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Quite disturbed :S sorry for length
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Last night I went to my uni's equivalent of a RockSoc (it's goes by a different name, but that's basically what it is.) I've gone every week since I started, met some really nice people. The week before I met a lovely guy (Mr X for now)and I went out after the Soc meeting with him and his friends into the city, and he said he'd be in touch and that he'd be at Soc the next week (last night.) Lo and behold, he wasn't in touch nor was he at Soc (I wasn't too surprised as a well known hardcore band were playing the uni that night, so quite a few soc members were going to that.)
I ended up getting approached by another student (Mr Y for now), did the whole name/course/what year you in? thing then he asked me who I knew at the Soc. I said I knew Mr X. He said he also knew Mr X, and was in fact living in Mr X's old room. Mr Y then went out for smoke so I thought I'd kick about to see if he knew where Mr X was/if he could put me in touch with him. When he came back in, I explained my situation to him and he gave me Mr X's number, and told me how to spell his name so I am now in touch with him over the mighty Facebook. I digress. Mr Y and his friend/bandmate Ms Z said they were going outside for another smoke. I said I'd sit outside with them as it was too hot in union bar.
We all got talking and they invited me and a couple of other people back to Ms Z's hall as she is a noob like me. However, she shares her room with another girl, so we went to the room of one of the guys (Mr A for now) with us as he lives in the same flat but has a room to himself. Ended up being me, Mr Y, Ms Z, Mr A, and 3 of Y & Z's friends in the room. Started off all fine and dandy with them playing some of the folk songs they have written. Then things got a bit weird. The hall opposite were flashing lights at us and then used a laptop to show us messages. Mr Y hijacked Mr A's laptop and began posting increasingly disgusting messages, which began with rape 'jokes' and ended with pictures of prolapses and a woman in a bath spraying her own excrement into her mouth. Not my idea of good taste, but thought maybe he was being a little extreme due to the amount he'd drunk. However, when he later mentioned Skrewdriver in a positive fashion, major alarm bells began ringing. I pretty much thought, uh oh, what the hell have I walked into? But I didn't wanna be the first to leave, so just stuck about through a few other distasteful conversations. I just thought, it's probably the booze, just showing off etc etc....
...then I realised this morning, only myself and Mr A had never met Mr Y before, and we were the only two people who seemed shocked/disgusted/disturbed by his behaviour. Nobody else batted an eyelid, which to me suggested that this is how he always behaves. Now I'm a little unsure as to whether I should A) Go to Soc again for a while and
Hang out with this particular group of people again, because to be honest whilst Mr Y has really unnerved me, and probably will continue to do so, I got on well with the other people and wouldn't wanna risk losing potential friends because of the actions of one person.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, sorry for the length of this!
I ended up getting approached by another student (Mr Y for now), did the whole name/course/what year you in? thing then he asked me who I knew at the Soc. I said I knew Mr X. He said he also knew Mr X, and was in fact living in Mr X's old room. Mr Y then went out for smoke so I thought I'd kick about to see if he knew where Mr X was/if he could put me in touch with him. When he came back in, I explained my situation to him and he gave me Mr X's number, and told me how to spell his name so I am now in touch with him over the mighty Facebook. I digress. Mr Y and his friend/bandmate Ms Z said they were going outside for another smoke. I said I'd sit outside with them as it was too hot in union bar.
We all got talking and they invited me and a couple of other people back to Ms Z's hall as she is a noob like me. However, she shares her room with another girl, so we went to the room of one of the guys (Mr A for now) with us as he lives in the same flat but has a room to himself. Ended up being me, Mr Y, Ms Z, Mr A, and 3 of Y & Z's friends in the room. Started off all fine and dandy with them playing some of the folk songs they have written. Then things got a bit weird. The hall opposite were flashing lights at us and then used a laptop to show us messages. Mr Y hijacked Mr A's laptop and began posting increasingly disgusting messages, which began with rape 'jokes' and ended with pictures of prolapses and a woman in a bath spraying her own excrement into her mouth. Not my idea of good taste, but thought maybe he was being a little extreme due to the amount he'd drunk. However, when he later mentioned Skrewdriver in a positive fashion, major alarm bells began ringing. I pretty much thought, uh oh, what the hell have I walked into? But I didn't wanna be the first to leave, so just stuck about through a few other distasteful conversations. I just thought, it's probably the booze, just showing off etc etc....
...then I realised this morning, only myself and Mr A had never met Mr Y before, and we were the only two people who seemed shocked/disgusted/disturbed by his behaviour. Nobody else batted an eyelid, which to me suggested that this is how he always behaves. Now I'm a little unsure as to whether I should A) Go to Soc again for a while and
Hang out with this particular group of people again, because to be honest whilst Mr Y has really unnerved me, and probably will continue to do so, I got on well with the other people and wouldn't wanna risk losing potential friends because of the actions of one person.Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, sorry for the length of this!
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Comments
It all depends on how much this really upsets you, it might be worth giving these people the benefit of the doubt and getting to know them a bit without alcohol being involved, they could be quite different.
so they were lookin up shit on the net and laughing?
fuck me and my mates do it all the time
i dont see wahts so strange?
Yeah, I know people do this all the time with their mates, they're perfectly entitled to. I just felt in this situation that is wasn't appropriate and the way that it was done was really creepy and didn't come across as being meant for a laugh but genuinely as way for disturbing the othe flat with a real sense of pleasure and menace. Seeing as I was informed that stalking and setting up false facebook accounts to try to lure people into compromising (possibly dangerous from what was hinted) situations was a regular hobby, is it any wonder I felt a little worried?
No, I have not led a sheltered life. It wasn't the most adventurous, but it wasn't wrapped in cotton wool either. I'm fully aware that this kind of material exists, and there are people who choose to view it and people who choose to make unsavoury jokes about sensitive subjects. The point I am trying to make is that I found this kind of behaviour as a whole fairly unnerving, most likely because I'd only known them a matter of hours at the time and it's not something I'm sure I'd be amazingly comfortable about if I was with my close friends, maybe a couple if I was curious, but not to have it waved it my face.
And thank you StupidGirl for being the only person that tried to offer some suggestions instead of criticising me in one form or another.
Pah! Ignore me. I'm a grumpy bugger.
in the context of where she is, if i was a female student at university (it appears that way) i would be pretty disturbed by it - she's come here asking for advice on how to deal with the situation and only stupidgirl has given a decent response tbh i'd say get some room and if you do go to an event like this again, try limit yourself or talk to other people there instead, not the greatest dvice but i'm not the greatest advisor
i personally know people with quite sick humour, including myself, but still we wouldn't go to those levels with people we hardly know since you don't know where people's sensibilities lay, or you'd at least test the water slowly - basic social skills and all, which i don't even have normally
a bit of forum etiquette to people who are having difficulties is always nice, compared to an opportunity to flame someone
I don't think anyone was flaming her, just saying that they thought from what she had described it seemed like a normal situation.
I think the best advice is continue to go to the soc but don't hang around for Mr. Y anymore if he creeps you out. But it does seem like you are being sensitive about things.
And agree with minimi.
He's probably trying to impress his mates about how "oh so controversial and subversive" he is...
You'll probably find some people with class soon enough.
Well hopefully, only been here a month so I guess you've gotta deal with the people you don't get on with before you meet the people you do.