If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Being offered a threesome.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
That´s the jist of the story. Last night I was working as a promoter at a nightclub, and was talking to my work partner, when he took me aside and seriously proposed that I have a threesome with him and his current girl. He suggested that I met up with his girlfriend, who is ´bi-curious´ and also happens to be a model, to see if we got on. If we like each other, then maybe the three of us could meet for dinner and just see how things pan out.
I, myself am bisexual, and quite a liberal person - currently being in an open relationship with another boy. I told him I would mull it over, and he seemed happy with the answer. We continued talking for the rest of the shift, finishing the night in the club, and eventually ended up kissing. We decided to go to another club night together sometime next week, and as far as I can tell, if I go, I will probably end up going back to his place afterwards (but sans other girl).
I get a good feeling from this guy, and apart from the fact that he is very attractive, we can get on really well and I think could still be really amicable without any of the ´extras´ affecting our behaviour towards each other around other people. And this seems to be a good way to try the threesome thing - with people I get on well with, but with no serious attatchments.
However, I am not ENTIRELY comfortable with the whole thing, and although open to experimentation, haven´t completely made up my mind about it.
Thoughts on the matter would be appreciated! xx
I, myself am bisexual, and quite a liberal person - currently being in an open relationship with another boy. I told him I would mull it over, and he seemed happy with the answer. We continued talking for the rest of the shift, finishing the night in the club, and eventually ended up kissing. We decided to go to another club night together sometime next week, and as far as I can tell, if I go, I will probably end up going back to his place afterwards (but sans other girl).
I get a good feeling from this guy, and apart from the fact that he is very attractive, we can get on really well and I think could still be really amicable without any of the ´extras´ affecting our behaviour towards each other around other people. And this seems to be a good way to try the threesome thing - with people I get on well with, but with no serious attatchments.
However, I am not ENTIRELY comfortable with the whole thing, and although open to experimentation, haven´t completely made up my mind about it.
Thoughts on the matter would be appreciated! xx
0
Comments
because she will be involved? Without her it wouldn't be a threesome?
I'd say go for it too. Sex is like pizza, even if it's bad it's still quite good. Check out if your boy has any troubles with it, tho, if you your rlship isn't as open as an butthole after an cavity search from bud spencer.
o shit my bus got to go.
But she it would seem has no idea that he has been courting someone else on the side. By the sound of it he just wants to have an affair infront of his girlfriend, which is bound to end badly.
this is all without the other girl being there at all
Bingo, he's in a relationship so he shouldnt be playing around. If he AND his GF decide that they want a threesome and decide together who it should be with then that is totally different.
Hmmm....
I assumed she knows of course, but maybe it was all a clever ruse.
I'd perhaps be a little cautious of sleeping with this guy first alone, before even meeting his girlfriend. It would be very important to me to actually know whether I like these people both together and separately, whether their relationship is open or not.
0k, so she has known all along what was going on. They also have an open relationship, and it is more like fuck buddies for them than anything else. He has told her everything as it has happened, and gave me her email address. I have been talking to her online, and seriously questioned her as to her own thoughts on this. She seemed pretty adamant that this was as much her idea as his.
I ended up hooking up with the guy last night, it was good fun, nice and casual, and i think that it could work well.
BUT does anyone have any horror stories?
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.
Personally, I would have asked to meet her in person before fooling around with her boyfriend. An email address/msn is just that, you don't know if the person is actually behind it. If she's fine with you getting physically involved with her boyfriend, then fine, but it strikes me as if you haven't really thought this through enough to only now be asking about situations where things have gone wrong etc.
I don't like using the term, but as a 'secondary' person in the primary relationship, you really need to think long and hard about what your needs are, and if they're not being met by this couple, you need to make that clear. For instance, for me to be in that situation, I'd need to meet both the couple together and separately for my own reassurance and comfort. It's easy to be sucked into the novelty of, "Wow, they both want me for this, this and this," but you must think of what's important for you too.
thats what i was thinking
And it's not really going behind anyone's back. Both of the girls that he is sleeping with know about me, infact I met the other one last night, and we got on very well. Same goes for him - he has been introduced to the guy I have been seeing.
When I talked to her on facebook it, we did decide to take a coffee together before I leave for London for a week. It's not like I'm jumping into anything. I've given myself a week away to decide between meeting her and talking to them both again, whether it is something I am interested in. The only thing is she leaves to work for an agency in Panama next month, and doesn't know when she'll be back, so there is a limited time period.
Sorry if I haven't been clear about all of this, but I know that right now I am not 'going behind anyones back' because there is noone's back to go behind! All I wanted was some helpful advice, but now I'm more confused than ever, because, well, a lot of judgements are I got from some of you were negative, but not for the right reasons. But that might be my fault for not presenting all the facts...
:chin:
That aside, you're always going to get some negative responses about the nature of open relationships anyway, as most people are monogamous and it's difficult to comprehend different boundaries when you're in another paradigm completely. There are poly uk mailing lists out there for over 18s if you ever wanted to speak to more like minded people. Good luck and have fun.
If you're entirely comfortable then go for it, but the very fact you're asking for advice and "horror stories" rings alarm bells for me; you don't seem all that sure.
Huh? I was just pointing out I think she lives in London now. Way to read too much into something...!
Good. Don't make me come over there!
I live in Barcelona. Not that there aren't any monogamous people here, it's just I haven't met any!
Remember you work with this guy, are you going to feel comfortable with him afterwards? Take the advice of everyone and get to know both well and make sure it's what you all really want before it's to late.