If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
messed up head, advice needed BADLY
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I need help, basically cause Im too embarassed to talk to any of my friends about it. Me and my boyfriend are extremley close and I know that he masturbates over porn and other girls (girls at work, uni, me, people he knows etc) I dont have a problem with him doing it over porn at all, but asked him to tone it down on doing it over other girls.
anyway, the other week I noticed hed been searching on google for nude pictures of a girl he went to school with (they went around at the time and he told me about it before), and I got a bit upset but he told me he was just curious and wanted to look at them, which I would be if it was someone who went to my school. It was forgotten about.
But then the other day I looked in his email and saw that a friend of his had emailed him the nude pictures of the said girl. I was very upset when discovering them, seeing nude pictures of another girl in your boyfriends inbox isnt nice. I asked him whether he had masturbated over them and he said yes. I was very upset over this as he knew that I would be upset as wed argued about it when he searched for them on google.
But I just dont know how mad I should be? Am I being irrational? Is this normal? Should I be mad at all? I just would appreciate some advice really as Im totally on my own in this and have no idea how normal this is. Some honest replied would be appreciated even if you think I'm a raving lunatic who needs to get a grip
cheers
anyway, the other week I noticed hed been searching on google for nude pictures of a girl he went to school with (they went around at the time and he told me about it before), and I got a bit upset but he told me he was just curious and wanted to look at them, which I would be if it was someone who went to my school. It was forgotten about.
But then the other day I looked in his email and saw that a friend of his had emailed him the nude pictures of the said girl. I was very upset when discovering them, seeing nude pictures of another girl in your boyfriends inbox isnt nice. I asked him whether he had masturbated over them and he said yes. I was very upset over this as he knew that I would be upset as wed argued about it when he searched for them on google.
But I just dont know how mad I should be? Am I being irrational? Is this normal? Should I be mad at all? I just would appreciate some advice really as Im totally on my own in this and have no idea how normal this is. Some honest replied would be appreciated even if you think I'm a raving lunatic who needs to get a grip
cheers
0
Comments
First of all, I don't think you're being irrational and you're deffinately not a lunatic. Even though i'm a guy myself, I can understand what you're saying and I would feel the same way if it happened with a girlfriend.
You have every right to be angry/upset (even both) about this situation, but how you deal with it is something only you can decide.
If it bothers you that much, you shouldn't just dismiss it, forget about it or tell yourself that it's okay. It seems to me that you need to talk to him about it, and explain how you feel so that he can understand (it's possible he doesn't realise he's upsetting you).
Obviously, i have no idea what happens in your relationship, but there are several reasons why he could be looking at naked pictures of this girl and masturbating over them.
1. He doesn't get to see you naked as much as he wants or you don't have enough sex (in his opinion)
2. He's bored of you or doesn't find you as appealing as he used to.
3. He fancies lots of girls, and you are just one of them.
Of course, i have no right to judge him and the above are just some suggestions of what i personally think.
Like i said, try talking to him, but if he really doesn't seem to care or he just argues with you, perhaps you need to ask yourself if he's the right person for you? Do you really deserve to go through this?
Anyway, I hope i've helped in some way
Jamie
Just wanted to wish you a warm welcome to The Site - We can see that you've posted a few times. The Site is a really friendly and open community.
Your post may be better placed on the 'Sex' or 'Relationships' forum though? You may get more responses, tips and advice. Although you have had a great response from Jamie.
Keep posting -