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Issues with my dad
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
okay so i have serious issues with my dad i dont have anywhere else to vent so i thought id give it a go here - if anyone has been in a similar situation or has any advice please let me know 
im a 19yr old guy living at home with my mum - my parents split up when i was 3. My dad has never really been there for me, he came to visit monthly roughly until i was about 12/13 then i tended to see him about 3 times a year. I have nothing in common with him. I dont particularly like him as a person (the guys a total arse) but to be fair hes never done anything terrible. Its just that i dont know him at all and iv tried so hard, particularly since i was about 13 to try to get to know him.
He had a heart attack 2 years ago and i was very confused, didnt really know how to feel cause on the one hand hes my dad and i was worried, but on the other hand hes a guy that i rarely see, dont know and dont even particularly like. I wouldnt wish him dead by any means, but from a practical sense it wouldnt really have affected me. I was very confused by it though and went to visit him and then again when he was having a triple bypass. During this time i felt like we might have a chance to become close, let myself get my hopes up after almost giving up on him. I rang him every night for a few weeks after that to make sure he was okay, then every week. After a while though it was feeling very one sided so i left it to see how long it would take for him to ring me... about 3 months later he phoned back.
He became even more irritating to be around, simply because we are very different people and we dont know each other. I last saw him in January 2008, and in October when he emailed me if i was free when he was coming down to london i told him that because we dont really know each other that it was probably best that we dont keep on meeting up and should let it go, and since then we have had no contact.
I have been very angry at my dad for a long time, and still am. I have since gone as far as to change my last name to distance myself even further from him.
BUT every now and then i keep on getting really upset by it and missing him, wanting to talk to him. I have a tendancy to overanalyse my own thoughts and think i might just be missing the guy i always hoped he would turn out to be, but i dont know. At times i hate him, but at other times i really want to talk to him. I know that disowning my dad was a harsh step to take, so i dont want to just call him up cause if i realise that i was right to disown him then it would be really out of order to do it again.
I have no idea what to do and its driving me insane!!:banghead:
Phew! its good to vent even if its just by typing lol
im a 19yr old guy living at home with my mum - my parents split up when i was 3. My dad has never really been there for me, he came to visit monthly roughly until i was about 12/13 then i tended to see him about 3 times a year. I have nothing in common with him. I dont particularly like him as a person (the guys a total arse) but to be fair hes never done anything terrible. Its just that i dont know him at all and iv tried so hard, particularly since i was about 13 to try to get to know him.
He had a heart attack 2 years ago and i was very confused, didnt really know how to feel cause on the one hand hes my dad and i was worried, but on the other hand hes a guy that i rarely see, dont know and dont even particularly like. I wouldnt wish him dead by any means, but from a practical sense it wouldnt really have affected me. I was very confused by it though and went to visit him and then again when he was having a triple bypass. During this time i felt like we might have a chance to become close, let myself get my hopes up after almost giving up on him. I rang him every night for a few weeks after that to make sure he was okay, then every week. After a while though it was feeling very one sided so i left it to see how long it would take for him to ring me... about 3 months later he phoned back.
He became even more irritating to be around, simply because we are very different people and we dont know each other. I last saw him in January 2008, and in October when he emailed me if i was free when he was coming down to london i told him that because we dont really know each other that it was probably best that we dont keep on meeting up and should let it go, and since then we have had no contact.
I have been very angry at my dad for a long time, and still am. I have since gone as far as to change my last name to distance myself even further from him.
BUT every now and then i keep on getting really upset by it and missing him, wanting to talk to him. I have a tendancy to overanalyse my own thoughts and think i might just be missing the guy i always hoped he would turn out to be, but i dont know. At times i hate him, but at other times i really want to talk to him. I know that disowning my dad was a harsh step to take, so i dont want to just call him up cause if i realise that i was right to disown him then it would be really out of order to do it again.
I have no idea what to do and its driving me insane!!:banghead:
Phew! its good to vent even if its just by typing lol
0
Comments
You also have to understand it can be difficult for him too.
Also he may not show the interest you want him to, but this shouldn't matter as long as he is willing to know you.
Or you could just ask him the question thats haunting you, the best way to get problems solved ask and get answers.