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Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ive been with my boyfriend for 2 years, Living with him for a year and a half of it, I Love him with all my heart and we have always been good together. We argued alot but always made up after, and everyone we know says we are a fantastic couple.
Last week, he told me he didnt want me anymore, and that i felt more like a best friend to him rather than a girlfriend. This all seems out of the blue, because weve always been fine, nothings changed, we get on well, laugh together, talk about everything, have great sex, everything you would want from a relationship. I cant get my head around it.
He doesnt want us anymore, and he says he doesnt want me.
Im crazy in love with him and want to be with him, i just dont know where weve gone wrong? its a massive shock to everyone, as nobody knows where its come from. Ive asked him if hes met anyone else, he promises me faithfully he hasnt- and i believe him.
I went to get my things from his house and we had a kiss and a cry together and ended up having sex, he then suggested we gave it a try on like a weeks trial, but we havent even lasted the week and hes adamant he doesnt want me.
Whats happening and what can i do?
Leaving him doesnt feel like an option even if i wanted to for his sake.
Weve been through far too much together and hes my life, i feel completly devastated and lost:banghead:
All i want is for me and him to get back to how we were- happy. :crying:
Last week, he told me he didnt want me anymore, and that i felt more like a best friend to him rather than a girlfriend. This all seems out of the blue, because weve always been fine, nothings changed, we get on well, laugh together, talk about everything, have great sex, everything you would want from a relationship. I cant get my head around it.
He doesnt want us anymore, and he says he doesnt want me.
Im crazy in love with him and want to be with him, i just dont know where weve gone wrong? its a massive shock to everyone, as nobody knows where its come from. Ive asked him if hes met anyone else, he promises me faithfully he hasnt- and i believe him.
I went to get my things from his house and we had a kiss and a cry together and ended up having sex, he then suggested we gave it a try on like a weeks trial, but we havent even lasted the week and hes adamant he doesnt want me.
Whats happening and what can i do?
Leaving him doesnt feel like an option even if i wanted to for his sake.
Weve been through far too much together and hes my life, i feel completly devastated and lost:banghead:
All i want is for me and him to get back to how we were- happy. :crying:
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Comments
Sometime Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder - Tell him you need space and can't talk with him. Once he see that you are waiting in the backround for him, he may try and get you back.
I'll PM you something that might help.
Try and keep yourself busy with friends and family. It's not your fault this happened. It's just life, things sadly change. It feel like your heart is breaking but you will pull through this.....In time
Perhaps its because you moved in so quickly into the relationship? I kow its hard but you have to remember that this is your life & you cannot spend time on the past, focus on what you can do to make yourself feel better.
My wife (who I have been with for 6 years) used to miss periods & be late because of stress- I think she was a month late when my parents told me to choose her or my family- & conseqentally I was kicked out onto the streets. So as hard as it might seem- try to calm down a bit.
Recently because of things in my life I have become down & stressed; I have found that walking helps me so much- I plug in my MP3 & just walk. I dont care where I go, or what the weather is like, I just walk & try to clear my head.
You dont know what you have got until its gone it so right- but whilst you are feeling this he may be too. But you have got to remember that this is nothign that you have done. You are not to blame for this & neither is he, he has had the decency to tell you this so it is still evident that he cares about you; many men would have simply cut off the girl from them.
he values you & trusts you as a friend & thinks that he can survive without you. However when he sees you its different. You cannot turn off a feeling such as you share- its impossible unless there is an underlying cause (such as some one has cheated - and even then you cannot simply stop loving some one). His head is probably so mixed up at the moment that he is finding it hard to deal with all of this emotion & he finds himself as if you are still together- I wouldnt keep going round there.....it will confuse you so much more & him too
Going to focus on me- well try to! get fit and what not
Have a good weekend! Talk monday
The thing is once a bloke's shot he's load he no longer thinks with he's cock. That need has been satisfied so it’s back to brain and heart slugging it out for control.
That’s why smart gfs/wives use sex to get what they want because us blokes are pretty easy to manipulate.
Yeah none of this is helping you - unless you wanted to use sex to manipulate him into being with you again, you wouldn't be the first woman to do that but its no long term answer.
I think you'll just have to cut him out of your life and try not to think about him so much, yeah easier said than done but it won’t do any good dwelling on things!!! You've tried to change things and the outcome hasn't been good has it?
well after a weeks trial weve decided to call it a day, well HES decided. We had a long chat and he told me he hasnt loved me properly for a long time, or wanted to be with me. i feel really hurt and betrayed but atleast hes finally being honest i suppose.
Its killing me looking at him as hes just so un botherd by any of it. I really thought he was the one for me, and i dont know why i was so stupid for not picking up on it- surely most people would have picked up on it? its not something you can hide when your living with someone is it?
there were times where i wasnt sure about him, we had patches where we argued alot and he was working alot which used to bring me down. I didnt think i would be that botherd about splitting up with him- but the truth is ive realised what he means to me- hes my life basically.
But its what he wants, and its going to really really hurt, but i have no option but to give up the fight and let him win. I thought our 2 years was worth fighting for but he doesnt- he said he loves me as a best mate and would do anything for me, but the romance aspect of it has gone. I think at the minute the only reason im not crying is because i still have that "hope" frame of mind, i keep thinking... in a few months he will realise..... but the reality of it is that he probably wont . Im going to do the no contact thing, well try to, and get fit, loose alot of weight and focus on me. im gunna try and do things to keep me busy, even going to try and find a job now and focus on my school work. I think what im scared of the most is other girls, around him. i know he has to move on at some point but seing him with anyone but me will destroy me having no contact with him will be really really difficult, hes my best friend, and his mum is more like my mum so im going to really really struggle. I may move into my dads house which is closer to school. just so im not sat on a bus for an hour twice a day with too much time too think. he also has a built in gym which i can use to take my mind of things! Even opted to babysit tonight to take my mind off him!
