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Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
as you all know i have to move to dewsbury and the date of the move is this saturday!!.

But i dont think i can do it!...i have to leave everything i know and love...all for the one person i love...and i do love him!..but i am feeling trapped i know this move will help him feel better coz he is stressed about money problems.

i just want to be the i was before...going out with friends having a life!...but am not! i need to feel alive again! but how!!

i dunno why i am writting this think i just need to vent my stress! i just hate feeling this way at the moment!

does anyone know what i can do to make myself feel alive again??


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Hiddenxxsecrets :wave:

    Moving is always a time of upheavel and reflection. You said that this move will make him feel better. Will it make you feel better? It's important that the move is the right thing for both of you.

    Have you spoken to your partner about feeling trapped? Perhaps you can do some things together to feel alive again? There are some good tips to boost yourself on this page and also some ideas for being positive.

    Hope some of this helps. Good luck for Saturday. Keep posting - :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no it will not make me feel better...i spent mosst of yesturday crying and the day before i have spoke to him about feeling trapped and he thinks i meant i feel like he doesnt give me enough freedom but i didnt i just meant like everyone has control over my life and i have none...and its hard to deal with..my family constitly in my face about a job which i am tryin to get but its difficult when there is none out ther and when i have depression!...and if i feel ill they go u r always ill i carnt help it...and my dads like go an do this go an do tht and i just wanna get on a train and go any where but here. But he says it upsets him if i am upset so i try not to be upset around him coz i dont want him to be upset.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Moving is sad experience, but look at it in a different way. Look on the bright side, maybe you can be a better person than you are now in that place.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    o i didnt realise i was being a bad person...mm..maybe you are ryt am being too selfish...!...i will have to try and be a better person any way.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i don't think Rainer was telling you that you are a bad person. From the sounds of it you most definitely are not!

    If you are committed to this move, try and work out the positives for it. I think want Rainer meant is that it could benefit you- you've mentioned that your parents control you a lot etc, so this could get you out of their influence and enable you to have some control yourself.

    I'm moving in properly with my boyfriend in september (we've been living together but not had a contract together until now) and I am having a panic about it. It's natural to be anxious and worried, and it seems there are a lot more issues for you than there are for me.

    I also felt "dead" in a way- i wasn't horny, wasn't interested in being a girlfriend. My boyfriend and i took some of the pressure off and i started going out and being social again. However, that's slightly difficult for you to do unless you can put off the move- but perhaps when you are moved, make sure you get out and meet people in the area. Do you have hobbies? join a club there and make new friends. You can still see your old friends too.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think you are right about ther being more issues for me because when i was 11 my mum tried to take me to live down london and take me away from my dad..and altho it is dewsbury and its an hour away on a bus i feel like i did all them years ago sad i kno and i should move on but i supose when that happened i never cried and i just carried on going to school and never talked about it...and i supose now i am having to move it has brought it all back up again and i am only now bothered by it and is properbley making me feel the way i do.

    i do want to make new friends but i feel i have a loyality to my old ones. I am appling for a college course in dewsbury as i dont feel i have anything intresting going for me career wise well i dont have a job an all am trainned in is cleaning i need somthing more intresting so i will make some new friends there hopfully.

    my only hobbie would be drinking with my friends ha...i cannot cancel the move i have done so once already and if i dont do it then i will never do it...all my friends are going out this weekend when we move but i may go out to cheer myself up with them...i will come back when i can but i halifax will always be home no matter where i live.

    thank you for all ya adivce and am sorry for the rant ha
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're welcome.

    Yes quite often childhood fears come back to haunt us. Perhaps this is something you need to work through though, to finally lay that incident to rest? This is your choice to move, and this is your time. You are not going to be restricted from seeing anyone.

    I moved to uni 4 hours away from home, and around 6 hours away from my best friends. I still see them regularly enough (although admittedly not quite as much as i would like) and it's still exactly like we'd never been apart whenever we meet.

    You can meet new friends and be loyal to the old at the same time. Especially as you will only be an hour away in Dewsbury- that's plenty of opportunity to travel back and see family and friends.

    Good for you, the college course should help you settle in, get orientated and meet new people. You can always create new hobbies- find something you are interested in and take it up!
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