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Clothes/Confidence

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My first post so please be gentle!

Just a bit of background! I'm 23 and in a long term relationship. Before uni I was quite quiet until you got to know me but around my friends I was fine, bit of a tom boy - no skirts/dresses/make up only on nights out but even then I didn't know what I was doing! Uni really brought it out of me and many people who've known me for years have commented. After uni I temped, got a job in london and thne went travelling with the b/f - this was the best thing i've ever done and has brought it out of me even more (such an amazing experience).

I've never been a person with particularly high self esteem/confidence - never really sure of 'my style'. However recently I've been trying to get away from the stereotypical student clothes and get more of my own/my age style. Which is fine.

However I had my work appraisal this week and my manager and supervisor basically said that I need to 'power dress' and 'get a hair cut'my hair is apprently too studenty. My hair I'm leaving as I don't want to do anything too drastic but the power dressing I kinda agree with however I don't want to wear things I'm not comfortable in as then I won't feel comfortable/confident in them, I also need things on the cheap.

Any one any suggestions? Basically part of the issue is that I look young/don't know how to wear make up/don't want to spend much money.

Any help please?!

TIA

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello and welcome to the boards!

    Out of curiosity, what job do you do? The idea of 'power dressing' is interesting to me...

    Firstly - you don't necessarily have to change your hair cut. Why not find nice smart ways to wear it up? It'll look professional, and can help make you look older.

    As for clothes, wear what you're comfortable in! Most high street stores will do some description of formal clothes. You don't have to wear skirts if you don't want to - a good pair of trousers and a smart pair of shoes works wonders with a good blouse etc. You can find this kinda stuff in any shop to suit your budget!

    Make up wise - again, you don't have to make yourself uncomfortable. A little bit of mascara and some blusher works wonders. Just a tiny bit of light blusher goes a long way - and can help make you look older.

    Hope that helps!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Blimey she sounds scary.

    One of the best things (there are many) about my job is that i get to wear what i want to work on a daily basis - usually jeans and trainers but i also wear skirts and dresses.

    I think that wearing clothes which suit you and which look good on you give you confidence - rather than choosing to "power dress" persea. I hate wearing suits and as a result i think that i come accross looking akward in them and less natural and less confident. Whist i have a couple of smartish outfits which i feel much more comfortable wearing.

    I would say its probably worth investing in something which you like, which suits you, which fits well and which is well made, rather than rushing into a normal shop and buying an ill fitting black suit. I can only imagine that a job which requires power dressing pays reasonably well so i'd suggest coast, whistles, french connection, hobbs and jigsaw for nice well made clothes which you might like and which wouldn't be a million miles from your exisitng style but which might be more suitable.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wyetry wrote: »
    Blimey she sounds scary.

    One of the best things (there are many) about my job is that i get to wear what i want to work on a daily basis - usually jeans and trainers but i also wear skirts and dresses.

    I think that wearing clothes which suit you and which look good on you give you confidence - rather than choosing to "power dress" persea. I hate wearing suits and as a result i think that i come accross looking akward in them and less natural and less confident. Whist i have a couple of smartish outfits which i feel much more comfortable wearing.

    I would say its probably worth investing in something which you like, which suits you, which fits well and which is well made, rather than rushing into a normal shop and buying an ill fitting black suit. I can only imagine that a job which requires power dressing pays reasonably well so i'd suggest coast, whistles, french connection, hobbs and jigsaw for nice well made clothes which you might like and which wouldn't be a million miles from your exisitng style but which might be more suitable.

    who's sounds scary?

    May be I shouldn't have used the words power dress but more dress for success.

    I don'tearn a huge wage as I'm only on an internship. My job involves working at various universities, working with students so I have to appear older than them as often some of them are older than me! But I also have to deal directly with university staff and for this reason need to dress for success to apparently make me come across like know what I'm doing.

    I know exaclty what you mean about feeling awkward in suits.

    Recently I saw someone in the perfect outfit but now I just need to find it, she had knee boots (black/flat/smart) a floaty black skirt, belt and then I can't remember the tops but it was perfect - young fashionable but also smart
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiya :wave:

    I am in a very similar situation to you - currently trying to stop wearing such studenty stuff and look a bit smarter at work, whilst still retaining my personality and being a bit different...I'm not finding it easy! I will say though that a lot of shops have some really nice work-y ranges, including Dorothy Perkins, H&M and New Look, and they're all reasonably priced. I would suggest starting off with a few basic pieces - black trousers, black straight or flared skirt depending on what suits your shape, a few shirts and plain tops in various colours etc - and then go a bit more wild with your accessories. A pretty scarf, sophisticated bag or some unusual shoes can totally jazz up an outfit and injecting your own style into a basic outfit will give you confidence and hopefully help avoid that awkward uncomfortable feeling that Wyetry mentioned (which I know all too well!)

    As for the hair and make-up, I think what DancingHorse said is spot on - you don't need to change much to make a big difference. I tend to find that mascara, concealer, powder and a tinted lipgloss are all I need to make myself feel more "professional" - the key is making yourself look a bit more polished rather than trying to create a whole new face. Take it one step at a time too if you're not used to wearing make up daily, as you're guaranteed to feel uncomfortable if you come into the office wearing a faceful of make-up when you're used to wearing none or hardly any.

    One final tip, check out some magazines like Look and More - I find that they often do features on how to put together work outfits cheaply and fashionably. Also, Gok Wan's book How To Dress (I :heart: Gok) has a whole chapter devoted to office style which is worth a look just to get some ideas.

    Right, I'm going to have to take some of my own advice I think, shopping this weekend it is! Good luck :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry you manager sounds scary.

    All the shops i reccomended have great sales sometimes up to 75% off so i would still say you should check them out.

    I also reccomended a shirt dress to a friend which was from Dorothy Perkins and wasnt' that expensive.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wyetry wrote: »
    sorry you manager sounds scary.

    All the shops i reccomended have great sales sometimes up to 75% off so i would still say you should check them out.

    I also reccomended a shirt dress to a friend which was from Dorothy Perkins and wasnt' that expensive.

    i do kinda want a different hair style and have been trying for years but i'm always too scared in case i don't like it - i don't do drastic changes!

    right now its a side fringe, and i just straighten it every day -i do need sth easy to manage but apparently i need a more 'officey' hair style
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