Help?

Former Member

Ok so I dont usually post in this section but I have a problem....I went travelling with a friend this summer and when I say friend I mean more of a friend of a friend....We both moved abroad to try and find teaching work but to of no avail....While we where away, we became very close (not sexually), she told me how she had been raped not that long ago and how she was getting over it.....we talked about evrything and a very strong friendship was made...

Then when we came back home I had a party with her and some friends...The next morning we woke up naked beside each other and we werent able to remember much......" weeks passed and talk between us had been minimal...The next time we where out together we meet up and she said she missed me, and we ended up sleeping with each other again.....But since then she has avoided me, and is not talking properly to me, (which is wierd and noticable as we have the same friends)

So I know that she probably needs space and time to think but im afraid if it goes any longer we will just drift apart and our friendship will drift with it....

Any ideas?

Former Member

The first thing is to distance yourself from the situations which lead to sex. She clearly isn't ready for a sexual relationship yet and it's no surprise this is the case. Reassure her you miss her, that you're her friend, she means a lot to you and you want to know she's happy and getting on. She may feel awkward and embarrassed about seeing you again considering what happened between you and what you know about her. Just reassure her you care and want to know how she's doing. Give her time.

Former Member

I don't necessarily think that she's 'not ready' for a relationship yet, but you do need to find out where you stand.

If you have feelings for her, talk with her and explain how you feel. It's better to get everything out in the open rather than trying to guess what the other person's feeling. She could be wanting to distance herself from sex. She might also be wanting to distance herself from you because of what you know. If you don't take the time to talk with her then you will never know what it is.