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help! urgent crisis pls respond asap

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
ive just got home expecting to find my flatmate/best mate sleeping on the sofa while a female friend f his had his room instead the sofa is empty and sex noises are emanating fro thier room!!!!! i am close friends wit his long time gf, im sorry of inconsistecies but im drunk and epic flailing im a very moral person and i dont know how to handle this! were all going out together tomorrow! his gf is away for a few weeks! should i pretned nothing happeed? tell his gf? omg im so sorry i just dont know what to do im a very moral person and this is hitting me hard i dont even know if i could be friends with him after this:(

help!!!!!!!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If your friend has a partner then tell them..they have a right to know.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    grahaminneed wrote: »
    If your friend has a partner then tell them..they have a right to know.

    Not sure about that... I mean he lives with the guy so if he tells the girlfriend that could make things very awkward. (Assuming OP is a guy).

    I say talk to him about it, let him know you're not happy about the situation and that you're going to find it really awkward not telling his girlfriend... Then the ball is sort of in his court. Other than that... play it by ear I think.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I will sound like a person who rather glances away instead of approaching the matter, but I've been the idiot in these situations numerous times: You are white knighting, but in the end everyone forgives everyone except you. You are the idiot who put his nose into something which is not his business.

    It always ended like this for me, ergo: Don't get fucking involved.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Think about if you were the girlfriend. You say you are quite good friends with her. Now imagine your mate caught your other half at it with someone else, would you want them to tell you? I know i would.

    Ok, so this bloke is going to be pissed off at you, and of course he will, but what do you think is more important? Having your mate pissed off at you, or the girlfriend being blissfully unaware that her boyfriends a cheating barstard?

    Maybe ignorance is bliss but she could get hurt in the long run and by you not telling her, it could make it worse.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    On this one occasion, I would tell your friend that its only fair that if he expects you to keep quiet about his misdemeanours, he must do it away from your home, otherwise you will not feel obliged to keep it quiet from his girlfriend because you do not want to be party to his deceit.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Surely that'll be endorsing his behaviour?? Basically saying its ok so long as she/he (??) doesnt know about it. Whilst there are things that are better not known about, I dont think this is one of them.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    Surely that'll be endorsing his behaviour?? Basically saying its ok so long as she/he (??) doesnt know about it. Whilst there are things that are better not known about, I dont think this is one of them.

    No, I'm not saying that. What I am saying is that if yohanes does find out again that he is sleeping with other girls whether at the flat or elsewhere, then yohanes will be obliged to tell his girlfriend. I know my post didn't make that quite clear but what I meant was that yohanes doesn't want to know about any cheating, and so if he does choose to cheat, then do it away from home. Sure, yohanes can give him a lecture too but if this was just a once off, then maybe yohanes can give the 'best friend' the benefit of the doubt on this one occassion. People make mistakes. There is no indication that the guy is a consistent philanderer.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It depends if you're friends with the girlfriend or not. If not, I wouldn't say anything.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    You are white knighting, but in the end everyone forgives everyone except you. You are the idiot who put his nose into something which is not his business.

    It always ended like this for me, ergo: Don't get fucking involved.

    This sounds like very wise advice to me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do NOT get involved, you will lose your friends, probably have to move out of the flat, etc.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Keep quiet and claim ignorance if ever called on it.
    Chances are if you're living with the guy he's gonna be a better mate to you than his gf..so that's where your loyalties should lie
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thnks

    thanks so much for all the advice guys i really appreciate it, in the end i talked to him and he swore nothing happend and hes told his gf everything so im giving him the benfit of the doubt, but ireally appreciate the advice x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If he swore nothing happened, then what is this "everything" that he told his girlfriend?
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