Help!!

Former Member

I need help and I will be incredibly grateful to everyone who answers. I introduced myself yesterday but the topic seems to have disappeared so I'll do it again, I'm Lisa, an 18 year old student.

OK, heres the problem. I'm ready to sleep with my boyfriend but I'm a virgin and I don't want him to know that (there is a good reason but its a long story). I am completely clueless about sex and I need to know basic things like...do I have to guide him inside me or will he do it himself? Does the girl move during sex or just lie there? Will it hurt? erm...I'm sure there are other things but I can't think of them now, basically any tips would be gratefully accepted.

Former Member

could u not name ur topic "help" cos so many r called help and its confusing <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/mad.gif"&gt;

could u fill us in on the reason why u want him to think uve done it before as unless its a good reason u should tell him cos he'll know if ur a virgin.

there r no set rules for sex, only that the penis is inserted into the vagina, some move around underneath, some lie there and enjoy.

u should tell him ur a virgin cos a) he'll respect u for it b) if he thinks uve already done it he'll expect something good and as u have no ida about sex ur likely to disappoint his expectations. c) u can tell if someones a virgin cos they bleed during first intercourse and ull be found out and may damage the relationship when he found out u lied all along.

[This message has been edited by dirty_harry (edited 11-01-2001).]

Girl-From-Mars

harry, your point c) isnt always correct. not everyone bleeds.

fizz, your topic's moved to anything goes where you introduced yourself!

okay.. yeah i think you should say why you dont want him to know you're a virgin, then we might be able to give better advice. i think that if you're in a loving relationship with someone and you want to share intimacy like sex with them, you should be honest with each other. if you havent had sex with anyone before, he probably WILL be able to tell. have you done anything else sexual with each other before? i would recommend foreplay and stuff before you actually decide to HAVE sex, foreplay isnt necessarily just before sex, you can do it quite easily without sex. and bring each other to orgasm in a number of ways if you want to. sorry if youve already done all that, just trying to give as much help as poss!

another way he might know if youre a virgin... your hymen may not have been broken. it CAN be if you do loads of sport or something or use tampons.. saying that ive used tampons since i was about 14 and my hyemn was still pretty much there!!! for some girls it does hurt, losing your virginity, for others it doesnt. personally it hrut me like hell!!! we had to stop a few times and give up for the entire day it hurt so much. it hurt the next few times as well. theres no saying that it'll be the same for you. but i think it would be better if you told him, then he could be more gentle and understanding.

about the technical side of it.. dont even try it until you're properly aroused! i always guided my boyfriend in myself, it just seemed to work better that way. then you just have to move your hand out the way once its lined up and everything! i wondered about all this stuff too before my first time, i mean how can you know this stuff unless you do it yourself? like harry said, the woman can either lie there still or move. it works better if you move about... but practice makes perfect! my boyf was a virgin too so the first few times were pretty weird!

cant think of anythign else for the mo.. good luck anyway <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

i dont have to add use a condom do i?? oops i already did... <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

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