How do you know?

Former Member

Not sure if I'm a total fuck up or if this is a 'usual' situation to be in, but I would love any advise.

I've met this guy - he's really nice and friendly and we get on really well.
We've been on 3 dates this week.

Here's the problem:

I like spending time with this guy but I can't work out how I 'feel' about him.
My brain and body don't communicate.
My body usually says go for it - Just cos I love sex so much I think and don't seem to have that thing that girls are supposed to have where they get attached once they've had sex with a guy. Infact before now I've just been relieved when the guy has gone afterwards even when he's been really nice AND hot.

Whereas my brain tends to freak out and get scared and commitment-phobic and this, that and the other.

So how do I work out if I like him?

I'm terrified of hurting his feelings and he seems pretty keen on me. I'm really freaking out to be honest. :crazyeyes

I've tried to be honest about where I'm at and said I want to see him again cos I'm needing some time to work out what I'm thinking, so we're going for dinner tonight.
Just... I'm useless at this. What do I do?

I don't want to be a cock-tease either and I'm thinking I should probably make my mind up one way or another pretty soon.

Oh, and I was a bit of a silly girl cos I canoodled with him the second time I'd met him and I shouldn't have... Just not good at saying no. :rolleyes: But this complicates things as well cos now I think I look like a bit of a bitch.

Help!

Former Member

I think it's good that you've told him that you need to have time to figure it out- i would just take it slow, go out on a few dates and see how you feel!

Former Member

chill out about it and go with the flow...you will soon know if you want to continue it or not....dont think so far ahead....

**helen**

Hey Lu,

Easier said than done but try not to be so hard on yourself about this. The fact that you're aware that things might have gone a bit too quickly from the start shows you're a decent person and haven't intentionally been leading him on - sounds like things got a bit carried away in the moment and you're now aware that he might like you more than him. It could have gone either way though eh?

I hope dinner goes/went well and as craicjunkie and skakitty say, you don't need to make any massive decisions, you can just enjoy the time getting to know him and see how it goes.

Former Member

Thanks all.

Dinner was lovely... I still can't really figure out what to think, but I had a chat with him and explained where I was at and said I was worried he was more keen on me than I was on him and that I was still making my mind up... He said so long as I'm honest with him about how I'm feeling then it's OK with him and that he's a big boy so if I say I want to just be friends he can deal with that. It's just he'd mentioned a couple of times in the past being hurt by people and it got me all worked up about if I have to hurt his feelings - but it felt better to be reasured.
I'm glad I had that talk with him anyway, it's made me feel more relaxed - although he's still very keen and I'm still a bit freaked out. lol. Ahh well... I supose a little more time will tell.

Also, I dunno if this is a usual thing to be bothered by... But he won't let me pay for ANYTHING. Infact he'd run out of change and I paid for a £1.50 parking ticket and he was even trying to give me this back... It really bugs me when I can't pay my way. Is this normal or am I being finickity?
I don't mind being paid for sometimes... but when you want to pay half and you're just not allowed to.... it just really bugs me.

Former Member

Take your time, all will become clear soon enough. Good things come to those who wait.