So here the heartache and moving on begins.....
well i didnt end up babysitting last night, he came home from work- im sat there ready to be took home with all my stuff "shall we go to the cinema?"
so we did.... i told him we could go as friends, and he held my hand in there twice, when we got back to his house i said " you can take me home now" and he looked devastated and replied "what do you mean?" i told him i had worked myself up ready to go and i didnt want to prolong it anymore, he said "stay the night- as friends and ill take you in the morning" so i did- and he did, and he helped me carry in all my stuff, and i tried to avoid eye contact so i didnt break down into tears, i didnt want him to see me like that. He asked for a hug and i gave him one- but it felt like he didnt want to let go, i felt my shoulder wet and realised he was crying, which set me off. i asked him if this is what he really wants and he replied with "i think so".
So im sat here on my bed wondering where to start with all this stuff?
What to sort out?
I think im deffinetly going to have to stay somewhere else for a while. everything here reminds me of him, my bed, everything in my room has a story that relates to him.
His mum has just rang me, in tears. She says to give him space- let him miss me. she doesnt think he knows what he wants at all and that if he gets space to do his own thing, he may come back. she said she knows when we split up at first, she went into his room and he had put two pillows down my half of the bed and was cuddling them- he had sprayed them with my perfume.
I dnno how i should feel about him. i do not hate him in anyway, I Love him so much. it wasnt a nasty break up, but we both stood hugging and kissing for about twenty minutes, i told him if he ever wanted me back then id be here, and he firstly said "i wouldnt come back because of the pain ive put you through" i told him i dont care about any of that- if there was a chance of him wanting me- id want him back, he kissed me and said "id have to do something drastic to get you back wouldnt i? id have to make up for this" and laughed... im so confused right now... everyone in my family thinks hes met someone else, i just dont think he has, neither does his mum. Im really close to his mum- im like a daughter to her and she wouldnt lie to me, she said on the phone that if there was someone else, he would be with her now, rather than crying in his car.
I'm kinda going threw the same thing
Really sorry that it has ended but maybe it is for the best- he needs (as do you) to find out what he really wants from life. I dont know your ages but maybe he wants to live a little before settling down?
Im so sorry it has hurt you but I think for you the best thing to do is not to hope for something that might not happen- do not let yourself hang on for something which never happen. He may move on after a while but my concern is that you wont.
Focusing on yourself right now is one of the best things that you can do. It may sound cliched but spending more time with friends, pampering yourself, eating good food, getting lots of sleep, all these things will make you feel more in control of what can seem like a totally uncontrolable situation. Right now, it sounds like he's calling the shots and going over to his place might not be the best idea although obvisouly it's hard not to when you still want things to work out.
You mention getting fit and in fact exercise is a great way to clear your head and get some much needed endorphins too. TheSite's articles on mending a borken heart and getting over it also suggest ideas for getting through this.
Hope this helps and take care
lol that would just be awesome
He eventually told me he left me for a girl in college, he had never spoken to her but she was enough to grab his attention! She wasnt interested so he tried his luck with me again, took me to the cinema and tried holding my hand. i was having none of it!
He then resorted to sleeping with the village bike, which pissed me off alot. We had a big argument about it, not because he did it but the way he was acting, "i just used her for sex" i told him he makes me sick and that i dont even know who he is anymore, which was followed by "i could say the same to you"
The next day, I had a massive email off him telling me that he doesnt love me etc etc....
So i didnt respond.
A week later, another email this time saying "you think im over you dont you?? well im fu**ing Not! I miss you everyday, i think about you constantly, i still would like to roll over to you instead of a big empty bed, etc etc etc, but i dont want you" i replied saying "Dont Tell me this stuff then" Which he replied, "I want to tell you though, i need you to know"
Then he told me he wanted to be friends, so i tried that one out, Then i was at a club with friends, didnt know my ex was there as i hadnt seen him, and a male friend of mine said bye to me and gave me a kiss, My ex comes flying over Pulls him away from me and starts kicking off, i told him i was furious with him as he has no right! Then he kept asking to talk outside, so i went out for a fag and he followed, "i dont know you anymore, who are you babe?? Ive lost my best friend and youve changed so much" i told him it was his fault that id had to change to be strong etc and he asked for a hug and i told him i was to angry with him to even consider it. so i went back in, and at the cocktail bar the girl i had seen him with earlier follows me up and says "he doenst want you, so leave him alone" i was furious!!!! I didnt want him and her to ruin my night to i drank a fair bit and had a good old dance! I ended up dancing with one of Mine and his mates, more so his mate but still a mate of mine all the same! so again the ex comes flying over ranting! You know, hes stood there with this girl and then kicking off at me for every move i make?? I couldnt believe it!
When i was stood by the bar he walked over and said "ive heard ur sleeping with someone, is this true?" i told him "yes, but its none of your business" and walked away. I didnt see him for the rest of the night.
Last week, i found out hes been sleeping with one of my so called mates! i was furious with them both, But it encouraged me to delete everything to do with him, He cant contact me at all!I wrote him a massive email explaining that i dont want anything to do with him but i will always love the boy i used to know. Ive heard their seing each other but to be honest i dont care anymore. As long as hes out of my life, im happy. i havent spoken to him since i sent the email and i dont plan to. Im happy being single and Im living for the weekends! ive missed out on so much while i was with him that i just want to be young and have a good time!
I have met someone but nothing serious is going on, We will see what happens! But for now, i dont think i am a brokenheartedgirl anymore, and it only took 2 months! it just goes to show how time heals! I will keep you guys updated!