Im a woman and I take way too long

Former Member

Hi there! Guess Im a little embarrassed to post about this but I am just so frustrated and cant take it anymore! I need answers.

I used to be able to cum all the time...like every time, and had the pleasure of experiancing multiple orgasms. Now, I guess the tables have turned on me and I really need to fix it.

My husband and I will have sex, which I admit is about 99% of the time rushed. Hes either rushing to get to work or rushing to go to sleep which frustrates me. But its not just with him that I am having this problem.

I will play with myself, though I honestly really wish I didnt have to.., and even when trying to pleasure myself it takes over an hour to reach any kind of climax, and when I do reach it, it almost feels not really worth it cause its weak. Sometimes I almost feel as if it was a fake orgasm, but when i try for more, I have to start all over again, which can take a whole nother hour.. and the same problem has happened with that try at it.

I feel like theres something wrong with me, and when it comes to sex with my husband, he now seems to not even want to try to give me an orgasm anymore cause it takes way too long. I am frustrated at my fullest now and I really need some good advice and help.

Thanks for your time

Former Member

Hi Hellcat,

Sorry to hear about the situation, it's obviously difficult to go from things being so easy to being difficult - especially given that a lot of advice around female orgasms tends to focus more on people who've not been able to orgasm.

It sounds like what you've said about rushing sex isn't helping things, is it a recent development that things are rushed. If it is then it might be that the pressure to produce results as quickly as possible is holding you back, as it were. Maybe that old advice about not trying too hard and finding some time to be together without worrying about an orgasm might help.

I'm not sure whether this all happened at once or if orgasms from masturbation have become less satisfying after the change in your sex life with your husband? It certainly seems that everything that tends to help with female orgasms tends to focus on the mind and how comfortable or relaxed someone is. So again, maybe finding some time to play around without thinking about having an orgasm might help.

However, on a more practical note, there's some advice over on the sexuality section of About.com that might be worth looking over. It's some tips for improving orgasms that you might find helpful.
http://sexuality.about.com/od/orgasms/a/better_orgasms.htm

There's also some advice on our website from a previous askTheSite question from someone in a similar situation that you might want to read -

slow to reach orgasm

Hope that helps