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yet another housing dilemma...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
After years of harrassment, i've been told that i now am eligable for a council flat! yay! and even better i might be able to defer my application until i finish uni ! yay!

the bad side...

it would mean i have to move back to east london...

Almost all my friends are now in north or northwest london, my work will also be in north or northwest london, and now i've settled in this area i'm really not wanting to move away. i do like this part of london.

But it would mean i have a home....something i've been wanting for a very long time.

argh i'm so confused! i didn't think this would ever happen, so i kinda resigned to the fact i'd have to do house shares until i earn enough money for my own flat- and keeping to the area thats got work so i can cut my travel costs down or out.

I could look at transfers, but i don't know how long that would take and what the rules are about it...

i'm not sure what advice i'm looking for here really, its just freaked me out a bit, and we are hoping that i can defer because otherwise i am going to have to travel an hour and a half each way, 4 times a week, and completely miss out on the uni experiance...

what do i do?
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is there no way you can get a flat where you are based now?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i would go for it. Council tenancies can be worth their weight in gold. If it was near a tube it surely wouldnt be so bad?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru

    i kinda resigned to the fact i'd have to do house shares until i earn enough money for my own flat

    I'm confused, doesn't everyone do that?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its unlikely to be near a tube unless i spesify i have to be in stratford...which isn't that nice an area, and it will still take forever on the tube...

    i've just got settled...why now? I know its a good thing but i've got to start all over...argh!

    the only way i could get a flat in this area is by putting everything in storage and living in the flat in east london for the minimum ammount of time before doing a transfer...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Stay where you are now, after uni move to council flat and get another job perhaps? Afterall I wouldn't be surprised if half your friends from uni move around after they graduate in order to get a job or whatever.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well do you want a council place or not?
    Of course theyre not always in the best areas. I think youre being overly picky.
    If they make you an offer and you reject it, then they wont be obliged to offer you anything again.
    With all due respect I think that you land on your feet and then you look for more problems
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well do you want a council place or not?
    Of course theyre not always in the best areas. I think youre being overly picky.
    If they make you an offer and you reject it, then they wont be obliged to offer you anything again.
    With all due respect I think that you land on your feet and then you look for more problems

    Agreed. Agreed. Agreed.

    Just take the bloody place they've offered. With regards transport to N and NW London, check out the London Overground. It runs from Stratford, right the way round to Richmond.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tbh, i think its just shock...its somewhere i could call home, and because i haven't had that for so long, it scares me shitless...the idea of actually building my own life outside of an institution...

    I'm gonna go for it...take a deep breath and step into the unknown!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yay. I think it will be really positive, and your mates will all be jealous
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i am shit scared though!

    i've never had the choice of how to decorate or had to pay leccy and gas, and what happens if i get ill or get really lonely? i've always had someon nearby looking out for me, keyworkers or flat mates or someone...

    eek!

    i have got to wait a while though, i have to be part of next tax year...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rachie004 wrote: »
    Do what everyone else does and deal with it? Its called being a grown up and generally part of life

    :yes: Everyone has to do that at some point. (even me, despite being told I should go into supported housing)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rachie, i'm not asking for sympathy here, but most people have a back up plan. if it fucks up they can run back to mummy and daddy, they have people to bail them out, and often they move into an area they know and have friends around...

    i have none of that, and i feel that i really need to sort out some kind of support network. i have that now, and when i move i won't. Its a huge thing for me, and i am getting on and dealing with it, it just need to find some strategies in order to sort myself out if it does go tits up...

    plus i am scared about being stuck in one place, thats something i'm gonna have to get used to, but its weird and i do feel really uneasy about it.

    telling me to just deal with it doesn't help, telling how to deal with it does.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you could find a support network in the next area as well as still having the friends from your old area. Its still London, its still within reachable distance. Its still just rented accomodation, its just with a great landlord and all the security of owning your own home, but without having to do all the repairs.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rachie004 wrote: »
    I don't see what the big fuss is - I moved away from home to an area where I knew no one and had nothing, then I moved again to another area where I again knew no one and had nothing - I'm not talking about just moving round the corner, I moved myself over 100miles away each time. Yes, that was my choice, but you have a choice here too! If moving out of your comfort zone is too horrible and scary for you then don't do it, stay in the area you're in now and then in a couple of years, when friends have moved away, make another post crying because you have no friends left in that area.

