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Need advice!! My friend thinks cheating on tests to get high marks is okay...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm not sure how to describe it, so instead, I'll give you what I recall of the scenario.
I have a really close friend, and I always see her as a cute, cheerful person with an (sometimes) odd personality. She's smart with her subjects and her school marks are good too (more on that later). I don't have her in any of my classes, except near the end of the year where she changed her schedule so she would take the same chem class as I am.
During one test (she sat beside me), she asked if she could look off of my sheet. My initial response (as should most people be) was "no." Obviously this is because we (at least most of us) do not condone cheating. Not only is it unethical, but the cheater does not benefit (knowledge-wise) from the test. The purpose of tests is to access the individual's knowledge independently, right? When her other friends supported my decision, this infuriated her, and now she refuses to talk to me as well as some of her other friends.
First off, let me tell you that I have NEVER seen her act like this before, and neither have some of her friends. I talked to one of her closest friends, and she tells me that my friend has been cheating for high marks since since the days of elementary (since when did we know how to cheat at such a young age? At least I didn't). I also feel that her friend is not telling me everything, and that she is desperately trying to hide something from me, judging from the way she answered my questions.
My friend claims that we're betraying her because we don't help her. My defense is that as much as we *want* to help her, we can't do so on tests. It's just not right. We'll spoon-feed her critical concepts prior to a test if we have to, but certainly not share answers *during* the test itself. I'm really afraid that if she continues this practice of cheating during tests, she won't make it past the 1st month of University without being caught, and then there'll be even bigger problems. Right now she thinks that we're not friends *just because* we didn't help her get good marks on a test... I need some advice... how can I help her? I want her to understand that we can't just give her answers on tests, and that she needs to learn to work on tests independently, that way she can get good marks without our help. To further complicate things, she refuses to answer me in anyway, nor does she answer some of her friends. Her closest friend wishes to remain neutral in all of this, but even she cheats a little (a few questions as compared to 75% of the exam), so there may be two cheaters on the wrong path of learning... any help would be greatly appreciated.
I have a really close friend, and I always see her as a cute, cheerful person with an (sometimes) odd personality. She's smart with her subjects and her school marks are good too (more on that later). I don't have her in any of my classes, except near the end of the year where she changed her schedule so she would take the same chem class as I am.
During one test (she sat beside me), she asked if she could look off of my sheet. My initial response (as should most people be) was "no." Obviously this is because we (at least most of us) do not condone cheating. Not only is it unethical, but the cheater does not benefit (knowledge-wise) from the test. The purpose of tests is to access the individual's knowledge independently, right? When her other friends supported my decision, this infuriated her, and now she refuses to talk to me as well as some of her other friends.
First off, let me tell you that I have NEVER seen her act like this before, and neither have some of her friends. I talked to one of her closest friends, and she tells me that my friend has been cheating for high marks since since the days of elementary (since when did we know how to cheat at such a young age? At least I didn't). I also feel that her friend is not telling me everything, and that she is desperately trying to hide something from me, judging from the way she answered my questions.
My friend claims that we're betraying her because we don't help her. My defense is that as much as we *want* to help her, we can't do so on tests. It's just not right. We'll spoon-feed her critical concepts prior to a test if we have to, but certainly not share answers *during* the test itself. I'm really afraid that if she continues this practice of cheating during tests, she won't make it past the 1st month of University without being caught, and then there'll be even bigger problems. Right now she thinks that we're not friends *just because* we didn't help her get good marks on a test... I need some advice... how can I help her? I want her to understand that we can't just give her answers on tests, and that she needs to learn to work on tests independently, that way she can get good marks without our help. To further complicate things, she refuses to answer me in anyway, nor does she answer some of her friends. Her closest friend wishes to remain neutral in all of this, but even she cheats a little (a few questions as compared to 75% of the exam), so there may be two cheaters on the wrong path of learning... any help would be greatly appreciated.
Post edited by JustV on
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Comments
But, what I would like some advice in, is what should I do to help her, and to convince her that this is not the right path?
hey baby it cool she can do what she likes just as long as you dont help her cheet and you make your opinion of what she is doing very clear.... i reckon as you were in the same test you do the same subject so obviously she is having difficulty with the work so just help her with her work and be her... like.... study bud:rolleyes:
Moreover, if she continues with this practice into University there is absolutely NO way that she'll even pass the first semester because her grades will be so low (since she can't look off of anyone) it's not even funny. I think she knows this fact, but she's not doing anything about it. She (as well as her friends, myself included) know how she always stresses out during ANY examination, and for University level ones, she's gonna have lots of trouble if she doesn't solve her current problems now.
Any suggestions to this predicament?
If she has been cheating since a young age you won't be able to convince her it's wrong overnight. Also, it is probably too late for her. If she has been relying on cheating all these years then it may be beyond her to survive in a university environment. The method of learning at uni is very different to that of college, she may be in too deep (especially if she doesn't find friends who will spoon feed her).
All I can say is keep trying to convince her she's in the wrong, eventually she will come round, but it will take a long time.
Is cheating really so uncommon in the Uk?
:rolleyes:
well in principle, its immoral...........................
exams there for a reason
I really don't felt guilty cheating in latin or physics exams, subjects I will never ever need for my degree.:D
fact is most people who pass exams genuinely try hard and people like you belittle that, no wonder we get those bastards every year who say the exams are getting easier
thats my point exactly