Don't know what to do? Very sad and upset!

Former Member

My boyfriend has just broken up with me very recently and i am exceptionally heart-broken, :crying: we were both very much in love, and had been going out with each other for just under 1 and a half years, i haven't stopped crying since he told me and i feel like its all my fault for what happened. I very much thought we had a future together.

The only reason why he did spilt up with me was because of my lack of friends, i have some friends just not has many as him and he felt pressured that i would only depend on him, which in my opinion is not true, the friends bit yes. I really wish things would be ok and would go back to how they were, he said we can still spend the same about of time together, that he loves me, i'm his best friend, if anyone dared hurt me he'd deal with them and that it could be a possibilty in a few weeks that we could get back together, only possibly though e.c.t but i really love him ever so much and he loves me. I just wish things could work out and we can fix things, how do these things work out? Bad, good or there's no way of telling. We both are our longest relationships. I wasn't ready to spilt up and i still don't want to be spilt up with him, i do have hope.



Signed Confused

**helen**

Hey,

Really sorry to hear about your break-up - it's true that they're really hard and unbelievably sad and so the emotions that you're experiencing aren't unusual at all - it's especially tough when the reason doesn't seem justified.

You say you have friends, but not as many as him, and that is the reason he's given for breaking up with you. Imagine if a friend told you that her boyfriend has broken up with her because she didn't have enough friends - how would you respond, what would you think of him? Does it sound like a realistic or fair reason to you? Would you think it was her fault?

Another question to ask yourself is - Do you think you have actually been depending too much on him or do you feel like you're are happy enough with the friendships you have and that you're independent? If you answer yes to these questions then you can feel sure that you're being unfair on yourself by taking all the blame - if you're happy with your friends and levels of independence then it might be that you have to accept that the problem is out of your hands.

Regardless, it sounds like this guy really cares about you and likes you, but if ultimately his decision to split up sticks, then the best thing in most circumstances is to give each other the space and time to heal and then move on. Friendship can be possible at a later stage, but in those early stages the waters can become really muddied if you're hanging out in the same way you were as a couple. It might be that you need to let him know how hurt you're feeling and that he needs to respect you with distance during this time. That's the main way that you'll be able to become stronger.

Also, check out TheSite's articles on getting over it, accepting it's over and mending a broken heart.

Take care and let us know how you're getting on. Chances are some days will be easier than others, but we're here to listen whatever happens.