    You have to be independent, in time you get to know new people and make friends - but you have to put yourself out there to do it, no one is going to be flocking to you and making an orderly queue outside your door if you don't make the effort. can you get involved with any groups or something in that area before you move? Arrange the appropriate help and services?

    I can't tell you how to because I just go on with it and did what I had to do. I realised that it was ME that had to do it and whining about it on an internet forum wasn't going to change anything or help me.

    Word.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rachie004 wrote: »
    I don't see what the big fuss is - I moved away from home to an area where I knew no one and had nothing, then I moved again to another area where I again knew no one and had nothing - I'm not talking about just moving round the corner, I moved myself over 100miles away each time. Yes, that was my choice, but you have a choice here too! If moving out of your comfort zone is too horrible and scary for you then don't do it, stay in the area you're in now and then in a couple of years, when friends have moved away, make another post crying because you have no friends left in that area.

    You have to be independent, in time you get to know new people and make friends - but you have to put yourself out there to do it, no one is going to be flocking to you and making an orderly queue outside your door if you don't make the effort. can you get involved with any groups or something in that area before you move? Arrange the appropriate help and services?

    I can't tell you how to because I just go on with it and did what I had to do. I realised that it was ME that had to do it and whining about it on an internet forum wasn't going to change anything or help me.

    :yes: I moved 300 miles away when I was 18, and then moved 50 miles away again the next year for uni. As for dealing with it - that's just part of life.

    Not everyone goes running back to mummy and daddy, I've never done that - I can stand on my own two feet. Count yourself lucky that you've been offered a council house, most of us don't get that security.

    It does sound a bit like you're whining about quite a fair situation.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ive never gone back to my mums either
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm not fucking whining. i really don't know why i bother asking for advice here any more because i don't get it i just get told to shut up. every single fucking time!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no everyones advised you to take the council house if you get it because your reasons for not taking it are more short term gratification than long term realistic, and your reasons for possibly not accepting a great chance are having to do things everyone else has to do anyway. It was advice. I think maybe you just wanted to be told that it wasnt a good idea to take it for some reason
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey TT,

    I went through a similar experience a year ago, ended up having to set myself up alone after going through some pretty heavy emotional shit. It is scary and intimidating, so I can understand your post totally. As for practical advice, for gas and leccy and stuff, just make sure you know where the meters are asap after you move in. If someone's been living there before you and it's a readable meter, take a start read and contact your suppliers (they should also be able to help tell you where to find them if you're not sure). If it's prepaid jobby, I think most these are sticks which you can get topped up in local shops and supermarkets (maybe make a note of when you top up to begin with to give yourself some idea how to budget).

    As for being lonely, make sure you get your mates over soon after you're settled, once they know where you are and how to get to the house, I'm sure they'll pop over whenever they can. Although I'm still relatively bad when meeting new people, I think being on my own has made me a bit more confident with this and I've made a few good friends just from randomly going into pubs and people seeing me looking a bit lost haha.

    Also, if you're concerned, maybe visit your doctor before you go and make sure your registered somewhere nearby to where your living. There are crisis teams which can help (also with practical stuff) if you're having a particularly tough time.

    I suppose the best advice I can offer is try to prepare as much as you can, maybe starting with some of the things I've mentioned. Making lists of your concerns and trying to find solutions to worst case scenarios should help make things seem a bit less scary and hopefully make you feel a bit more confident. As it's gonna be your own place, if it were me I'd try to balance the anxiety a bit by thinking of cool, inexpensive ways to put my mark on the place a bit - maybe something like a wish list. Gives you something to think about when you feel a bit meh, and may act as a bit of a motivator?

