If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Lack of Lube Problem
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
This is starting to become a REAL problem and Im starting to think there is something wrong with me as this has never been a problem before...:sour:
Ive been with my Boyfriend
for nearly 6 months, we have managed everything except sex...
the main reason (at first) was that my boyfriend was uncomfortable as i was raped and abused when i was younger, which made him feel slightly uneasy...:yeees:
I understood this perfectly altho i have to admit it upset me a little.
NOW... i think he is ready but its taken that long and really been playin on my mind that he thinks im tainted or something that i find it really hard to even get turned on now :banghead:
I mean i have moments but I no he has started to notice im not getting wet and i think he is starting to think its him.
Its really not, and im getting frustrated because i cant even seem to do it even if i am in the mood.
This has never been a problem before, altho sex before this has only really been casual i.e didnt really mean much?
I dont no how im supposed to get over this?!?
Help?
:crying:
[/FONT]
Ive been with my Boyfriend
for nearly 6 months, we have managed everything except sex...the main reason (at first) was that my boyfriend was uncomfortable as i was raped and abused when i was younger, which made him feel slightly uneasy...:yeees:
I understood this perfectly altho i have to admit it upset me a little.
NOW... i think he is ready but its taken that long and really been playin on my mind that he thinks im tainted or something that i find it really hard to even get turned on now :banghead:
I mean i have moments but I no he has started to notice im not getting wet and i think he is starting to think its him.
Its really not, and im getting frustrated because i cant even seem to do it even if i am in the mood.
This has never been a problem before, altho sex before this has only really been casual i.e didnt really mean much?
I dont no how im supposed to get over this?!?
Help?
:crying:
[/FONT]
0
Comments
and there are other reasons that you might not be getting wet, medical ones...
I highly doubt there is anything medically wrong, had all those checks years ago and if that was the case this would have happened with other sexual partners.
Erm how would you know this without playing away? :eek:
and being abused as a kid doesn't automatically mean that you are scared off sex for life...
But that's y I don't get why this is happening with a guy I really like?
An I don't no how much longer we can go on if something doesn't happen?
Hey there, it sounds like you've been through some really tough times and have come through a lot, but are struggling to take things forward sexually with your current boyfriend.
Some of the feelings you've had about this sound really upsetting - and it's quite likely that your boyfriend is anxious about this too. What strikes me about your post is the fears you have about what your boyfriend might be thinking. It's going to be really important for you to talk about this with him if this guy is someone you really care for and want to be with so that you can get to the bottom of the situation and how you both feel about things.
You may find our article on communicating as a couple is a good starting point for thinking about this, but in context, it's important for any couple, regardless of their situation to be able to talk about sex in a way that enables them to enjoy the experience as much as possible. You may like the BBCs info on sex communication.
Take care and keep posting.
I'm starting to think he sees me as tainted or if not that just fragile?
Have you voiced this particular worry? Might be worth saying exactly this to him. Also, if you are worrying about it when it comes to having sex then it might be related to that - if you're not able to fully relax. It sounds as if you might benefit from a visit to Brook if you have a centre close by.