why does commitment scare me?

Former Member

Hi, I've been in and out of relationships and always been cheated on for years, I had given up with men until I dated this one guy that I met online, he was everything I could have asked for, after him telling me how much he loved etc... he confessed that he was in love with someone else and he ended the relationship, I really did love him and took me a long long time to get over him.
I now have met another guy, he has a heart of gold, hasn't been with a girl in 2 years coz his ex f****d him over. When im with him im soooo happy, he's treated me like a princess and I know he would never do anything to hurt me. I don't know what it is but when I go out I get embaressed being with him, I don't know why, if its he's not that good looking, but I'm not a very vain person anyways. It's like I want freedom and not want to be in a relationship.
On valentines he booked a lush hotel, bought me tiffanys bracelet, flowers underwear the lot really and a massage in the morning. I felt so bad about it all and now I've told him I dont want anything serious. He doesn't understand what I mean. He's so upset and I don't know what I should do because part of me is saying I should stay with him coz I know he will treat me right, but something is telling me I can't. I'm scare dthat if I leave it too long I'll lose him and regret it.

has anyone else been in this situation?? what do you think I should do? should I stay with the person that loves me and treats me well or throw it away coz there's something missing?

xxso_hottxx

Former Member

He sounds like a great guy, But I think that you're not ready for something serious just yet. I think it's unfair to him that you are embarrassed to be in public with him at times. If my boyfriend felt like that when he was with me, I would be heart broken, so be fair to him as well.

Let him know that you need sometime to yourself to think about the relationship, so you know if this is something you want and makes you happy. I'm sure he will understand and give you the time sounds like he really does love you.

Sometimes those who are great to us aren't just what we are looking for. So even if it does hurt we sometimes just have to let them go.

Hope this helped.

Former Member

Firstly don't use him or head fuck him with games.

You don't know what you want so walk away, give yourself few weeks/months to sort your shit out. You may find that you don't want any relationship and you can enjoy your new found freedom.

Or you may well find you miss him and can stand being seen out in public with him without getting all shy.

Please, for the love of god, don't dick him about trying to have best of both worlds just because you think he'll treat you right! There are millions of blokes that will treat you how you should be treated....like a person!!

Beside you birds get shit-bored of being treated nice all time. Don't settle on him if your unsure, go away and think about it. Try being honest with him and keep explaining it until he understand. Also, you almost sound like one of those birds that need to be in a relationship...good or bad ones.

Former Member

appreciate the person who loves you and treat you that well. U might be always looking for Mr Right, but one day all you want just some simple happiness.