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Grandpa died; how to tell others?
Indrid Cold
Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
My grandpa died this evening. I feel alright; I've never really had any big reaction to death. I seem to just accept it and move on. I guess there's always the chance that in truth I just don't face it, though... I can't tell.
It was in his sleep and all shows he never knew anything was happening, which is good to know.
What I'm afraid of is that I'll have to be the one to tell some others. Specifically, my brother and dad (grandpa wasn't his dad). Dad lives in another city, and my brother in another country, so I'll have to tell them by phone.
I don't know how either of them will react, although for my dad I might have an idea (I've had to tell him about a neighbour dying before, but I just did when he asked me about her -I can't do the same now) but I really don't know how my brother will react. What I do know is that either of them is like me (whatever "like me" is), so they will definitely have some reaction...
There is always the chance (although unlikely in this case) that someone will tell my brother before I do, and that would make things easier... But I can't wait too long for that and I don't want to ask someone to do it.
I need some advice and as soon as possible, please...
It was in his sleep and all shows he never knew anything was happening, which is good to know.
What I'm afraid of is that I'll have to be the one to tell some others. Specifically, my brother and dad (grandpa wasn't his dad). Dad lives in another city, and my brother in another country, so I'll have to tell them by phone.
I don't know how either of them will react, although for my dad I might have an idea (I've had to tell him about a neighbour dying before, but I just did when he asked me about her -I can't do the same now) but I really don't know how my brother will react. What I do know is that either of them is like me (whatever "like me" is), so they will definitely have some reaction...
There is always the chance (although unlikely in this case) that someone will tell my brother before I do, and that would make things easier... But I can't wait too long for that and I don't want to ask someone to do it.
I need some advice and as soon as possible, please...
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Comments
I think best thing to do is speak to them now. I think they'd feel worse knowing either from someone else or ages after the death occured. I know it'll be hard on you to break it to them but I think the longer you leave it the worse it'll seem. (It may seem like you were trying not to tell them if that makes sense.)
Hope you manage it.
Hugs
Yes, I agree. Don't put it off.
I think starting by saying 'I have some sad news' prepares people a little for the actual news. I don't think there's much point trying to make it sound anything different to what it is. Just tell them the facts, wait for their reaction and respond accordingly.
It's not going to be an easy conversation, you just need to get it over with.
I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm not going to call now, it's the middle of the night (and even before, it was late). It will have to be in the morning.
I guess there's no easy way to do it, is there? To be honest I'm also afraid that my brother's going to accuse me of being insensitive, and that it might be true...
Don't try to second guess what peoples reactions are going to be like cos you'll only see problems where there are none.
If you feel like you might say the wrong thing tell them that.
'I have some sad news to tell you but I'm worried about how to tell you in the right way' kind of thing.
:yes: Thats the best advice.
There will be no easy way to do it and i dont envy you, but dont leave it and leave it. You need to do it quickly.
it's a good idea like someone else mentioned to begin 'I have some sad news' but there is no ideal way to tell someone really. Just don't be really insensitive which i highly doubt you'd be anyway.
hope things went ok this morn x
I had to wait till afternoon on Sunday to tell my brother -he wakes up late- and then my dad, but it was a lot easier than I expected.
The funeral was on Monday.
I've been feeling ok really, very ok... But I don't think the whole thing has sunk in yet.