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Phone = Fall out
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So I'm seeing this great guy and everything is going well. We're currently doing things long distance though and we've been talking a lot by text and phone but it's been causing a few problems.
I was supposed to phone him after I got in from a night out yesterday, but instead I ended up going back to a friend's. I didn't want to rinse my credit as I have done that quite a bit recently, so I get free texts and text him that I wasn't going to call because I wasn't going home. Next thing I know he's spazzing out and is like "Why couldn't you phone me to tell that? If you say you're going to do something then do it. I knew that this would happen when you went out, I knew you'd end up going somewhere else and this would happen."
Obviously I got a bit upset, I don't think I did anything particularly wrong but ended up having a proper barney and made him somewhat paranoid. Even after we made up he was texting me and talking to me and phoned me again just to make sure we were ok. Which was fine but it was a bit rude considering I was at a friend's house.
I've said to him in future that if either of us goes out with friends whether for one beer or a proper night out without each other we shouldn't text or ring because it leads to crossed wires and we end up having a barney because he gets all snippy. He's not being controlling as such but just annoying. I understand that its hard for him, I've done a long distance thing before and I know how it works, whereas he hasn't.
How do I reassure him that everything is ok, because now he's scared that he's going to accidently do something to piss me off and fuck it all up.
I was supposed to phone him after I got in from a night out yesterday, but instead I ended up going back to a friend's. I didn't want to rinse my credit as I have done that quite a bit recently, so I get free texts and text him that I wasn't going to call because I wasn't going home. Next thing I know he's spazzing out and is like "Why couldn't you phone me to tell that? If you say you're going to do something then do it. I knew that this would happen when you went out, I knew you'd end up going somewhere else and this would happen."
Obviously I got a bit upset, I don't think I did anything particularly wrong but ended up having a proper barney and made him somewhat paranoid. Even after we made up he was texting me and talking to me and phoned me again just to make sure we were ok. Which was fine but it was a bit rude considering I was at a friend's house.
I've said to him in future that if either of us goes out with friends whether for one beer or a proper night out without each other we shouldn't text or ring because it leads to crossed wires and we end up having a barney because he gets all snippy. He's not being controlling as such but just annoying. I understand that its hard for him, I've done a long distance thing before and I know how it works, whereas he hasn't.
How do I reassure him that everything is ok, because now he's scared that he's going to accidently do something to piss me off and fuck it all up.
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Comments
Why??
Long distance relationships are tough and that's something that both of you realise, but something that both of you really want to make happen. He certainly does, though he seems to be going about it in the wrong way. I think he just wants to make sure that phone calls will happen and that this kind of thing isn't going to happen all the time. Reassure him that you really want to be in touch with him and keep things going, but he needs to know that you have friends that you want to spend time with. Surely he does too?
I think both he and you are clearly finding it difficult, so I think you both need to make compromises. If you change your plans, let him know as soon as you do and vice versa. He needs reassurance, I think.
That's the thing with new relationships - it's both exciting and daunting getting to know someone. Glad you guys worked it out though cause it sounds like he's a great guy. Enjoy the weekend!