Lack Of Confidence

Former Member

I've recently started sessions with a counsellor and one of the main barriers which is stopping me from "living" my life is my lack of confidence, which leads me to feeling lonely because I really want to be able to go out there and meet some real friends who like me for me and don't make me feel like i've got to try and be something else.

I'm sure there's many people who can relate to this but despite the advice she has given me so far, I just can't bring myself to go out and meet people. I haven't got any friends to give me that social link to the outside world and I wouldn't know where to begin. She suggested joining a group but that just seems really daunting at the moment. I just wondered if there's anyone that could possibly give me some advice, perhaps based on their own experiences.

Former Member

I can relate to this.
I find I get a bit more confidence if I like something about myself. I don't really like "me" much, but if you go to the shops and buy a new t-shirt or something and then wear it out I feel more confident briefly. maybe this could work?
I was also going to suggest joining a group, I did that too and have met some cool new peoplewho like me for who I am, and we all have stuff in common, it's a good tip.
Many people aren't confident but are good at acting it. you could try this too although I personally find this a challenge.
Good luck!

Former Member

I feel the same, a lot of the time.
I don't have a lot of confidence in myself - it takes a lot to build me up, and then it's very easy to break it all down again. I interact with a lot of people due to my job (technical support working in a medium-sized company) but I don't find it easy to introduce myself to new people unless the job requires it.

I hate the idea of meeting people alone, because there's no fallback, no backup. Right now (feeling low as I am) the thought downright scares me, yet I yearn for connection with people.
Weird huh?

The advice you've been offered is solid, and it's the advice I think we all need to follow. Doing it is harder than saying it though. Good luck

Former Member

Thanks for your advice guys. I'd love to be able to try new things, like joining groups for example. I think like you said greenday88, buying something new or just feeling comfortable in what I'm wearing is definately a good way to boost my confidence, even if it's just slightly.

Eddish, I don't think it's weird at all in what you're saying about the wanting connection with people but being scared. I feel exactly the same and I find it hard to explain it to people around me without sounding like a contradiction. Hopefully though, we'll be able to put the advice into practice. Thanks for your help. I really appreciate it.

Former Member

Hi Believer09 :wave:

You have only posted a few times, so wanted to wish you a warm welcome to The Site - you have already been given some great advice from others on here. That is what The Site is here for.

The Site has a short video on boosting your self esteem. This may help you a little? There are loads of other great information pages, they can often help people to explore what is going on for you at the moment and the options that are out there.

It sound's like the counselling sessions are helping you at the moment - that is really positive. Well done for engaging with the sessions as this in itself can be a hurdle. :thumb:

Keep posting and take care -

Former Member

Thanks Harry, you're right - the advice has been great so far and I'm looking forward to being able to give advice to people and share experiences in the future. I certainly will check out the video. Thanks once again.