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lost sex drive :(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
the last three months or so i have completely lost the urge to have sex. Its doing my head in and making me feel awful for my partner. What could cause this?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmm well.... maybe you just need a break? I'm sure she will understand if you explain to her you arent really in the mood! Why not go for a meal out or cook a meal for both of you as a treat and maybe it'll help you get the urge back??
    C-A xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nicebutdim23 wrote: »
    the last three months or so i have completely lost the urge to have sex. Its doing my head in and making me feel awful for my partner. What could cause this?

    Hugs - I've been through this too and know how awful it can make you feel, unfortunately the more you beat yourself up about it the less you feel like actually having sex...it's a vicious circle. Lots of things can be the cause of it, are you stressed about anything at the moment? Work, family or relationship problems can all be triggers. How about your self-esteem? I often find if I'm feeling low in confidence about my body/image that makes me very reluctant to have sex. What's your relationship like in other areas? Do you have enough time for each other without conflicting demands? I think a large part of it is mindset - I've found in the past that the longer I go without having sex with my boyfriend, the more I worry about it and the less I feel like doing it because of this. I know it's easier said than done, but if you can set aside your worries and not dwell on how little you feel like doing it (I'm not saying force yourself to do something you really don't want to but at least try) you may find that once you've overcome it enough to have sex once that boosts your confidence and you will actually feel more like doing it again. Sorry if that's a really clumsy way of putting things, what I'm trying to say is often the longer you go without doing it the more you forget the good stuff about it and the less inclined you feel to do it at all.

    Have you talked to your partner about it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Stress can be a big cause, i felt like this not long ago, i was finishing school and had a lot to worry about and my sex drive was non exsistant, so it could be that? If not, are you happy with the way you look? Because self esteem could be something to do with it. Try talking to your partner about how you feel, but reasure her it isnt her fault. Maybe going out just the two of you alone, or trying something different could bring it back a little.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    menopause.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    haha i thought it was about the movie sex drive lol anyway off topic. might be due to stress. try talking to your partner about whats been on your mind
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just to point out guys, the OP is female and straight I think :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh sorry :blush:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The pill can sometimes affect sex drive.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    menopause.

    i'm only 28! he is being really understanding but it doesn't stop me feeling awful, i feel really bad about it.
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