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Don't know what to do
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi, okay I've never told some people some of this so it's pretty hard for me to say.
I just feel as though i can't cope any more and that things are just getting too much for me. A lot of things have hapened in the last year at home, my parents got divorced, my dad moved out, it may not sound a lot but it changes things a lot. My mums always struggling for money because she doesnt earn as much as my dad therefore doesnt have as much. My dad had an affair for 3 years and when my mum found out about 2 years I found out then, although they didnt know this and I kept it to myself for about 1 1/2 years before i told a few of my friends.
I hate the way i look and i hate my body i am really insecure about myself. If you asked my friends that they'd prob say differently but thats because I always have to put this happy face on and im sick of it and deep down feel as though i'm about to crack. Only about one person knows the real me and it's not as though we're best mates or anything
I used to have lots of good mates but I don't know what's hapenned, whether i've changed, or if they have. My best mate is more interested in her bf and thats all she goes on about all the time... boys. It's really awkward because she's this really pretty model so can get all the attention from any guy she wants which always makes me feel put down when i'm with her, as i'm not the prettiest of people which doesn't help. I tried telling one of my closest mates this morning how I was feeling but she wouldn't really listen just kind of ignored what I was saying to her and changed the subject.
I just feel so lonely like know one cares anymore. I'm home by myself nearly all the time and I know that's a good thing but it makes me seriously lonely. My mum cares but she acts as though she couldn't give a fuck, she lets me do anything I want which is gud as i can out whenever I want but it means I could have taken serious drugs, or be sleeping around for all she knew, am only 15! My grandpas dying at the mo with lung cancer so all my family are really stressed and just take things out on me all the time because they're all in that mood and ive just had enough of it.
I don't know how it's hapenned but ive become obsessed with what I eat, which is hardly anything at all. It's horrible because everything I eat I look at the calorie content and a piece of food with as little as 20 extra calories than something else, I won't eat it. This afternoon I was just really fed up I went on a binge eat and then tried to throw it all up afterwards, I never thought i would bring myself to do something like that.
I've also just tried cutting myself, I cant bring myself to do it properly but I dont know whats got into me because a while ago I wouldn't have dreamed of doing anything like that and I dont want to do it again but i know i probably will.
I just feel really stressed as ive got exams next week and have hardly done any revision at all, which i know is my own fault but i just havent felt doing any because ive been feeling like this. I hate going to skool because I feel as if no one cares and everyone judges you becasue thats the type of skool it is I go to.
I've never been an open person but I just wish more people knew the real me, instead of the person i choose to show them. Ive also become so emotional recently i just brake down in tears and cant stop for ages. I just feel so stupid because some of my mates are going through a lot of tough things in their lives and my thigns feel so insignificant.
Anyway, i cant believe im telling all my deepest feelings to a bunch of strangers that i dont know, no offense meant or anything.
p.s. sarah, if you do read this by any chance, please can you not say anything to anyone as i would prefer it if they didnt know. thanxs babes xxxxx
I just feel as though i can't cope any more and that things are just getting too much for me. A lot of things have hapened in the last year at home, my parents got divorced, my dad moved out, it may not sound a lot but it changes things a lot. My mums always struggling for money because she doesnt earn as much as my dad therefore doesnt have as much. My dad had an affair for 3 years and when my mum found out about 2 years I found out then, although they didnt know this and I kept it to myself for about 1 1/2 years before i told a few of my friends.
I hate the way i look and i hate my body i am really insecure about myself. If you asked my friends that they'd prob say differently but thats because I always have to put this happy face on and im sick of it and deep down feel as though i'm about to crack. Only about one person knows the real me and it's not as though we're best mates or anything
I used to have lots of good mates but I don't know what's hapenned, whether i've changed, or if they have. My best mate is more interested in her bf and thats all she goes on about all the time... boys. It's really awkward because she's this really pretty model so can get all the attention from any guy she wants which always makes me feel put down when i'm with her, as i'm not the prettiest of people which doesn't help. I tried telling one of my closest mates this morning how I was feeling but she wouldn't really listen just kind of ignored what I was saying to her and changed the subject.
I just feel so lonely like know one cares anymore. I'm home by myself nearly all the time and I know that's a good thing but it makes me seriously lonely. My mum cares but she acts as though she couldn't give a fuck, she lets me do anything I want which is gud as i can out whenever I want but it means I could have taken serious drugs, or be sleeping around for all she knew, am only 15! My grandpas dying at the mo with lung cancer so all my family are really stressed and just take things out on me all the time because they're all in that mood and ive just had enough of it.
I don't know how it's hapenned but ive become obsessed with what I eat, which is hardly anything at all. It's horrible because everything I eat I look at the calorie content and a piece of food with as little as 20 extra calories than something else, I won't eat it. This afternoon I was just really fed up I went on a binge eat and then tried to throw it all up afterwards, I never thought i would bring myself to do something like that.
I've also just tried cutting myself, I cant bring myself to do it properly but I dont know whats got into me because a while ago I wouldn't have dreamed of doing anything like that and I dont want to do it again but i know i probably will.
I just feel really stressed as ive got exams next week and have hardly done any revision at all, which i know is my own fault but i just havent felt doing any because ive been feeling like this. I hate going to skool because I feel as if no one cares and everyone judges you becasue thats the type of skool it is I go to.
I've never been an open person but I just wish more people knew the real me, instead of the person i choose to show them. Ive also become so emotional recently i just brake down in tears and cant stop for ages. I just feel so stupid because some of my mates are going through a lot of tough things in their lives and my thigns feel so insignificant.
Anyway, i cant believe im telling all my deepest feelings to a bunch of strangers that i dont know, no offense meant or anything.
p.s. sarah, if you do read this by any chance, please can you not say anything to anyone as i would prefer it if they didnt know. thanxs babes xxxxx
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