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Is she tempted to stray?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
First a few small details going backwards.
A few weeks ago my fiancee went out and when she came home I saw a car drop her off up the road and wasn't sure if it was a taxi, though she said it was. No more was said. A day or so latter she was acting odd, unexplained happiness, like she was excited about something. She didn't really like me going out with her either, there's always an excuse.
Last week me and my fiancee finally went out together and she couldn't stop telling me how much she loved me, how she couldn't wait to marry me and how great I looked etc. I thought that a bit odd seeing as she has never been that over the top before, like telling me every 5 minutes!
So this week I use her phone to get a number I had called prior and I came across a number I slightly recognised, it was the number of her ex's work (I used to deal with one of their branches). I asked her about the number and she said, "oh I phoned up for a windscreen wiper" so I say, "so you called a town 20 miles away just for that? Why not pop in to town and get one?" (2 mins away). So she said that he called her for a chat and to ask her out for a drink, then she called him back for some reason. But before the phone call they had both bumped in to each other a few weeks prior and had a general chat about me and her and how she was getting married and had a baby etc. I asked how long she was talking to him for and she said 10 minutes. Ok fine.
The reason why she didn't tell me this was because she thought I would think there was something going on, but why would I? It's an ex, someone she doesn't love any more.
Any way, I used her computer that day we spoke and found that she had been searching for him on the net, she was looking through Facebook, local rugby clubs sites, first aider sites, voters register, using loads of different terms in Google then she had obviously thought to check the place where he works for a number. So if he had called her, why did she go through so much trouble to find a number or email address for him? The day she called him was the day when we went out and that's when she started with all these compliments. The night she came home in car was the night she had met him out.
When I spoke to her about it again she said "oh I only spoke to him for 2 mins in the street, just a quick hi and bye". But she said she stopped for a chat for 10 mins before when we spoke about it.
I also knew that she was doing these Chinese future predictor things (she is interested in stuff like that) and was asking "Will I marry the person I am with now" and "Will I ever find true love". I asked her about it because she was saying how much she loves me and how she wants to spend the rest of her life with me etc. and she said it was it was from years ago, she was doing it with a mate, then she said she was playing around with her brother using it the other day, which I know is rubbish because there was nobody else in our house apart from me and her the time and date she was using it.
Any way, there seems to be tiny details missing or details changing about the whole thing. People who were there then wasn't there, times change, places change, conversations change etc. I am a bit confused to say the least, she acts like a child that has been caught doing something they shouldn't.
A few weeks ago my fiancee went out and when she came home I saw a car drop her off up the road and wasn't sure if it was a taxi, though she said it was. No more was said. A day or so latter she was acting odd, unexplained happiness, like she was excited about something. She didn't really like me going out with her either, there's always an excuse.
Last week me and my fiancee finally went out together and she couldn't stop telling me how much she loved me, how she couldn't wait to marry me and how great I looked etc. I thought that a bit odd seeing as she has never been that over the top before, like telling me every 5 minutes!
So this week I use her phone to get a number I had called prior and I came across a number I slightly recognised, it was the number of her ex's work (I used to deal with one of their branches). I asked her about the number and she said, "oh I phoned up for a windscreen wiper" so I say, "so you called a town 20 miles away just for that? Why not pop in to town and get one?" (2 mins away). So she said that he called her for a chat and to ask her out for a drink, then she called him back for some reason. But before the phone call they had both bumped in to each other a few weeks prior and had a general chat about me and her and how she was getting married and had a baby etc. I asked how long she was talking to him for and she said 10 minutes. Ok fine.
The reason why she didn't tell me this was because she thought I would think there was something going on, but why would I? It's an ex, someone she doesn't love any more.
Any way, I used her computer that day we spoke and found that she had been searching for him on the net, she was looking through Facebook, local rugby clubs sites, first aider sites, voters register, using loads of different terms in Google then she had obviously thought to check the place where he works for a number. So if he had called her, why did she go through so much trouble to find a number or email address for him? The day she called him was the day when we went out and that's when she started with all these compliments. The night she came home in car was the night she had met him out.
When I spoke to her about it again she said "oh I only spoke to him for 2 mins in the street, just a quick hi and bye". But she said she stopped for a chat for 10 mins before when we spoke about it.
I also knew that she was doing these Chinese future predictor things (she is interested in stuff like that) and was asking "Will I marry the person I am with now" and "Will I ever find true love". I asked her about it because she was saying how much she loves me and how she wants to spend the rest of her life with me etc. and she said it was it was from years ago, she was doing it with a mate, then she said she was playing around with her brother using it the other day, which I know is rubbish because there was nobody else in our house apart from me and her the time and date she was using it.
Any way, there seems to be tiny details missing or details changing about the whole thing. People who were there then wasn't there, times change, places change, conversations change etc. I am a bit confused to say the least, she acts like a child that has been caught doing something they shouldn't.
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Comments
"The reason why she didn't tell me this was because she thought I would think there was something going on, but why would I? It's an ex, someone she doesn't love any more."
You say that, but it doesn't sound like that's what you think. Maybe she got thinking about her ex, looked for a way to contact him but hid it from you because she knew that you would react like this.
And if she started with the compliments the day she bumped into him, doesn't that suggest to you that maybe since speaking to him she realised that she was over him? Maybe she really understood how she felt about you by bumping into him.
I think you should talk to her about it. You both need to be honest about what's going on.
Hmm don't overlook it mate cos that's not always the case - first loves and ex(s) can still hold power over us.
It sounds fishy as fuck imo. Keep on your toes and unravel the web of lies. Go with your gut feeling on this one - truth may set you free tho...:p
I am yet to discover whether there is people who are just not good at being open and honest or if the world a lot of lying cheating people in it?????
Damn wish i could answer that one!!!!
How and ever, if the person concerned makes you happy then i think it can be overlooked as long as nothing serious materializes. After all we are all only human. If someone is gonna break your heart then it willl happen no matter what you do.
This is my new train of thought. Paranoia can make you very unhappy about something that makes you very happy. Stay on the ball but dont kick unecessarily.