help me

Former Member

im 16 in a relationship with an 18 year old she has a child who is four months old and i love them both to pieces the child is not mine
but i dont know how to tell my parents she has a child :banghead:

Former Member

hi,

me is new too!!!

Not an expert but I can try to help.

What is it that you are finding the hardest?

Former Member

I think at 16 you're too young to be taking on someone else's child. The child is her's not yours and yes you should love it if you want to be with her but don't take on any responsibility just yet. You both need to prove that the relationship witll work before you take on the daddy role.

Tell your parents in a matter of fact way. The longer you leave that info out the more concerned they will get. Also make sure you tell your parents that you like the idea of her having a kid but have not made any promises of providing for them yet. Your parents are there for you and should support and guide you. I warn you they probably won't be impressed and they will probably tell you this relationship is a bad idea but if you really like her than just stick by her. Take on your parents scornfulk words and say "I respect what your saying mom but i want to try and make the relationship work.

Your parents are more likely to support you if your an adult about the whole thing

Former Member

what a difficult situation.

What i really think, is that you need to tread very very carefully here. Not for your sake or your girlfriends or your parents sake, but for the sake of the baby. Youre very young yourself and this baby could get very attached to you and it isnt fair at all unless youre damn sure youre going to stick around long term, and i dont see how at 16 you could really know that. It would be different if she was keeping the baby seperate to the relationship, but the way you say you already love the child, suggests that isnt the case.

Former Member

i understand but the fact is i dont get on with my parents at all and im only happy when im staying with my girlfirend

Former Member

yh erm well the baby is kind of getting attached to me and im not going to leave her as i have decided im going to treat the baby as if it is mine and id never leave a relationship if i had a child

Former Member

Don't tell them.

Former Member

well if i was you i would tell your parents straight out. they proabably wont like it but its better them finding out now than in the future some other way. dont let your parents tell you not to be with this girl if you like her thou. however you have to realise that there is a baby, a human life, all in this aswell. just be carefull.

Former Member

ok

Former Member

chris1992 wrote: »

yh erm well the baby is kind of getting attached to me and im not going to leave her as i have decided im going to treat the baby as if it is mine and id never leave a relationship if i had a child

Take the gravity of that statement into consideration, you are 16, you would never leave the relationship if you had a child to consider - so for the next 15 years and 8 months you will be with this girl come hell or high water?

Its an awfully large sacrifice to make just because you dont like your parents.

Luckily babies have no permanant memory before they are 3 so you can have your fun with her and not fuck the baby in the head, but try to *think* more long term than next week about exactly what you are getting yourself into.

Former Member

I think that 16 is too young to make decisions that quickly. Ok, so you do not get on with your parents...but you should try to tell them even if it is that hard. It is like keeping it all a secret and if they were to find out third party ...it would be so much better if you told them and then you can get on with enjoying your relationship. You must not make any rash decisions at all as it will effect the rest of your life. Do you really want to become a parent so young and have no social life? Good luck with what you decide.