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moving on...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
well, i dont think imgoing to get back with my gf, and ive never realy taken to change verry easily. she realy was everything to me. like, EVERYTHING. but im just lookinging for some advice to help me move on. i was in a dark place befor i met her, and now im on my way back down.
so any tips on how to deal with it and move on would be greatly apreciated.
thanks...
so any tips on how to deal with it and move on would be greatly apreciated.
thanks...
0
Comments
What helps is being busy a lot. visit a lot of friends, be among people you like, pick up a hobby etc.
I think when you have broken up with someone it's important to go back to your regular hangouts, to do all the stuff you used to do with them but with other people. That way the places don't come to have this terrible painful significance or make you sad - you just make new memories there that help to deal with the painful ones.
Me and my ex always used to go to this one cafe for breakfast. So after we split up I carried on going there, but with my best friend instead. I was determined not to get all weepy and misty-eyed every time I walked past it.
:yes: very wise words - I think the same goes for listening to music too.
i have already slipped into doing things i used to, although it doesnt always feel right. i suppose i just need to tread carefully as there are some things i want to avoid from my past. and this isnt going to be easy. mind you, dont suppose its easy for anyone...
but thanks for the replies. i shall put them too good use.
hope u go arround it quick, since i beleave i might take a while.
He was my world, we split up, presumed we would get back together- we didnt.
Worst mistake was living with that frame of mind, You need to accept that, You may get back together but its more than likely that you wont, And live like you wont get back together.
Time is a healer, But Like whats been said already, Party and focus on your social life.
Thats how i did it.
Im not going to lie to you, you will go through ups and downs, mixed emotions for your ex over periods of time. what i will advise, (which at the time i thought was a daft idea) Is No contact. It helps ALOT.
Wise words were said before, go to places you and your ex went, Do all the stuff you did together, but with other people.
It may seem like a dark place now and like things wont get better but they will!
Im 18, ive realised theres more to life than some boy. I Know everyone is different but getting back on the dating scene helped to an extent, showed me there are other people out there who are Just what you want or need, as far as im concerned, relationships are off my list for the time being and fun is right at the top. It may not seem like it now but given a few weeks/months you will actually crave attention from someone else. Break ups arent the end of the world, even if it may feel that way now, it wont forever. Get a Hobby and live your life! Dont sit about, keep busy and live each day as it comes! I love partying, i love meeting new people, i love doing my own thing and most of all i love the person i am now, My opinions on alot of things have changed, its only been a few months i know but ive moved on, quicker than i expected really! I still care about him alot, possibly even love him but im far happier without him and i do not want him back. Im my own person now, ive rebuilt relationships that drifted apart and ive made myself a stronger person.
My ex has done some crappy things since weve been split up and at the break up period, One of them being leaving me for my ex best mate, to leave her for a girl in college, Slate me- then apologise, emails telling me his feelings for me, how much he misses me followed by "but i dont want you" .. the list goes on & on. when i hear things like this now, it doesnt bother me, i just think about my life today, How happy I am, and how much fun im having- without him. I thought i couldnt live without him but the reality of it was that he was the one possibly holding me back from living my life. Think about your ex as little as possible and just get out there and have fun!
Use this site to report your progress and air your thoughts- it helps. The people on here are always ready to help or Listen if you just want a good old rant!
Good Luck!
Sorry for the essay but i hope it helps!
I was in a similar situation last year, me boyfriend of 2 and a half years unexpectantly dumped me. I was reallly lost and confused for about a month, we were still talking on the phone which would usually end in me in tears, so I would advise you have no contact whatsoever with her however much you want it. it doesnt help you move on at all. If you want to be friends again once you have both moved on then great, but it only stops you getting on with your life at first.
After about a month we cut all contact, and I started to go out and enjoy myself with my friends and enjoy the new found freedom. There would be times when I would see him out and about and it would bring me down, but thats all part of the process. After a while you realise you think about them less and less, and I remember the first time I didnt think about him all day and it made me really happy. I think it took me about 6 months to get over completely, but now I am there i feel like a brighter and happier person with more opportunities and experiences.
Break ups arent the end of the world, and time is a great healer. They can also shape a person for the better.
Good luck
i know its not the end of the world and all that, but i was quite heavily effected by depression when we started going out. as time went by with her, it slowly went away, not completely but slowly, and now shes gone i can feel it crawling back even though im trying to fight it.
i was never verry popular with girls (and my social skill arnt to die for), and she was my first "proper" girlfriend, so it was propibly a mistake for us both to want to get so serious with each other.
i have since we started to split, either wanted her as a big part of my life or not in it at all, and this has finaly hit home with her when she found out that ive gotten rid of what she bought me (an attempt to start again without her). and its alost safe to say that im ok with it. i know she doesnt want me, whatever i may feel and there is nothing i can do about that.
just now i feel so alone. ive never realy had a strong relationship with my perents and... well... she was the first person to ever make me think "wow... she wants me!" and im not the kind of person to want to have a "short term" relationship. i fell in love with her for it to be serious. as in, serious serious.
and sometimes going out with mates as often as i can, doesnt always seem to cut it... especialy when everyone has someone else...
im not realy sure where im going with this. and the answer is probibly going to be "move on, get over it, find some one new" and im part way there. its just, im sort of stuck between "get over it" and "find someone new". im not sure im gonna want some one new... and im not just saying "i dont want anyone new"... im just saying... i dont want to be alone again...
sorry if ive repeated myself anywhere previously... but i do apreciate the replys. thanks.