My Ex.

Former Member

Found my ex on facebook a few days ago, I had just joined the site and contacted her because I wanted to see what she looked like now and what she had been up to for the past 5 years. This was my last steady girlfriend. She sent me a reply back today.

Now she is married and has a baby boy with this guy. Thats good, Im really happy that things have worked out well for her. After looking at all her facebook pictures of her and the baby I felt kind of depressed but realized it was more sadness I was feeling. Looks like the last 5 years has been great for her, but for me its been so shitty. Not even a steady girlfriend in all that time.

I don't know wtf has been going on with me lately, I've been so emotional lately, it had better stop soon. After seeing her I got kind of teary eyed but this is so out of character for me. Im a rock nothing ever fazes me that badly, but I just couldn't seem to deal with this very well.

For me the last 5 years has really flown by. Before the last couple of weeks I thought I was happy not worried that I wasn't with anyone because I figured eventually someone good will come along for me. I do want a wife and kids one day but I guess I want it alot more then I thought. But I guess Im not really that happy with the way things are for me now.

I don't know what Im expecting you all to say about this just want to get it off my chest. Im not the type that talks about this stuff with friends and family. It would be kinda embarassing for me to talk about this in front of them.

Any comments or advices would be appreciated. Hope Im not having some sorta breakdown or something. Probably not.

Thanks for reading, have a nice day.

Former Member

i think its natural that even when youre totally over someone, things like this will make you feel a bit shaken up. The trick is to not dwell on it. Peoples lives move in different directions and at different paces

Former Member

Aww hope ur ok i been like that once before was u not thinking wish i was stil with her maybe there some1 out there for you it always happens when u least expect it too x:yippe: :wave:

Former Member

This is normal i presume i felt sort of odd when i stumbled across my first girlfriends myspace ages ago..but i closed it n got on with things n then it was ok just try not to go back their to nosey around or itll most likely get worse

Former Member

Aj fan wrote: »

Aww hope ur ok i been like that once before was u not thinking wish i was stil with her maybe there some1 out there for you it always happens when u least expect it too x:yippe: :wave:

I'll be okay, that never happened to me before. Thanks for the comments everyone.

I was over her a long time ago. Thing is I sent her this kinda long email and she responded with a two sentence response. I was expecting something like hey how are you, good to hear from you, lets catch up, what have you been up to response. But no she just said to add me to her friend list and I could see her facebook pics.

Guess I was hopeing that we could catch up with one another and be friends. Maybe she was kinda shocked that I contacted her and didn't know what to say. But things are different now she has this whole new life and can't expect her to be friendly with me, an ex boyfriend. Thanks again everyone.

Former Member

np i guess hope i helped :P

Former Member

grahaminneed wrote: »

This is normal i presume i felt sort of odd when i stumbled across my first girlfriends myspace ages ago..but i closed it n got on with things n then it was ok just try not to go back their to nosey around or itll most likely get worse

Your probably right. Just wanted to know what she had been up to all this time. Think I'll send her one more email back because theres a couple of things I want to tell her and leave it at that. She wasn't very chatty with me so I guess we can't even be friends now.

Former Member

Considering that I've just responded to your post about the girl you talk to online and now I've seen this, is it not possible that you're just lonely?

Former Member

Ineedhelp71 wrote: »

so I guess we can't even be friends now.

This shouldn't be something you want. This can't be really a friendship, can it?

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote: »

This shouldn't be something you want. This can't be really a friendship, can it?

Let me explanin. I didn't think I would be having any dinner dates with them or even hanging out with them. Just thought I could send her an email every now and then, nothing regular, just to say hi thats all.

Former Member

The Convincer wrote: »

Considering that I've just responded to your post about the girl you talk to online and now I've seen this, is it not possible that you're just lonely?

What did you mean by its not possible that Im just lonely?

Before I met the online girl and my ex a couple of days ago I didn't think that I was lonely at all. Everything seemed to be okay with me. Maybe after those two experiences I realized that I want more.

I've been over the ex for a long time. Trust me I don't want her back even if there was a chance. I enjoyed our time together in that part of my life. I was happy and loved her very much.

Don't even know why I started this thread, basically just to tell someone. Because that type of thing had never happened to me before.

Former Member

Ineedhelp71 wrote: »

Let me explanin. I didn't think I would be having any dinner dates with them or even hanging out with them. Just thought I could send her an email every now and then, nothing regular, just to say hi thats all.

You are not doing that, because she is a good friendly person. She actually does the right thing by being a tad short with you. You are doing it, because you want to relate with her in any way. I know everyone keeps fooling oneself in this department. You are doing it, because you promise yourself some kind of gain, which ultimately leads to disappointment.

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote: »

You are not doing that, because she is a good friendly person. She actually does the right thing by being a tad short with you. You are doing it, because you want to relate with her in any way. I know everyone keeps fooling oneself in this department. You are doing it, because you promise yourself some kind of gain, which ultimately leads to disappointment.

I don't think Im looking for some kind of gain with her at all. Her and I were a long time ago and we've both moved on. If she said to me that I don't think talking with each other is a good idea, I would be fine with that and respect her wishes.

Former Member

I'm a bit young to be commenting on this I s'pose, but thinking now it is a bit of a strange thought from my stance. I've not lost touch with a girlfriend for years and found that she's moved on, had a kid 'n everything, but I think it must seem a bit odd when just a few years ago you two were probably thinking of doing that yourselves.... and now she's done all that with someone else.

But I think it's too easy to swell on the past, it;'s not always for the best. I stumbled across a Facebook page myself of a relative of an ex once, even saw an old grainy picture of my former missus. Horrible, brought it all back, at which point I just went for the 'X' in the top right-hhand corner in a flash.

I think first loves, you best love, or whatever, is always one that you'll never truely get over. The only way of coping I guess is to move on and build a new life with a new set of goals and new company, a distraction from the past almost, but something that's ultimately for the best.

Former Member

She might not want to catch up with an ex, and might have found the email a bit weird considering the situation she is in with having a completely different life now.

Former Member

MrG wrote: »

She might not want to catch up with an ex, and might have found the email a bit weird considering the situation she is in with having a completely different life now.

Your right. Just thought I would say hi to her thats all, if she doesn't want any communication with me thats fine.

Former Member

So I got an email from the ex today. She told me what she had been doing for the past 5 years. She went back to school and now she has a great job, Im happy for her.

In the future I don't think Im going to be emailing her that much, if any. This is going to be my last post in this thread, I consider it closed. Thanks for everyones thoughts and opinions about this. I appreciate it very much.