In a bit of a pickle

Former Member

This may be a bit of a long story. But basically I've developed an inconvinient crush on the guy I work with.
Firstly, he's got a bit of a reputation as a ladies man... That doesn't particulally bother me as much as the rest of the stuff though, cos most of it is stuff that he did in his teens and the rest is gossip.
He's been sort of seeing an ex of his who got in touch with him again after he split up with the girl he was with before. But she won't let it be a proper relationship... for reasons that I don't really understand. She sounds pretty much like she's messing with his head and being a bit of a psycho bitch to be honest... And I reckon she's using him for sex. But anyway... The other day he said to me that he's trying to get his head around the fact that it's not going to work out... because he wants to believe that it will but I think realises somewhere that he's being a bit unrealistic. (Partly probably cos all his friends and family don't think it'll work and he's too scared to tell his dad that he's been seeing her again because he knows he'll go mad at him cos this girl really fucked him around the first time they went out).

AAAAAANYWAY... During this whole malarky, I've been finding myself more and more attracted to him... although he's really not my usual type. And I feel like I can talk to him about stuff that I can't talk to anyone else about, and I know stuff about him that he doesn't tell anyone else and we just get on really well.
People at work keep teasing us and saying we flirt loads with eachother and the other day they were saying that they thought we'd end up married etc etc etc...
There was a plan to try and get us off with eachother at our work Christmas party on Saturday - But nothing happened - execpt me aparently keeping pushing him over (which I don't remember), and grabbing his arse... which I do remember, but I smack his bum all the time anyway. lol.

So now... I've convinced myself that he doesn't like me... for several reasons... Such as, I've seen the types of girls he goes for, including the person he's seeing or not seeing at the moment, and they tend to be on the curvy side and I am skinny... he's even commented before about liking something to cuddle - meaning I am aparently too thin to be cuddly.
And I dunno... I guess the rest of it might be stuff I've talked myself into because I have low self-esteem at the moment and feel like I'm not the kind of girl that guys fall for - cos to be honest from my experience I constantly see guys going out with girls who are bitchy cows and treat them like crap, but it seems to work for them so, whatever.

The problem is, at first it was just a sexual attraction and now I think it's developing into something more.
He does flirt a lot. And he does stuff like pick me up... But rather than it feeling like a little harmless flirtation now, every time we start the banter and stuff now it seems to be drawing me in more, and I don't know what to do cos I've started to feel depressed at work now cos I have to see him all the time and know that I can't have him and I'm all confused and frustrated.

My other problem is that even when I was bladdered, I still couldn't admit to my other friends at work that I liked him when they asked me point blank... If you can't say it when you're drunk and your inabitions are down, when can you?
I have a massive problem with rejection cos every guy I've liked hasn't liked me in the same way and I've always ended up hurt.
I don't know what to do.

It's not a good idea to say anything is it, cos he's hung up on this girl?

I dunno what I'd say if I did say anything anyway. Or how.

I'm rubbish at knowing if guys are just flirting or if they like me too.

Damn it!

Former Member

I think you should lay the cards out on the table if you think he might like you. At least that would clear the air.

Problem is though that you work together and you have to make sure that it wouldn't put you in an awkward position.

Why not tell him how you feel? Who cares about this other lassie?