i am talk of the uni...

Former Member

Aparently, the whole uni now knows i slept with someone else on the course, amd its got back to the person i slept with. He's fuming i've told anyone. I am fuming because i told only my close friends, and some how, he's then found out, because one of them has spilt the beans.

basically, i'm really upset now, because i have now lost a couple of friends over this, including the person i've slept with. My life is very difficult right now because i've bust my hip, and i'm on crutches and am going to have to go back to heavy dosage of painkillers for it because i can't stand it any longer.

I want to run away at least for a weekend. i can't handle it all....

Former Member

I don't see what the big deal is with regards sleeping with somebody.

Unfortunately for you, somebody has blown this WAY out of proportion (perhaps yourself as well?) - IMO this isn't something you should lose friends over, unless the guy has a girlfriend that is involved in this.

Point to remember, and it's VERY simple: people talk

Former Member

I don't know what to suggest to be honest. I guess if you really didn't want people to know, you should either have kept it to yourself or not done it in the first place. I guess one of the reasons you are being talked about is because of the fact that you just slept with him and weren't in a relationship with him properly, if this is the one from your other thread? I know it shouldn't matter but a lot of people, for whatever reason, don't look favourably upon people who do this, particularly women. Also, I guess you should maybe look at it from his perspective. How would you feel if he had told his mates and it had gotten round everywhere?

I guess the thing is, to just try to keep your chin up and in future be careful of which aspects of your life other people are privy to.

Former Member

I think you're just going to have to ride this one out....people will loose intrest soon enough. This week it's you, next week they will have somebody else to talk about. People love gossip, next time keep things to yourself. Obviosuly one of your friends (or maybe it was him/his mates) have told others, next time just dont tell them.

Former Member

g_angel wrote: »

I don't see what the big deal is with regards sleeping with somebody.

Unfortunately for you, somebody has blown this WAY out of proportion (perhaps yourself as well?) - IMO this isn't something you should lose friends over, unless the guy has a girlfriend that is involved in this.

Point to remember, and it's VERY simple: people talk

:yes:

Former Member

I can only really echo what anyone else says - people will tell each other things, if you ask them to or not - there's only the special few who will not tell anyone!

People are making a big deal of it - talk to the lad you were with and just apologise that it got out, as that wasn't your intent, but ultimately it's not your fault.

I think everyone is jealous as they haven't had the same lovin':D

Remember - today's news is tomorrow's chip paper!

Former Member

twisted_trinity wrote: »

He's fuming i've told anyone.

I wonder why he wants to keep it quiet anyway? Guys usually almost seem to want to pin their conquests' panties to the flag pole!

Former Member

Teagan wrote: »

I wonder why he wants to keep it quiet anyway? Guys usually almost seem to want to pin their conquests' panties to the flag pole!

Maybe he was on a promise to someone else?

Former Member

Glenn Quagmire wrote: »

Maybe he was on a promise to someone else?

Well, it serves him right then!

Former Member

just dont tell your friends everyone who you sleep with

Bunnie

The whole uni? How small is it?

Like others have said, its not the end of the world. It's just something that has happened. You will now learn not to tell people everything, no matter who they are if you want things to remain a secret.

I would be questioning why this fella is so bothered tbh

Former Member

why have you lost a couple of friends? because you're upset they told more people? fair enough to be pissed off with them, but i wouldnt just cut them off. my friends have told other people things that i would have preferred to be kept quiet, but in the end i just laughed it off and carried on being friends with them. if it was something major it would have been different but i dont think this is too bad.

Former Member

Marina Aniseed wrote: »

I don't know what to suggest to be honest. I guess if you really didn't want people to know, you should either have kept it to yourself or not done it in the first place. I guess one of the reasons you are being talked about is because of the fact that you just slept with him and weren't in a relationship with him properly, if this is the one from your other thread? I know it shouldn't matter but a lot of people, for whatever reason, don't look favourably upon people who do this, particularly women. Also, I guess you should maybe look at it from his perspective. How would you feel if he had told his mates and it had gotten round everywhere?

I guess the thing is, to just try to keep your chin up and in future be careful of which aspects of your life other people are privy to.

I wouldn't have given two shits if he'd told everyone, and i don't care if people think badly of me. I'm just very angry at the people that i trusted. I don't tell all my friends everything, but this was one occation when i needed advice. but after this, it made me wonder if those people were worth having as friends any way, i don't think so...since being incapacitated on crutches, people have really shown their true colours and i'm starting to see who my real friends are.

its just made me so very angry, and he has a problem with everyone knowing, its like he's ashamed of it...why? i'm not, infact i don't regret it...

