Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

love rat

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Me and my mates need some advice, and ideas please.

A guy mate of ours is a serial cheat and we want ways of telling his gf, who is lovely and really dnt deserve to be treated this way. problem is if it gets back to us that we were the ones who told her then it would split up our freindship circle. I know it sounds really immature and we should just grow some balls and tell her face to face. But truth be told, we dont have the balls. and i dont just mean cos we're girls, the blokes in our group dont want to be the ones to do it either, but they have all said that if asked by the gf then they wouldnt lie.

Also there is the problem of proof. She has been told before, but he has managed to weasle his way out of it by yet more lying, and making out the teller to be crazy, or jelous or "we just had a row of course they want revenge".

it just makes me so mad. He's been with this girl for over 2 years and has probably slept with at least 20 other girls.

We dont want to fuck up this guys life, and still want him around cos cheating aside, he can be a sound bloke, but its just the way he treats his gf that I dont want him to get away with.

Can you think of ways that we could tell her that wouldnt be traceable. I'm thought of hiring a honey trap but that can cost alot of money, and non of the girls I know thatthis guy hasnt bonked are willing to prositute themselves lol. Fair play to them. Probably wise, even the ones who have been there wont even go there again.

so yea...lil help here people

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell him your going to tell her unless he confesses.

    Sometimes with your friends now matter much you care for them you have to let them make their own mistakes.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wait till she finds out that you all knew and didnt do anything about it, how would that make her feel.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My opinion: Don't get involved.

    If she doesn't want to believe it anyways and just shuts her ears going, "LALALALALA!" when someone wants to tell you: don't.get.involved.

    I did get involved in relationship issues in the past and it always was me in the end who was the asshole. It might not be fair on your girl-friend, but if she doesn't even want to know (as opposed to be depressed all the time, just waiting for him to break up) you are JUST HARMING YOURSELF. You will lose him as a friend, be in a conflict with her and you'll have issues with those who stand on her side in the end.

    really, don't stir this shit up, it's not worth being the martyr.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ThingyJigg, does he cheat with other girls in front of you?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    listen better

    JUST STAY OUT OF IT U WILL BETTER OFF THAT WAY!!!!!
    :yes:
    :wave:
    :banghead:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    J'agree with MrG. You should just man up and tell her that you love her, and don't want to upset her, but he's screwing around behind her back a lot.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    J'agree with MrG. You should just man up and tell her that you love her, and don't want to upset her, but he's screwing around behind her back a lot.

    I suppose she could go to the guy in qustion and say to him that she knows he is screwing around behind his girlfriend's back and because the girlfriend is a friend of her's too, that unless he changes his ways, she will be forced to tell the the girlfriend.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Even if he changed his ways though, how would you feel if all your friends knew your OH had been messing about and didn't tell you? I'd be devastated. I've had friends tell me my partner has been xxx and they did it very sensitively and I really respected them a lot for telling me.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    Even if he changed his ways though, how would you feel if all your friends knew your OH had been messing about and didn't tell you?

    She knows that, she's just in denial. Those are the worst.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ThingyJigg wrote: »
    A guy mate of ours is a serial cheat and we want ways of telling his gf, who is lovely and really dnt deserve to be treated this way. problem is if it gets back to us that we were the ones who told her then it would split up our freindship circle.
    Yeah? And where's the problem with that?

    If I were you, I would personally have no problem whatsoever with telling his girlfriend just what a cheating piece of crap her boyfriend really is. If she believes me, great - she has the option to break free from him. If she doesn't, and she finds out later, don't say I didn't warn you! So there's a risk our friendship would be over? Can't see that as being a problem. A person's actions speak volumes about their character, and this guy sounds simply awful. I wouldn't want to know someone like that.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not sure if anyone's said this but you're a shit friend and no matter what this guy's done he'd be better off without backstabbers like you. You're friendship circle should be split up because you clearly don't have your friends best interests at heart. And your friend sounds a total dick, so why do you want to be friends with him anyway?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not sure if anyone's said this but you're a shit friend and no matter what this guy's done he'd be better off without backstabbers like you. You're friendship circle should be split up because you clearly don't have your friends best interests at heart. And your friend sounds a total dick, so why do you want to be friends with him anyway?


    A tad harsh...?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok in response to dietrichswhore, i am involved with whats going on and i know on my behalf that he is definately not a friend as he done the exact same thing to myself and another girl who i am really close mates with now.
    he has currently had to move away to hertford (or wherever) as he is f*cking everything up and is realising that he isn't in control of well....anything
    the reason why we are finding it hard to tell her is the fact that he has this wierd control (the only control) over girls, its almost as if he clicks his fingers or says something and they fall.....remember this happened to me too, at first i was exactly like this other girl and just shrugged it off, but i actually got told and saw it for myself and sayd "bye bye" to him.
    so we arent backstabbers and i am definately not a friend i just dont want this girl going down the same route as me.....

    yes i have been told from a very good friend that he is still trying to pick girls up as he handed his phone number to a girl who worked at McD's i mean christ!!!
  • Options
    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,286 Skive's The Limit
    For me it would depnd on how freindly I am with the girl friend.

    If you're only aquiantance then as a mate you have an obligation to tell him that he's being a cunt and make sure he's knows it. But I would refrain from telling her as I'd feel I have no duty to and leave it at that.

    If however she was somebody I'd also class as a friend, somebody I also cared about, then I'd put an ultimatum to the cheating mate to sort it out or get grassed up. No point in stitching people up for past activities if he sorts himself out, but if he continues then it's only fair to inform the girl.
    Weekender Offender 
Sign In or Register to comment.