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Uni Housemates

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Basically, I've come back to uni after a few years out (due to illness) to finish my course. So, its been a couple of years and I'm not really in touch with any of the people I used to know here, so I've had to get a shared house with people I dont know. I'm nervous enough about starting again after so long, although the people here (in the house that I'm living in) aren't outwardly rude, they are very much keep themselves to themselves. I know its not personal because its amongst everyone, so I know I'm not being singled out or anything, but it just makes the house a very lonely place to be, and I cant help but find it disheartening that people wait for you to go to your room before they come out of theirs etc. I find it to be quite lonely and anti-social environment. I really want to make friends here, but at the moment I cant afford to join any societies as I'm broke at the moment. I'm looking for a part time job, but havent found anything just yet, as I've only been here for over a week. I'm stuck for ideas about what to do until my course starts on Monday. I'm also worried that unless I find a job soon, I wont be able to afford to join societies so less opportunity for meeting other people. I'm not really sure what to do as feeling a bit isolated and the mentality here seems to be 'housemates dont make friends with each other, only with people outside the house'. I find that a bit strange to be honest. Any ideas would be much appreciated.


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe you need to be the one to break the ice and they are all just shy. is there one of them you feel comfortable with asking out for drinks or anything? i'm really sorry to hear about the societies thing, when does your course start? i know i met all of my close friends through the course i am studying. we bonded over that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Uni Housemates

    Hi Clementine
    Thanks for your reply, I see what you're saying but I feel as though I've made the effort to be friendly on many occasions, and it seems that the housemates seem to be stuck in the routine of not speaking to one another, and depressingly, they seem to enjoy it being that way- I've tried but I cant physically rope people out of their rooms into conversation, it seems as though the house in the thrall of everyone's 'disconnect' mentality. I dont know, perhaps they have had bad experiences with other housemates, and they are sceptical about the whole housemate thing- I know I've had a few bad experiences, but despite that I still dont like to write people off.
    Maybe thats not what it is. I really dont know. I'm nearly past caring, as we move into week 2 and nearly no conversations. I'm almost at the point now where I'm thinking why bother when I'll meet friendly people at uni and elsewhere who actually care about getting to know me. I just hate not being able to talk to anyone here, I know I'll have friends over and stuff but what about when I dont? I just imagine it to be as depressing and as lonely as it is now. I dont know, Im trying to stay positive bt difficult with big money issues as well and I just feel as though my housemates are deliberately being ignorant and rude, I feel so shunned I really do hate it.
    I dont know, I've applied to loads of jobs recently so Im hoping to hear back from more soon. On the bright side I have an interview tomorrow and my course starts Monday, so I'm hoping this means things will get better soon. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    good luck for your interview :) yeah i think you'll feel less isolated once you start your course.

    it seems strange about your housemates, all you can do really is continue being nice. they may decide to pop out of their shells soon :)

    do you have a living room? or a communal room? it's a good idea to plonk yourself there. telly is usually a good conversation opener.
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