Former Member

twisted_trinity wrote: »

its just made me so very angry, and he has a problem with everyone knowing, its like he's ashamed of it...why? i'm not, infact i don't regret it...

Well, I'd certainly have a problem if everyone knew who I'd slept with. It's no one's business who I'm sticking it into. I don't blame this guy one bit for his reaction.

I can't help but wonder why you actually needed to tell anyone in the first place that you'd slept with him.

Former Member

Look on the bright side, at least it will quash the rumors about you being a lesbian.

Former Member

haha! yes, thats a good point! silver lining to every cloud!

i told someone because i needed some advice on what to do, because he's very hot cold, and i wondered if this meant anything or not...

obviously it didn't and has just turned into a bit of a soap opera, but anyway...

Former Member

twisted_trinity wrote: »

I wouldn't have given two shits if he'd told everyone, and i don't care if people think badly of me. I'm just very angry at the people that i trusted. I don't tell all my friends everything, but this was one occation when i needed advice. but after this, it made me wonder if those people were worth having as friends any way, i don't think so...since being incapacitated on crutches, people have really shown their true colours and i'm starting to see who my real friends are.

its just made me so very angry, and he has a problem with everyone knowing, its like he's ashamed of it...why? i'm not, infact i don't regret it...

Ok, I appreciate that you're angry, I was only trying to make suggestions. The whole crutches thing is unfortunate too, it's never nice when people are being arses when you need them.

But, I'd just like to raise something else, if I may. You say you don't care if people think badly of you, but then why do you care about his reaction? If he's ashamed then that would imply that he thinks badly of you in some way and you seem to care about it, which would suggest that you do actually care what people think, as well as the fact that you are bothered by everyone knowing. If you weren't bothered, would you have posted or would you have just been pissed with your 'mates' and just drifted on?

As has been said, there's a silver lining to it all, and I hope the people you told gave you at least helpful advice, if nothing else.

I apologise in advance if I am reading in to this a bit much, or incorrectly.

Former Member

i care how he's reacted, because i care about him. i did think i was falling in love with him, but his emotional immaturity has shown me that i deserve someone better and that he is only trouble...

JsT

stargalaxy wrote: »

I can't help but wonder why you actually needed to tell anyone in the first place that you'd slept with him.

Get off your proverbial high horse!

Former Member

tbh, if i wasn't on these instruments of torture, i'd play the whore tomorrow, and wear a wiggle skirt and my leopard print stripper heels, and flirt with everyone male, just to piss him off...

but i can't be arsed, and why should i bother, he doesn't deserve a carefully pieced together satiristic act in his honour...

I'm just gonna go to the SU bar, eat chocolate and get pissed!

Former Member

JsT wrote: »

Get off your proverbial high horse!

Would you care to explain exactly is wrong with the statement I made? Do you have any actual objection to it, aside from the fact I dared to deviates from the line that everyone else is meekly trotting out?

Still, it's nice to see that several posters are still the same intolerant bullies that they always were.

JsT

stargalaxy wrote: »

Still, it's nice to see that several posters are still the same intolerant bullies that they always were.

Good one SG!

Ya know, its fairly normal for girls to talk about boys and for boys to talk about girls. Friends talk about relationships, sex etc etc its fairly normal. Personally I can't see a problem discussing such things with friends.

Of course in order to understand what I'm saying some people need to actually have some friends in the first place.....

Former Member

now now girls...

i like the fact you're having a bitch fight in my honour, but not here!

JsT

:crying: :crying:

Former Member

Twisted: you had sex with a guy. Unless you are studying at a convent then I can't see why anyone should give a flying fudge.

Former Member

good point! and i'm probably on the most incestuous course here as well...

I've had a couple of people ask me whats going on, and i've told them, and all seem to say the same thing "why the fuck is he kicking up such a fuss?" and that both the guy i slept with and the supposed friend that said i was bragging about it are utter cocks.

Former Member

Chalk it up to experience. It happens i'm afraid. Maybe he's just didn't want everyone knowing his private business. Or he could be an arse. Either way at least you know which friends you can trust now. And the rest of the course are only taking the piss because they had you pegged as a lesbian. Just roll with it, don't slag him off or any of your mates to anyone, it'll make you look worse. Just laugh, tell people you don't get what the big deal is and let it just move along by itself. There's nothing you can do now the cats out the bag apart from try and keep your head high and not give anyone the drama they want. As Glenn says, you slept with someone, big deal. I always wonder why people feel the need to make such a song and dance about something so normal (dont mean you i mean the people talking).

Agree with JST as well. Stargalaxy, people have friends because we discuss things. I'm a very private person and rarely discuss my lovelife but with my close couple of friends i will have a talk about it, get advice or share it etc. It's called the way friendships work?