How would you feel if...

Former Member

Just wanted opinions really...

How would you feel if your mate pulled your ex boyfriend/girlfriend?

Would you not be bothered because you don't want them anymore, so anyone can have 'em! Or would you consider it breaking a golden friendship rule; don't pull a mate's ex. Not sure what to clarify 'pulled' as, anything from kissing to sex I guess.

Former Member

I guess that there is a thing as the golden rule, friends been true enough to avoid you any anguish. Though if you are truly over someone, why should it be a problem, it might be weird etc but if there are no feelings anymore, wouldnt you just want everyone to be happy?

I guess its one of those things that can depend entirely on the situation and the circumstances.

Former Member

MrG wrote: »

I guess its one of those things that can depend entirely on the situation and the circumstances.

:yes:

Former Member

MrG wrote: »

I guess its one of those things that can depend entirely on the situation and the circumstances.

Yup. I think if the ex was just a short term thing/only a one night stand and not very important then it wouldnt matter so much. However, a long term relationship is a big no. I know i wouldnt appreciate it if any of my friends went out with any of my exes,

Former Member

If it's mutually agreed between all parties, I don't see a problem.

Former Member

It wouldn't bother me, especially if they let me join in.

Former Member

I'd feel very uncomfortable if a "friend" told me who I could and could not date... on the other hand I couldn't imagine wanting to date a persons ex because as a friend, what do you talk about? The worst of the worst of that guy of course. Why would you want that

Former Member

like mrG said, it depends.

I'm not sure about the golden rule thing. If someone who fucks everything what moves would be on about my ex and I still like her (in a non-romantical way), I would be a bit pissed, but if a good friend of mine fell in love with her I'd tell him to go for it.

I'm in the process of falling in love with a good mate's ex and while I didn't talk to him about it, I think he SHOULD grant me that.

Former Member

Lexi99 wrote: »

However, a long term relationship is a big no. I know i wouldnt appreciate it if any of my friends went out with any of my exes,

For arguments sake, would you you still feel that way if they got together 10 years after you had split up?

Former Member

Hmm, i dont know really. Basing this on my first bf, I'd tell them to stay away from him since he's an utter wanker. Maaaaybe I could get used to the idea if it wasnt rubbed in my face.

Former Member

To be honest here...if it is an ex boyfriend or friend whatever the case maybe it should be ok in my eyes as you no longer are friends or have that person for a boyfriend unless you still have feelings for them and maybe jealous of them both ways.

Former Member

Well its happened to me before and i was a bit upset, but at the end of the day you know the old saying 'chicks before dicks' so i said to her if he made her happy and she wanted to be with him, thats fine by me, but i warned her about him, and she saw sense.

Former Member

i think friends shouldnt date your ex's...the reason is that you know what they are really like and if you tried to tell them they would see it as you interfering and if you left them too it then ya mate wud be why didnt you warn me.

i would also be annoyed because my friend wud know how i felt about that person and her doing that would show to me she didnt really care about me or my feelings at all.

Former Member

Tr4shed wrote: »

The last guy who did that go thrown through a window. No ones done it again.

jesus bit of an overreaction mate!

I agree I wouldn't ever mess with a mate's ex, and I probably wouldn't stay friends with someone who messed with mine. Even if it was ten years later. I probably wouldn't care if it was a brief fling but a long term bf ex I don't think I'd ever be ok with it.

Former Member

Tr4shed wrote: »

The last guy who did that go thrown through a window. No ones done it again.

There is one RULE, huge one. Do go near your mates ex's - enless they don't give a crap.

Honestly - you are NOT the person to be prattling on about rules. :yeees:

Former Member

Id stay away unless its totally buried under the water and my friend was okay with it, it could spring up lots of problems.

Former Member

Id be screwing big time.
In my opinion it out of order,with so many women out there why go after a mates ex or he after yours?

I doubt Id stay friends with someone who did that to me.

Former Member

Tr4shed wrote: »

I follow them all now

Yeah, right. Until the next time.

Former Member

Tr4shed wrote: »

The last guy who did that go thrown through a window. No ones done it again.

You ever thought of having therapy ? You must have some serious anger issues.

Former Member

Pretty mixed opinions then :chin:

Former Member

MrG wrote: »

I guess its one of those things that can depend entirely on the situation and the circumstances.

:yes:

Although I do think generally 'pulling' between friends and exes should not happen.

Former Member

Erm, I think it'd depend on the circumstances. If it was someone who'd been there whilst I'd been with the ex, I'm not sure I'd be too impressed, but mainly because I'd wonder why on earth they'd put themselves through what I had. Sorry if that comes across as bitter, I'm still working on that one (on a side note, I think I may have met the new Mr Aniseed ) back on topic, if it wasn't someone who had known my ex when I'd known them or if it had been a one night stand, I'd warn them about any negatives I'd found but leave them to it. That's the case with a friend of mine whose boyfriend assaulted me last year...

Former Member

I've always stuck with the same opinion
your ex is not yours. the friend rule is silly, there's a reason they're your ex
if it happens, be happy for them

Former Member

pretty bang out of order in my opinion but i am a little biased. happened to me few yrs back, was with her for 5yrs, we split and suddenly she was dating my 'best friend' not a nice feeling to get stabbed in the back like that