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Complicated. Is it just a use?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Right, there isn't alot of place I can go for advice so.. y'know.
Anyway, this boy of whom is a friend but not a really close one, wants to have sex with me. We're not together though, we have kissed before but have simply forgotten about it/pretended it never happened for certain reasons.
If I go through with this, it'll be my first time. I've done most things bar actual sex. Now, this guy is bound to tell his friends, because they've all liked me at one point and you know how guys like to boast. :yes:
At first, I was just like.. 'Er.. okay,' :yeees: The idea didn't really bother me in other words. Then I spoke to some friends about it because this guy's arranged the time and place and everything. One friend said that I'll be considered easy if I go through with it seeing as I'm not actually with him. Another friend said that it was only a bit of fun and if I'm fine with it then it's okay, especially as my friends know that this boy has been after me for months.
I'm okay with the idea of having sex with this guy, seeing as he's done it before etc. etc. I'm just worried, that socially, this will cause more problems. I've recently had friend problems. I wont bore you with the details but it hasn't been pretty. :shocking:
Anyway, is he just using me? Any advice at all would really be appreciated.
x
Anyway, this boy of whom is a friend but not a really close one, wants to have sex with me. We're not together though, we have kissed before but have simply forgotten about it/pretended it never happened for certain reasons.
If I go through with this, it'll be my first time. I've done most things bar actual sex. Now, this guy is bound to tell his friends, because they've all liked me at one point and you know how guys like to boast. :yes:
At first, I was just like.. 'Er.. okay,' :yeees: The idea didn't really bother me in other words. Then I spoke to some friends about it because this guy's arranged the time and place and everything. One friend said that I'll be considered easy if I go through with it seeing as I'm not actually with him. Another friend said that it was only a bit of fun and if I'm fine with it then it's okay, especially as my friends know that this boy has been after me for months.
I'm okay with the idea of having sex with this guy, seeing as he's done it before etc. etc. I'm just worried, that socially, this will cause more problems. I've recently had friend problems. I wont bore you with the details but it hasn't been pretty. :shocking:
Anyway, is he just using me? Any advice at all would really be appreciated.
x
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Comments
First up, I can't see how he would be 'using' you. He's said he wants to have sex with you, you seem to have agreed, and it doesn't sound like you're wanting a relationship or anything more from him. Win-win situation, assuming you are indeed cool with it. He's been honest with you. No using at all.
Second, screw the whole 'easy' thing (excuse the pun). If you want to do it, you do. It's not a case of being easy, it's you doing something you want to do. In the long run, who cares what people think about something so trivial. Your friend with this view:
has it spot on. You don't have to be romantically involved with somebody to enjoy sex.
Bottom line is, just make sure you want to do it, and that you're cool with the deal. Be safe, too.
But the only real question is do you actually want to have sex with him, ignoring what anyone else will think? Because if you're attracted to each other and want to do it, then what anyone else thinks should be irrelevant. But it sounds to me like he cares a great deal about what his friends think.
I don't see that as using at all. He's been chasing her for months, and guys will always boast a bit. I don't think that is his sole intention. His intention is to have sex with her - and he's been up front about it.
That isn't using if she is fine with that.
I'm just offering a possibility. After all, she would've have posted if she felt it was a simple as you've suggested.
God, I'm so confused. And yes, he is the type that really cares what his friends say and yes, I did like him as more than a friend at one point but that didn't last long. And now.. Well.. Yeahh..
Will this just cause more problems?
I guess I don't want commitment. It's not a nessecity but, with all things, if it's on the table I'll take it. Not really bothered though.
If that makes any sense at all.
Just be careful you're not settling for something when you really want something else. That's a sure-fire way to make it even more painful when you don't get it.
To be honest, I just find it weird that people have conversations about whether or not they're going to have sex. That just makes the whole thing seem so unnatural, or forced.
But yup, it's up to you and whatever you think you'd be happy doing.