suicidal

Former Member

i dont want to be here anymore.

my life is so pointless.

ive lost all of my friends. i have a lovely boyfriend but im probably going to lose him. my family dont really give a hoot about me and only contact me once in a blue moon. jobwise, im going nowhere. im in shit loads of debt and cant seem to get myself out of it. im a burden on everyone. id be happier dead and everyone else would be happier if i was dead. i just seem to cause trouble and annoy people and no matter what i try to do to try and change things, to turn things around, it hits me back in the face.

im scared of doing it though. im scared of ending my life but i am so so sure its what i want to do and i have been for a long time now. ive been looking on websites trying to find out ways of killing myself without the pain. ive considered telling my family and friends im moving away then killing myself in a place where nobody could find me so they'd never know. im scared of hurting the very few people that do care about me by doing it but in the long run, they will be better off. im such a nuisance. im always going to be cuckoo-crazy and its only going to get worse as my mother is mentally ill and her mother was too. i dont want to get like them. im scared because on the balance of probabilities, its highly likely im going to get worse. my head is just screwed.

im taking ads at the moment but they just numb my pain. i just feel numb all the time and i could literally sit in one spot and sit there all day without moving because i just dont see the point in doing anything.

none of this even makes sense. just needed to write it all down somewhere. crap. just feel so crap.

Former Member

First of all can I just say many of us have been where you are now, including myself and there really is light at the end of the tunnel. You have taken the first steps by posting on here!

You say you have lost all your friends and that you fear losing your bf to, is there any reason for you seeing this happen?

Also have you been back to the doctor and told him how you are feeling? Prehaps you need to change your medication or just need to talk to someone.

Please take it from someone who knows, trying to end your life is not worth it. I tried a few years ago and am now glad that I didnt sucseed as I have everything I ever wanted in life, it just took a little longer to get there for me than it did for others.

If you want a chat just pm me!

*hugs*
AFA

C Funk

Hi there :wave:

I'm sorry to hear your feeling like this at the moment.

Life can feel extremely difficult for a lot of people, and sometimes to the extent that they want to end their own lives. If you are feeling suicidal, there are lots of people who can help you.

I know you say that you don't think your family care about you, but I'm sure that's not the case. Speak to the people around you about why you're feeling like this. Whether it's your friends, family, or boyfriend; they will be able to give you support and love.

If you do not feel comfortable speaking to those close to you try speaking to your doctor. They will be able to help you directly and enlist the help of other professionals. Please think about calling a crisis line. The Samaritans run a confidential telephone service that's available 24 hours a day. Their number is 08457 90 90 90. Saneline also run a similar service. Their number is 0845 767 8000.

Life has its highs and lows and sometimes the lows can outweigh the highs. Remember that things will get better once you speak to people and discuss how you feel. You really need some help with your depression - either antidepressants, or counselling, or both. You can get both of these from your doctor, so seriously think about booking appointment.

Please hang in there and speak to someone ASAP about how your feeling.

Sincerely hope you feel better soon.

:thumb:

Former Member

sorry to hear your feeling a bit down but things cant be that bad at least
you got your health .sure i hear you say that's not everything but let me tell you it is i had money in the bank a nice car a not so bad house and a not to bad way of life till my health went up the shit creek with not been
able to work and pay the mortgage and the simple bills i was declared bankrupt so i lost everything the house the car the lot then in 2006 i ended
up in hospital were i died for 90 sec also in that year i was told that by 2008 i would be in a wheel chair well i didn't make it to 2008 i got to early
2007 yes i am now in a wheel chair but i keep smiling there's no point in getting down as long as you have your health things will be OK i to have felt way way you feel right now but whats the point don't give up don't give in and by the way i wont sort any thing out when your gone what about the people you leave behind i know your not in contact all the time
but they are still there for you .go and see your doctor and tell them your having these type of thoughts but like i say don't give in to thinking its an easy way out its not it causes a lot of pain and heartache take it from me i know i have been there

Former Member

hey i really feel for you.

I know how bad life can feel. I was in a similar mind set myself myself not so long ago. But i just wanted to say things will get better, and befor you do try to commit suicide try to think about what might happen if it doesn't work.

i never ever thought that i would survive any of my suicide attepts (yeah i tryed a lot of times) but i did survive and i had to deal with the consequences. i fractured my spine (very nearly paralising myself) i damaged my liver, i spent two years in a psyciatric unit, my family was distraught. i never ever thought about any of it. i never thought about how lucky i was to still be walking. i never wanted to live.
but i passed it took years because i never allowed myself to think any other way. i felt low but i wasn't depressed. i self harmed, i wasn't scared of death but i wasn't happy. i hated myself and i couldn't think of my family. i thought they would be better with out me.

Now i'm out of hospital, i'm a volunteer, i have my own flat and a puppy. i have my down days and some times i feel like i want to die. but i know that i dont always feel like that, sometimes i feel like i have a future, i feel enthusiastic and this is what keeps me going. i am getting stronger every day and you can too. Life is so so hard sometimes and things seem hopeless but sometimes you have to feel the low to realise what you have in life.

Hold on in there chick,

things will get better for you too,

try to make a list of what GOOD things are in your life, your boyfriend? your family (Even though you may not see much of them)? "Like anone" said your health?

You still have time to be the person you want to be, to get out of life what you want.

Maybe it maybe worth seeing your doctor aswell chick XX

Former Member

You must, must. must speak to someone about this. Dont bottle it up.