heart break

Former Member

how long does it take to get over having your heart broken??

Former Member

4 weeks and 2 days.

Former Member

There really isnt a certain time, it can be however long.

Former Member

Keka wrote: »

how long does it take to get over having your heart broken??

There is no definitive answer (a few weeks to a year or more) but it DOES get better. Just hang in there. *hugs*

Former Member

Hey Keka :wave: As the others rightly say it really depends, it can be different for everyone. A good place to start is to utilise all your support networks, friends, family, whoever it might be. Keeping busy and distracting yourself from the desire to curl up in a corner will help you to move on. Have a look at our article on mending a broken heart, it's got some useful advice and links to other articles about moving on and looking after yourself.

Take care

Former Member

I'm currently at 4 months and the object of my affections is getting married to his long-term fiance in a short space of time (1 month and a 1/2) so it's really over and there's no chance of going back...

Yes I should have known not to get involved with a guy so, well, unavailable but I listened to my heart not my head and got too involved in a sticky situation. Now I'm in agony.

Former Member

If I'm reading your post right, you got involved with an engaged guy? Pity the poor woman marrying the guy and think yourself lucky you aren't still involved with a cheat, your relationship would never have worked.

Former Member

I'm at 8 months following an 20 month relationship, and although i date I still think about him sometimes when I am more vulnerable, like when my grandfather died recently.
But with time I realised (and you will too) that what I was missing wasn't actually him, (there were reasons we broke up and it wouldn't have been so painful if he weren't such a cripplingly selfish person), what I miss sometimes is the idea of him - of having someone to share my life with and to be there for me.
Think about the reasons you broke up, how it was in the last few weeks compared to the first few. It doesn't feel like it now but how you deal with heartbreak does a lot to define who you are in later life. You will be a stronger, wiser person for it and more able to decide who really is right for you.

Former Member

Took me close to 5 years, though you'll not really want to hear that...

It does vary. Different people, different things...

Former Member

Evenstar wrote: »

I'm at 8 months following an 20 month relationship, and although i date I still think about him sometimes when I am more vulnerable, like when my grandfather died recently.
But with time I realised (and you will too) that what I was missing wasn't actually him, (there were reasons we broke up and it wouldn't have been so painful if he weren't such a cripplingly selfish person), what I miss sometimes is the idea of him - of having someone to share my life with and to be there for me.
Think about the reasons you broke up, how it was in the last few weeks compared to the first few. It doesn't feel like it now but how you deal with heartbreak does a lot to define who you are in later life. You will be a stronger, wiser person for it and more able to decide who really is right for you.

Couldnt have said it better myself, this is exactly how i feel at times. Every time you think of him, think about the bad things about him rather than the good. It might take a while but you wil get over him.

Former Member

One thing I did, that i found helped when i was feeling vulnerable, is write an in-depth list of his faults, like *was selfish with regard to sharing food* or *never really listened to me* or... *cheated on me with a skanky ho in america and flew out to see her 2 weeks after 'breaking up' with me...* y'know... general stuff...

Former Member

Fruit Loop wrote: »

If I'm reading your post right, you got involved with an engaged guy? Pity the poor woman marrying the guy and think yourself lucky you aren't still involved with a cheat, your relationship would never have worked.

Yep that's right... and I even (though somewhat misguidedly) attempted to tell the girl what kind of guy she's letting herself in for, but of course I was the slut.. and then he managed to convince her I made it up. I understand her completely though, because I got cheated on and my first instinct wasn't to get rid of my pathetic boyfriend, but to start a hate campaign against the girl he cheated on me with... I only realised 1 year later that our relationship was dead and I couldn't trust him anymore, and finished with him.

Former Member

skakitty wrote: »

One thing I did, that i found helped when i was feeling vulnerable, is write an in-depth list of his faults, like *was selfish with regard to sharing food* or *never really listened to me* or... *cheated on me with a skanky ho in america and flew out to see her 2 weeks after 'breaking up' with me...* y'know... general stuff...

Every day that passes I think of another thing he did to hurt me, and it makes it easier. I also tell myself when I think that I miss him, that I don't miss him, just the person he was once... or rather the person I thought he was, if that makes sense.

Former Member

as everyone says, unfortunately you can't put a time limit on this kinda thing, god i wish you could. i was in a relationship a few years back, me and my partner were together 5 yrs the suddenly, out of nowhere it was over. i took me just over a year to finally get over her. was the worst year of my life but the day i finally managed to get over her was perhaps the best day of my life im currently going through a bad break up right now and even though i've been here before and got through it, it doesn't mean it hurts any less. but as everyone says, with each passing day, it does get easier, whether you want it to or not. just keep your chin up and remember, if its meant to be it won't pass you by.....god i wish i was able to take my own advice :eek2:

Former Member

God I don't think I'll ever get over mine! It will ease over time though definitely... but whether you'll get over it completely I can't say. Good luck though, if you really did love him you would accept his choices. I know it is VERY hard- but as others and myself have said, it will ease. Promise.
C-A x

Former Member

thanks for your help. i had a rough time... begging and pleading for him to just see sense and be with me. its hard and frustrating realising, that loving someone doesn't make them love you! but also, it helps you realise that real love only exsists two ways, it's about partnership and companionship, not worshipping someone! this monday my ex got married, i saw the photos on his facebook and wished him good luck with every thing and said that if he was happy, so was i. he hated that! and said i had been pathetic and had pissed him off completely with my begging... i apologised and said i had seen sense and was off with a new job to start a new life somewhere else, without bitterness! response - you're so immature. have fun. i feel like i came out of it the bigger person and it gives me a little bit of satisfaction knowing they probably wont be happy and it probably wont last... if you cheat on your girlfriend, and emotionally too, after 8 years, you're unlikely to have a lasting marriage...

i'm trying to get him out of my memory anyway.

Former Member

You've only learnt about this the hard way. Now you've decided to start moving on then that's good. There's no set time but at least now it'll eventually happen.