Letting a friend down

Former Member

have a mate who has had heart surgery...

A lot of people let her down when she went in and she was really upset. I feel bad because I couldn't afford the time off work to see her, as I have been in a really bad place financially for the past year.

She'd been in hospital and got out and I said I'd help her do things, like clean her hamster's cage and her house as the hospital after care is crap. On Monday, I couldn't help because I have been really involved with community radio (and working full time days 'til Friday) and had an evening show as a part of a local festival thingy... She txt me Friday asking if she wanna meet Monday...

It's a crap excuse, but I've had a lot on my mind as well as being insanely busy. I tend to forget things when I'm really put off by other things... I forgot I hadn't text her back to arrange to do something and I txt her back Sunday thinking "shit!" and now she's saying no can do as she's booked every day of the week.

I feel bad because I just got laid off and it's not like I am mega busy... I just have a brain like a seive...

Most of all I cherish my friends and try to be good to them... But yet again I let myself get busy and forget things like this. Especially as so many people let her down and she's gutted about it. I am more than happy to help her out of course because I see good friends like family.

I have a habit of comitting to things too easy, or getting involved a lot and as a result forget to keep contact with friends because I get so engrossed or overly passionate. I did this at university... I think I could have got a 1st if I wasn't so involved with other things.

Do I sound like a crap person?

I try to be good but I am so bad at forgetting things...

How do I appologise to my friend because I am rubbish at these things?

I think she is annoyed I can't make those dates.

My friend is suffering and I let her down.

Former Member

No, the fact it pangs your conscience shows that you are a caring person. Yes, you are friends, but all you can do is try your best to find the time for her. Yes, perhaps you should be more careful in saying an unconditional yes to things, but you have other responsibilities. The best way to apologize to her is to just say straight up that you're sorry that you haven't been around as much as you'd hoped to be, but that certain thing have gotten in the way. Say you'll make it up to her by spedning some time with her when you next get the chance. She should understand.

Former Member

Maybe send her a card and some flowers just to say sorry? and see her as soon as you can. all you can do is apologise really, im sure she'll understand.
if it was me, i guess i would be a bit annoyed and that along with what she must have been through probably makes it all seem worse than it is. but i think if my friend sent me something and apologised that'd be enough

Former Member

Namaste wrote: »

Most of all I cherish my friends and try to be good to them... But yet again I let myself get busy and forget things like this. Especially as so many people let her down and she's gutted about it. I am more than happy to help her out of course because I see good friends like family.

I have a habit of comitting to things too easy, or getting involved a lot and as a result forget to keep contact with friends because I get so engrossed or overly passionate. I did this at university... I think I could have got a 1st if I wasn't so involved with other things.

I'm just the same as you. No, you're not a crap person
I would think/hope she knows this about you, and if you apologise, she'll realise straight away that you're being sincere and things will be fine

Above ideas are all good. Make a gesture of apology, spend some quality time with her ASAP.

Former Member

I think I'm the same too and then I feel ridiculously guilty. In fact I forgot to meet someone this week. It's so bad. If you tell her what you've mentioned in this thread it's going to be really, really obvious how bad you feel and that you are a good friend. Even though I'm sure she knows this already. Just rearrange and when you do see her, treat her. Maybe cook something good or bring over her favourite dvd and ice cream?