    Good luck hun and keep us posted! :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm gonna start to think about saving up for doing my place up...am i right in thinking i can paint walls and stuff? and again if i'm not going to be there long before i transfer i guess its not really worth it

    and i thought you could only access the crisis team if you were at risk of being sectioned? cos thats not going to happen!

    I'm hoping i'll get loads of support from social services, my outreach worker is ace, but overworked!

    I'm just completely overwhelmed and i'm gonna have to re-think the next few years...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Paint doesn't cost much and it can really brighten up a council place. They usually seem to be painted in magnolia. Ugh.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rachie004 wrote: »
    I can't tell you how to because I just go on with it and did what I had to do. I realised that it was ME that had to do it and whining about it on an internet forum wasn't going to change anything or help me.

    moron.

    like scc said i think it would be great for you! plus ask your friends for house warming gifts... ha
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i don't know why i'm getting so upset about all of this! sat here crying cos its overwhelming, its a dream come true i get to have my own home for the first time in ten years, but i'm shit scared of being alone, and fucking it up...

    i could sit and obsess for hours about how i'll decorate it, and now i've told my best mate i'm coming back he's really looking forward to having his old drinking partner back! I'm sure him and the boys would be up for helping me paint...

    fuck...this is immence
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i don't know why i'm getting so upset about all of this! sat here crying cos its overwhelming, its a dream come true i get to have my own home for the first time in ten years, but i'm shit scared of being alone, and fucking it up...

    i could sit and obsess for hours about how i'll decorate it, and now i've told my best mate i'm coming back he's really looking forward to having his old drinking partner back! I'm sure him and the boys would be up for helping me paint...

    fuck...this is immence

    That's more like it :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lots of drama in this thread heh.

    Like I said, don't worry for the time being, if you can defer it then do so because you only get to be at University once. Get some nice flatmates and stuff and it'll be grand. After you leave go for it. I don't know the difference between renting privately and a council house but everyone seems to think it's a good thing :p so that's awesome. I think you are getting stressed over it because it is a good thing to have that kind of security there now but I think you should put it to the back of your mind - right now you're at Uni and you should focus on getting good grades and having a good time, so long as the deferral is possible don't even worry about this until you need to.

    I have a range of options after Uni, I might be moving in with a friend as she has kind-of-but-not-really-inherited a house (she gets to live there rent free, basically), or moving back home which could be ok, or just renting wherever the work takes me. I'd love to work abroad for a year or two :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    I don't know the difference between renting privately and a council house


    Our house (private) 3 bed semi £675/month rent
    My mates house (council) 3 bed semi £250/month

    Our lease, shorthold usually 1 year at a time, can be effectively kicked out if he wants to.

    My mates lease, secured tenancy. As long as she pays her rent, looks after the place, nice neighbour etc, she can stay as long as she likes.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you should do it! It will be a really good oppertunity :)

    And yeah you can decorate council houses we live in one and have done for nearly 30years, the only thing they do is if you put a new kitchen in they will take it out when you move and put a council one in :rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    piecesofme wrote: »
    And yeah you can decorate council houses we live in one and have done for nearly 30years, the only thing they do is if you put a new kitchen in they will take it out when you move and put a council one in :rolleyes:

    lol
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think sometimes the council as landlord also has a duty to redecorate - i know that when my ex boyfriend moved into his flat they redecorated it for him - buttttttt he had to choose from a book of limited designs i.e. Magnolia would have been better.

    ETA but they didn't supply carpets so they had to save up for about a year before they had any...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wyetry wrote: »
    I think sometimes the council as landlord also has a duty to redecorate

    :yes: My nan had a new kitchen put in her council house a few years back, most of her road had them at the same time.
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