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Sorry, i'm posting so much but i'm lost...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i've been told that i am not going to be referred on to a psychoanalitical therapist by the charity that were meant to be supporting me.
This really couldn't have come at a worse time. Since having my accident a month ago, i have been a steady decline, and i only noticed actually how bad it was when i was having to stop myself crying on the tube. I've had all the warning signs around for a couple of weeks- increased number of fits, decrease in appetite, wanting to sleep up to 16 hours a day, feeling a bit down, crying quite a bit and being a bit oversensitive, as well as having more flashbacks and ultra vivid dreams, but put them down to being on painkillers i suppose.
This is where i am now stuck. I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and panic disorder when i was 15, since then (nearly 5 years), i have been in therapy pretty much solidly. I've now had therapy on and off for near on 10 years. I feel i am not getting anywhere, and my symptoms are getting more an more complex as i get older. I also got diagnosed with non-epileptic seizures related to my PTSD and panic disorder, 6 months ago. I was told that i had three choices, become an inpatient for a month, which they wanted only as a last resort as i was going to uni, start CBT, which i didn't want to do, because i'd found it had made things worse in the past, or psychoanalitical therapy. I couldn't start the latter with my preivous therapist as i was moving soon after, and my new local NHS trust have not helped and i've had to look else where. I found a young people's charity, who said that i would be seen by them for a number of interviews before they made a decision. They have made a previsional decision not to refer me on, but they told me i would have to provide a financial contribution even if this decision was changed. i can't do this.
My uni can provide some councilling and mentoring, but i was seeing someone, and i found them very offencive and stopped going. I am going to see if i can see someone else, but i don't know if thats going to get it.
I want to go back to the GP and ask for another psychological assesment, as i think the last was very poor, and he really didn't take me or my condition seriously. I'm not even sure that i have just PTSD any more...
I am feeling so alone, i don't feel i can cope, and i have no support network anymore. most of all i am scared about how far this has to go before i will get support.
what the fuck can i do?
This really couldn't have come at a worse time. Since having my accident a month ago, i have been a steady decline, and i only noticed actually how bad it was when i was having to stop myself crying on the tube. I've had all the warning signs around for a couple of weeks- increased number of fits, decrease in appetite, wanting to sleep up to 16 hours a day, feeling a bit down, crying quite a bit and being a bit oversensitive, as well as having more flashbacks and ultra vivid dreams, but put them down to being on painkillers i suppose.
This is where i am now stuck. I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and panic disorder when i was 15, since then (nearly 5 years), i have been in therapy pretty much solidly. I've now had therapy on and off for near on 10 years. I feel i am not getting anywhere, and my symptoms are getting more an more complex as i get older. I also got diagnosed with non-epileptic seizures related to my PTSD and panic disorder, 6 months ago. I was told that i had three choices, become an inpatient for a month, which they wanted only as a last resort as i was going to uni, start CBT, which i didn't want to do, because i'd found it had made things worse in the past, or psychoanalitical therapy. I couldn't start the latter with my preivous therapist as i was moving soon after, and my new local NHS trust have not helped and i've had to look else where. I found a young people's charity, who said that i would be seen by them for a number of interviews before they made a decision. They have made a previsional decision not to refer me on, but they told me i would have to provide a financial contribution even if this decision was changed. i can't do this.
My uni can provide some councilling and mentoring, but i was seeing someone, and i found them very offencive and stopped going. I am going to see if i can see someone else, but i don't know if thats going to get it.
I want to go back to the GP and ask for another psychological assesment, as i think the last was very poor, and he really didn't take me or my condition seriously. I'm not even sure that i have just PTSD any more...
I am feeling so alone, i don't feel i can cope, and i have no support network anymore. most of all i am scared about how far this has to go before i will get support.
what the fuck can i do?
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Comments
Oh my fcuking god that's DISGUSTING the way there treating you do they not understand you're asking for help that you realy need and want and they not giving it to you i'd fcuking complain i really hope you ok and keep me posted god im so mad at them
Hey! It seems like you've been giving it some thought as to what you can do to get the right support - that's great. Going back to the Uni and your GP are both great ideas. Let us know how you get on.
Sound's like you feel let down by the charity and by the other services you have accessed. It doesn't seem fair at all.
One positive thing is that you are very self-aware and can recognise changes in your behaviour and feelings. Continue to post here and follow up some of the things you've suggested and hopefully there will be some light at the end of the tunnel for you.
Take care
Finally a GP who no only seems to understand but has good advice...
She asked me to book another appointment to see her, as she didn't have time to deal with that and my letter that i needed for uni.
When i told her about my diagnosis, her was have i forgiven my abusers...i didn't need to think because i know i haven't. And she's right, i am not going to be fully healed until i do that. She then talked about faith (she's a strict catholic, but by the by, very nice), and said maybe that would help me...
its a hard one, i feel like i need answers, which i may never get.
I think i might have to call my aunty again...called her at xmas after 4 years silence on my part...she might be able to help...
otherwise, nothing much has happened. My friends have started commenting on how i seem really down and not myself...which is not good because i usually hide it well...maybe i'm not bothering any more...