:/

Former Member

Ok well this is kinda hard for me to say but it's been on my mind for a while now and I have no one else I wanna talk to it about so you guys will have to put up with me!

Basically, I like girls but I like guys too. ( I'm a girl btw )I've been denying it for a couple of years but I don't think I can anymore. It's not a teenage phase or anything like that, as it seems to be 'in' at the min with teenagers.

but the problem is I'm finding it kinda hard to 'accept' if that's the right word.

Ok so I've never been with a girl, but I have fancied them... And one I fancy quite a bit

I dunno, I'm kinda scared...

But basically i'm confused and don't really know what to think...does it sound like a phase?

Former Member

It sounds no less normal that wishing to be with someone of the opposite sex. Well done on feeling able to start talking to others about it; I guess it can't be a very easy thing to do.

I guess for some people, it may be a phase. We can develop feelings for the person, rather than the gender. But if you've liked more than one lass, then maybe that's just the way you're wired.

Former Member

i think if you have had a lot of crushes on girls it's not likly to be a phase. but that's ok. i have alot of bisexual friends and their cool. i think you should be happy you have the choice of both sex's. then again it's all up to you if you want to believe the truth... you must see through deseption... or however that saying goes lol

Former Member

heyya...
I'm Bi and I've known for a few years, havn't told anyone apart from my best friends tho. I guess it is hard to know and except who you are, I mean I had my heart set on being a gay man!! But just tell yourself that you are who you are.... and you are fine like that :-)
C-A Xxx

Former Member

Thanx guys

I'm just finding it a bit hard to accept because if I'm honest I probably like girls more than guys. and in my group of friends that probably will change everything between me and them, so I don't want to tell anyone.

Its not that I've go anything against Bi or gay people it's just I'm finding to kinda hard to accept that I could be.

Former Member

Don't worry, I felt exactly the same when I was coming out (and think I put some similar posts on here... back in the day!) and it's normal to worry about how people will react. I never really came out until I arrived at uni, although most of my close friends knew by the time I left school.

The main thing with the girl you fancy is to be realistic. Do you think she is gay / bi? Will you risk a friendship if you open up to her? It's hard to think about these things so clinically but it's important.

Former Member

Nah i wouldn't say she was, she's quite a touchy feely person especialy when she is drunk but no i wouldn't say she was. (not that i take advantage of this) And plus i've known her since i was little so i wouldn't try anything on anyway because of that. I think its one i'll just have to live with myself but i'm ok with that coz she is a good friend.

As for coming out, thats going to take a while i think. apart from on here . I've not really got my head around it. Maybe i just need to find myself a guy

Former Member

Has anyone got any tips on coming out? Just for when the time comes. I have no idea really what to say...

I dont really wanna be like "oh by the way, I'm bi" even though that might work?

Former Member

If you don't want to say "I'm bi" say something like "I want you to meet my new girlfriend" when I told my friends I just said "Do you want to come into town with me and my girlfriend on saturday" they laughed and said "you could of just said that your bi"
C-A XX

Former Member

So did I.

Former Member

I'm more amazed that she's saying all this when she says she's 12.

Anyway, back on point. I'm not gay or bi so what I say might be wrong, but how you tell people depends on who you're telling. I can put my hand on my heart and say I wouldn't give a fig what sexuality you have, so long as no animals or children are harmed in the production. My reaction to someone coming out is usually "meh, that's nice"- but not in a harsh way, I do understand that it's a big thing.

Former Member

This girl is like 12 shes really lived hasnt she, for a 12 year old.. hahaha. Back to the point

Im straight, so i dont know any tips on coming out, but you shouldnt worry about it, because it makes you you. Just tell your friends casually, if you met a girl you liked, ask her to come out for a drink with your friends and then just go from there. If your friends dont like it, you know who your true friends are, and who isnt.. Hope this helps, sorry my advice is a bit pants today

Former Member

I didn't realise how young you are. I'm not saying for a minute that you don't know your own mind but sexuality is very fluid and you may not wish to come out yet. I'm sure it's easier if you are bi than if you come out as gay and later have to "go back in" (yes, I know people who have!)

That said, I came out tentatively to someone at 13...

Anyhoo, it's a tricky thing. I've sat some people down and done the serious thing but people are usually not half as shocked as you would think. These days, I just let it come up when we're talking about relationships. I know plenty of people who don't actually know I'm gay, which I find comical as I've not recently made a secret of it.

