
I hate it how she can get away with stuff like that.
x Andy

Former Member

skakitty wrote: »

Hmmm... my only advice would be to ignore her, until she gets fed up?
but i guess that might backfire if she needs the attention..

arg! hard situation

yeah, i say ignore her and get on with things like it hasn't even happened. Then to her it looks like you don't care, she might put up a bit of resistance but if you still ignore her then she is likely to get the picture and leave you alone.

Former Member

notanotherusername! wrote: »

yeah, i say ignore her and get on with things like it hasn't even happened. Then to her it looks like you don't care, she might put up a bit of resistance but if you still ignore her then she is likely to get the picture and leave you alone.

Hope so.
Thanks guys!
x Andy

Former Member

OK she just phoned me like 10minutes ago.
Man that girl can push my buttons.
She started to beg for us to get back together but I wasn't having it. As always, she wouldn't take no for an answer.
Eventually I just said very firmly "Leave me alone and don't talk to me. The sooner you're out of my life the sooner I can be happy again. Don't you understand I don't want to be with you? You make me so unbelievably unhappy. Just leave me alone!"
It was needed to be said, but now I feel awful.
I shouldn't have spoken to her like that.
She just fell silent and hung up.
Oh God I'm going to hell. And if I don't, I'm sure she'll see to it.

Did I do the right thing?????
x Andy

Former Member

in a word? yes. She can't continue to get away with trying to manipulate you, and she needed to be told straight out that you won't put up with it! It doesn't sound like you were rude to her, just firm. well done.

Former Member

skakitty wrote: »

in a word? yes. She can't continue to get away with trying to manipulate you, and she needed to be told straight out that you won't put up with it! It doesn't sound like you were rude to her, just firm. well done.

Thank you.
Have to say it was bloody difficult, but it is actually a bit of a relief.
So long I've wanted to tell her to F... erm Fuff off.
I didn't actually use those words but you get the point
x Andy

Former Member

I dont think that was harsh, you were just being firm and telling her straight

Former Member

PreciousAndLoveIt wrote: »

Yeah I think you did the right thing. Even if it was hard. Well Done x

Thanks
x Andy

Former Member

PreciousAndLoveIt wrote: »

Yeah I think you did the right thing. Even if it was hard. Well Done x

Hmmm Precious, I was thinking. I think I might know you from somewhere?
Maybe not because I don't actually know anything about you.
Long shot I think but it'd be pretty awesome if you were who I think you are
x Andy

Former Member

You've definitely done the right thing by being firm! Think you need to start keeping your distance even more now, by ignoring her phone calls and not responding to emails or Fb messages. She is attempting to get a reaction out of you and the mature person (that's you!) will just leave it. You can be civil/polite to her if you see her around (assume you're at uni together as you said you were in the SU?), but don't be the one to initiate any contact. If it's unrequited love on her part, she's got her feelings to deal with on her own and not prevent you getting with someone else, but you've also got to be a bit tactful/respectful, and don't just rub a new relationship in her face.

A small consideration though - what's the deal with her and her step-sister? How did you meet your new girl? The fact that they're family seems a bit coincidental, no? Could the step-sister just be using you to get at her if there's bad feeling between them?
I don't want to sound suspicious by the way; just make sure you don't end up caught as a pawn in their games. All the best with it x

Former Member

Luce wrote: »

A small consideration though - what's the deal with her and her step-sister? How did you meet your new girl? The fact that they're family seems a bit coincidental, no? Could the step-sister just be using you to get at her if they're got bad feeling between them?
I don't want to sound suspicious by the way; just make sure you don't end up caught as a pawn in their games. All the best with it x

Yeah well that's exactly what I thought! I'm sure it must have been planned or something.
I was with my ex for almost a year and she told me she had a brother, which I knew about, but I only ever met her mum. She told me about her dad leaving her mum and having a new wife but she never said anything else about it and I didn't ever want to bring it up.
I met my ex in a club, because she doesn't go to uni, but I met her sister in my SU. From what I can gather they get on all right, but then it's weird how they didn't tell me about each other.
Either way I'm steering clear of both of them.
And thanks.
x Andy

Former Member

That would be well werid if you knew each other!

Former Member

notanotherusername! wrote: »

That would be well werid if you knew each other!

How would it?
I might know you but have just forgotten! You never know lol
Haha but I think it might be her... although I've been wrong about things like that before.
x Andy

Former Member

It would just be strange, even though it has happened to me! and it just makes you think what a small world it is!

You never know! we could be neigbours! haha

Former Member

notanotherusername! wrote: »

It would just be strange, even though it has happened to me! and it just makes you think what a small world it is!

You never know! we could be neigbours! haha

Hahah I hope so :thumb:
x Andy

Former Member

I could help you with your scottish slang.

Former Member

notanotherusername! wrote: »

I could help you with your scottish slang.

Oh aye that'd be grand!
Get me sorted oot like!
Haha that wasn't meant to sound bad btw lol!
x Andy

Former Member

haha. Sure it wasnae. Ye hae tae wark oan it a wee bit mair tho

Former Member

notanotherusername! wrote: »

haha. Sure it wasnae. Ye hae tae wark oan it a wee bit mair tho

Hahaha
Holy coo that wis a wee bit loopy. I deh hink ma slang wis that bad really bit i hae a wee feelin its no tae braw...

That honestly feels like I'm speaking a foreign language, and you have no idea how many times I had to read that thread for it to make sense! haha
x Andy

Former Member

lol, its a good job i dont really talk like that! well i suppose i kinda do but i have never said "oan, mair or ye" before lol

Former Member

notanotherusername! wrote: »

lol, its a good job i dont really talk like that! well i suppose i kinda do but i have never said "oan, mair or ye" before lol

Yes I guess it is!
I'm still not completely sure what that is meant to say but I'm having a wild guess haha
This thread is just turning into a conversation now lol
It's quite fun.
x Andy