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how to get a boy who already has a girlfriend
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi
right ok alot of you are probably reading this thinking thats really harsh, people shouldnt meddle in other peoples relationships, and thats a fair enough opinion to have, but please id really like some advice.
im currently at uni and i like a boy in another flat who has a girlfriend. we are good friends but id like it to be more than that, im not sure how much more but i no im passed just friends. now if it was just that then id never dream of interferring with someones relationship but i get the feeling he sort of wants something more too. he frequently sleeps in my single bed with me, just for the sake of it and cuddles while he sleeps. now for someone who has a girlfriend, sleeping in a bed with another girl should be off limits right. there is alot more to the story but id would take a long time to write so i guess it will come out through questions people may have
i no the potential drama this could cause but i really want to do something about how i feel so please if anyone has any advice on what i should do, feel free to comment
thanks
right ok alot of you are probably reading this thinking thats really harsh, people shouldnt meddle in other peoples relationships, and thats a fair enough opinion to have, but please id really like some advice.
im currently at uni and i like a boy in another flat who has a girlfriend. we are good friends but id like it to be more than that, im not sure how much more but i no im passed just friends. now if it was just that then id never dream of interferring with someones relationship but i get the feeling he sort of wants something more too. he frequently sleeps in my single bed with me, just for the sake of it and cuddles while he sleeps. now for someone who has a girlfriend, sleeping in a bed with another girl should be off limits right. there is alot more to the story but id would take a long time to write so i guess it will come out through questions people may have
i no the potential drama this could cause but i really want to do something about how i feel so please if anyone has any advice on what i should do, feel free to comment
thanks
0
Comments
I have a few guy friends that im really close with and have shared a bed with and cuddle in a totally platonic way and some friendships are just like that.
If there is no sign that he is really unhappy with her (and don't trust signs anyway, just when he for example talks about it with you), really don't interfere. You don't really want him to leave his g/f just for you, because then you are insecure all the time that he will do the same to you. And if you come between a normal happy couple you will be known under not so pleasant names. Really, don't do it. I don't say this from a moral standpoint, but from an opinion that you have little chance and don't really do yourself any favor with it. I can't see a realistic, possible and positive outcome.
Look for someone else.
My advice to you is not to get involded with him unless he splits up with her first because this guy might sense you like him, sleep with you, this will make your feeings become alot stronger and then still sticks with his girlfriend. and you will be really hurt then. just watch out he don't use you as a bit on the side xxx
i appreciate people dont agree with it, but say i was to pursue it how do you think i could get what i want? and from what iv said how do you think he feels?
If he leaves his girlfriend, game on.
If he doesn't, game over.
This is very good advice. I should also listen to this :rolleyes:
you do not no how many times iv laid in bed with him and his been asleep and had his leg wrapped betweeen mine and his arm across my chest and iv wanted to do something but havnt. or iv woken up and weve been facing each other with our lips so close together that my nose will be touching his and iv just thought if i kiss him then i can find out and i just really want to do it but i no if i do this and he is like what are u doing then it will ruin our friendship and since we are in the same circle of friends and are living together next year, trying it on would be a major risk. i need the impossible to happen and him just tell me or make the move (if he does feel anything for me that is)
Ask him. Your playing with fire anyway so not much to lose.
Just make sure your better than his girl in the sack
the first time we slept in the same bed as each other he asked if i was sleeping with pjs on and this was back when i saw him as a friend and i was like er yea of course i am. anyway he normally sleeps naked and so when he sleeps in my bed i think its an issue for him that he has to sleep with something on, as he occasionaly says he wishes he could just sleep naked. well my idea is to either allow him if he brings it up again to show that im like comfortable ect or be like do u mind if i sleep in underwear coz im getting hot and if he is like no i dont mind then im laying there in underwear basically offering it to him and if he doesnt take it then i no he isnt interested and wouldnt cheat on his girlfriend. i probably sound like a complete bitch with no respect for myself but sometimes you have to do stuff like that to get what you want in the long run right?
aww im so confussed by the whole situation, i just no i want him but dont want to be the horrible person or a slut to get what i want
I think this idea is flawed, I'm afraid.
:yes: X a million.
He'll probably fuck you raw and then leave, and your friendship will be over too. Haven't you thought that if he did fancy you, he'd have made the move already?
look, if you've come so far and he hasn't dumped his girlfriend yet for you, it isn't meant to happen. He just wants the best of two worlds, fun with you, but the security backup of his girlfriend. It all sounds so lovey dovey what you describe and if he was in love with you he probably had gone for it, but he hasn't...
yea, this.
How would you feel if he was seeing you, but sleeping in the same bed as someone else who liked him?
Whilst others may have a different opinion, I'd never consider doing this whilst in a relationship with someone. I'd also say that, contrary to the opinions of others, I'd suggest not even mentioning to him that you like him. If he liked you as much as you like him, then - assuming he has some moral integrity - he'd have split with his current girlfriend already.
I don't know whether he'd cheat on his girlfriend with you or not. But even if he does, it's probably him taking the flirting too far, and he'll run straight back to his girlfriend once the excitement is over and he realises what he could be ruining.
I'm sorry, I've been in your situation many times before, it sucks. Don't give up all hope though, my girlfriend had a boyfriend when I first met her. Let him know how you feel and see if he leaves his girlfriend or not. It's the only way to find out, but prepare yourself for the worst.
How would you feel if you were the girlfriend and he was sleeping and flirting with another girl. Hes got no respect for her, and would have no respect for you either
If you have sex you'll just be stuck as the bit on the side. Why would he buy the cow if he can get the milk for nowt?
I think you've behaved really inappropriately with this boy already, but there's no point lecturing about that.
touché
Exactly.
Yup seconded.
Sounds to me like he's missing the closeness of having a girl around, so he's gonna do everything he can but stop at the point that people would construe as cheating.
He's trying to have his cake and eat it.
I say find a hotter guy who treats his women better and who is up for a kiss.
If it were me, he'd be in the bin.
very profound, hm?
Unless he was schizophrenic ... you'd only be half of him.
I feel so confussed