Former Member

Wait...i'm confused who's 12?

Former Member

crying-angel. I think a few people have been a touch confused!

Former Member

ahh! Ok!

yeah i'm not 12 i'm 17

Former Member

she knows alot doesnt she for a girl of 12

Former Member

missemilylouise wrote: »

she knows alot doesnt she for a girl of 12

Well she seems to know more than i do about this particular subject...and I'm 5 years older

Former Member

She said something about knowing she was bi a few years ago, shes 12, so god she must have been like 8-9 years old and knowing she was bi :chin:

Former Member

heyya.... okay lets clear this up. I am a girl, but i've always wanted to be a man- I don't want a sex change but people have said to me ((and i agree with this)) that i am a gay man trapped in a womens body. I am 12 and ive known im bi since i was about 9. And yea... i guess im old before my time! My best friends a bisexual 16 year old boy... and my other best friend is a 23year old women. I started puberty way to young... so i kinda matured quicker- and i must say it isnt always a good thing!!!! Anyway.... as i said before coming out is hard, and don't do it till u are ready :-)
C-A xx

Former Member

Lol. Okay

Former Member

ahh, now it makes sense

Former Member

Just wanna say thanx guys! Been really helpful

Former Member

crying-angel wrote: »

heyya.... okay lets clear this up. I am a girl, but i've always wanted to be a man- I don't want a sex change but people have said to me ((and i agree with this)) that i am a gay man trapped in a womens body.

Aye, I'm the same. I'm a complete camp stereotype but somehow I'm a lesbian... go figure. Good luck with it all, anyway, you can PM me if you need anything.

Former Member

I had a phase like that it lasted for a few years, and i had 2 gf's and did stuff with many girls but now i just like cock haha, nothing to be ashamed about tbh it gives you more choice so its good Just be happy with yourself

Former Member

Yeah I'm getting comfortable with it now I think it's coz I've had positive replies in this thread. Not that I thought I would get negative ones, I just think I needed people to tell me it's perfectly fine to be this way and because no one I know knows I felt I was on my own with it. But now I feel good about it - might take more time to tell someone but that doesn't matter there's no rush!

Former Member

I bet you any amount of money you know someone who is bi/gay.... they just either haven't come out or don't want to come out (as they are ashamed ect. it happens quite alot) It's something like every 1 in 10 people are bi/gay and every 1 in 100 (not quite sure of the exact number, correct me if I'm wrong) is pan/A.... soooo you'll know someone I'm sure
C-A xxx

Former Member

piccolo wrote: »

Anyhoo, it's a tricky thing. I've sat some people down and done the serious thing but people are usually not half as shocked as you would think. These days, I just let it come up when we're talking about relationships.

Think this is the best plan. Possibly have the serious conversation with your parents, or best, best mates, so they don't fall off their chairs when you bring home your first girlfriend. But for less best friends and acquaintances, just mention it if/when it becomes relevant.

There's nothing weirder than someone you barely know making a flourishing announcement about which way they swing. Mainly because you'll find most people, especially the younger few generations, REALLY don't care if you like boys or girls or both or neither, any more than they care if you like bananas, or what colour your pants are on any given day.

Former Member

crying-angel wrote: »

I bet you any amount of money you know someone who is bi/gay.... they just either haven't come out or don't want to come out (as they are ashamed ect. it happens quite alot) It's something like every 1 in 10 people are bi/gay and every 1 in 100 (not quite sure of the exact number, correct me if I'm wrong) is pan/A.... soooo you'll know someone I'm sure
C-A xxx

Yeah i know a few bi girls but i wouldn't i would go there with them unfortunately.

There's nothing weirder than someone you barely know making a flourishing announcement about which way they swing. Mainly because you'll find most people, especially the younger few generations, REALLY don't care if you like boys or girls or both or neither, any more than they care if you like bananas, or what colour your pants are on any given day.

haha yeah. I'm hoping no one really cares, and i know a lot of the people i know wont. But theres always the few that can't let this type of thing drop.

Former Member

Olive wrote: »

most people, especially the younger few generations, REALLY don't care if you like boys or girls or both or neither, any more than they care if you like bananas, or what colour your pants are on any given day.

And for some reason people are more likely to know whether I like bananas and what colour my pants are than who I fancy...