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Not sure.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Basically I am wondering what are the main reasons for friendships/romantic relationships to end ?
Are there many factors ?
Are the factors different between romantic relationships and frienships ?
In terms of friends I think sometimes it may be that people switch social circles like in school I had a friend, but then sixth form came and I ended up hanging out with one set of people and him with another. It turns out another friend said he did the same and kind of switched social circles.
I've had some friends since year 7 and they have never let me down once so I view them as very good friends. I've also made me some excellent friends since university by joining a film club at home.
One of these friends said how friendship is based on proximity and another friend at home was saying that distance is a killer and often this is the case with romantic relationships too.
I think often you come together into a situation eg university where you are close to each other and can do things together, but then distance/time and money needed to see people come into play if you live in say Leeds and someone lives in London and then you can't see each other as much and maybe sometimes you drift apart.
However, with e mail and phone I feel you can stay in touch more easily. A part of me thinks that a French lady I lived with last year got it right when she said it's like natural selection with friends ie the good ones stay.
I'm currently in France, but within the last week a friend in China has contacted me, as has one in Berlin and people from the UK.
However there are some 'friends' from university who didn't reciprocate to my messages even though geographically they were far closer to me, so to my mind you'll stay in contact with good friends no matter where they are as my former flatmate has constantly e mailed me from China, whereas other people seemingly don't want to know even though they are much closer.
A friend in France said the way you have to think sometimes with people is that it's their loss. I think he's right as I feel I'm a decent guy and I put the effort in with people and have plenty of good friends, so I think as a general rule if there is a trend of people not reciprocating you have to end iit.
I guess people are all different - some people put the effort in with me, some never seem to ring, but then they are always pleased to hear from me and some it seems have got off the wagon for whatever reason as despite my efforts it doesn't seem they are interested. So you just have to think I don't need people who won't reply to a simple e mail.
The way I think I have to look at it is people are busy and so you have to give the benefit of the doubt to people and accept some people may be just genuinely bad at staying in touch, but with the people who didn't reply to 6 or 7 e mails I think I did the right thing deleting their phone number and at the end of the day I haven't heard from them whatsoever.
Maybe in life you hold onto your better and stronger friends/romantic relationships as a general rule - is this right ? I would say my school friends have stuck by me and are reliable and I can see who my good friends from university are now, but sometimes I think you get to the point with someone and you think if they were really a good friend surely they'd reply. At least I think some people have shown they aren't true friends or apparently it boils down to friends for a reason/season/life so maybe some friends don't transfer from one chapter of your life to another.
To be honest I haven't been sure, but I figure I've made plenty of friends and that one of my good friends from school said words to the effect of for every friend you lose you'll make two more which was excellent for the confidence which has been steadily increasing over the last few years.
So I suppose I would ask why do friendships/relationships end in general?
When do you know when to end a friendship ? I think lack of reciprocation is key here?
Is there anyone else who seems to have a lot of long-distance friends and how have you kept it going as it isn't necessarily that easy ? I think phone, e mail and just seeing them every once in a while is all you can do.
Hope you can clarify why relationships end and when to end them
Are there many factors ?
Are the factors different between romantic relationships and frienships ?
In terms of friends I think sometimes it may be that people switch social circles like in school I had a friend, but then sixth form came and I ended up hanging out with one set of people and him with another. It turns out another friend said he did the same and kind of switched social circles.
I've had some friends since year 7 and they have never let me down once so I view them as very good friends. I've also made me some excellent friends since university by joining a film club at home.
One of these friends said how friendship is based on proximity and another friend at home was saying that distance is a killer and often this is the case with romantic relationships too.
I think often you come together into a situation eg university where you are close to each other and can do things together, but then distance/time and money needed to see people come into play if you live in say Leeds and someone lives in London and then you can't see each other as much and maybe sometimes you drift apart.
However, with e mail and phone I feel you can stay in touch more easily. A part of me thinks that a French lady I lived with last year got it right when she said it's like natural selection with friends ie the good ones stay.
I'm currently in France, but within the last week a friend in China has contacted me, as has one in Berlin and people from the UK.
However there are some 'friends' from university who didn't reciprocate to my messages even though geographically they were far closer to me, so to my mind you'll stay in contact with good friends no matter where they are as my former flatmate has constantly e mailed me from China, whereas other people seemingly don't want to know even though they are much closer.
A friend in France said the way you have to think sometimes with people is that it's their loss. I think he's right as I feel I'm a decent guy and I put the effort in with people and have plenty of good friends, so I think as a general rule if there is a trend of people not reciprocating you have to end iit.
I guess people are all different - some people put the effort in with me, some never seem to ring, but then they are always pleased to hear from me and some it seems have got off the wagon for whatever reason as despite my efforts it doesn't seem they are interested. So you just have to think I don't need people who won't reply to a simple e mail.
The way I think I have to look at it is people are busy and so you have to give the benefit of the doubt to people and accept some people may be just genuinely bad at staying in touch, but with the people who didn't reply to 6 or 7 e mails I think I did the right thing deleting their phone number and at the end of the day I haven't heard from them whatsoever.
Maybe in life you hold onto your better and stronger friends/romantic relationships as a general rule - is this right ? I would say my school friends have stuck by me and are reliable and I can see who my good friends from university are now, but sometimes I think you get to the point with someone and you think if they were really a good friend surely they'd reply. At least I think some people have shown they aren't true friends or apparently it boils down to friends for a reason/season/life so maybe some friends don't transfer from one chapter of your life to another.
To be honest I haven't been sure, but I figure I've made plenty of friends and that one of my good friends from school said words to the effect of for every friend you lose you'll make two more which was excellent for the confidence which has been steadily increasing over the last few years.
So I suppose I would ask why do friendships/relationships end in general?
When do you know when to end a friendship ? I think lack of reciprocation is key here?
Is there anyone else who seems to have a lot of long-distance friends and how have you kept it going as it isn't necessarily that easy ? I think phone, e mail and just seeing them every once in a while is all you can do.
Hope you can clarify why relationships end and when to end them
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